Once the Trust goes doesn't the love too?

United States
May 19, 2011 9:42am CST
Can you truly love someone you don't trust anymore? I say no. Once I discover I can't trust a guy ,any feeling I had for him dies. I distance myself and soon whatever we had is gone. How about you? Can you Still love someone you don't trust?
5 people like this
23 responses
@inertia4 (28192)
• United States
21 May 11
Once the trust goes thats it. It's like glue drying up. Everything falls apart after that. I should know, I was in a 17 year marriage and it fell apart due to trust. Not on my behalf mind you. I am still recovering from the mess three and a half years ago. That was my nine eleven.
2 people like this
• United States
21 May 11
I'm so sorry. If I had known I would have given you a heads up. Thanks for responding. The Last thing I wanted to do is trigger bad memories for anyone.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84206)
• Shingle Springs, California
19 May 11
I believe it does go. Maybe not right away, but eventually. Same thing for respect...
2 people like this
• United States
20 May 11
Lack of respect Kills love faster than Raid kills bugs.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36682)
• United States
26 May 11
Personally I think it really depends on the situation for sure. If it is something like they cheated on you, or something like that, it would be almost impossible for you to ever really Trust them. Problem is when in marriage unless there is other things it would be hard to quit loving them completely, but knowing this would for sure devistate me as well.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 May 11
If I were married , I Would assume he had someone else. There is no way out , we are stuck with each other. But with a boyfriend, Why Cheat? If I am not what you want , then leave.
@JenInTN (27545)
• United States
19 May 11
As for me...if I can't trust them..I can't be with them. I don't have time to worry about those things and if there is no loyalty..there is no time of mine going to be wasted. I am not the kind of person that has to spend every waking hour with my b/f. If he wants to go somewhere with friends..no problems with that here. I could not imagine not trusting him when he went. I wouldn't do it to myself.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 May 11
Exactly. The last thing I want to be is a clinging girlfriend. if I can't truist my guy , then it is over.It has to be.
@jillhill (37377)
• United States
19 May 11
We tend to be an aweful lot alike...we think the same. I don't understand how anyone could trust someone..then have that trust broken and still say I love you. Most of marriage etc is based on trust.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 May 11
Great minds think alike.
• Philippines
19 May 11
I believe that trust and love go hand in hand with each other. Thus, when trust disappears, slowly love also will vanishes. Its up to the person if he/she will still trust the other individual because of love. Otherwise, he/she has to let go.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 May 11
I agree. You can't love a person without trusting him or her. Trust is the foundation of love. Once it's gone, it will never come back, no matter how you try to regain that trust.
1 person likes this
• Canada
7 Jun 11
If someone loses my trust, they lose my love too. My husband and I talked about this before we got married. He's been in such a situation before, where someone cheated on him, but I never have. Even before I knew of his experience, I knew that I could and would never love someone who abused my trust that way. As for his situation, same thing. She ran off with the guy she cheated with.
1 person likes this
@jdyrj777 (6541)
• United States
21 May 11
I believe it starts to fade at that point.
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5036)
• India
20 May 11
Hey Sarah, the base for love is trust... Once the base is gone, love is gone too, of course... One can't love a person whom one doesn't trust... When the trust goes, what remains is only the infatuation... And that goes too, sooner or later... Take care...
1 person likes this
@macayadann (1235)
• Philippines
20 May 11
Well, as I keep on saying and reminding,do not let me caught you otherwise you will have a relationship that will end up in a war freak situation to force him to surrender and leave my home.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 May 11
I agree, once that trust is gone, loving someone back is like plunging a dagger in your heart, deeper and deeper. You bleed each time he kisses you. Your heart skips a beat each time he says he is going to work. Although he is soundly sleeping besides you, closing your eyes is a torture. When you don't believe anymore in his words, actions and even in your own heart. The love is gone. I don't say that it can't be repaired or build up back. But it will be a long and tedious work. A work that includes the colossal effort of both parties. Trust is the pillar of any relationship. A fundamental foundation that once weakened, it wouldn't resist the even the simplest storm. (^^,)
@blue65packer (11831)
• United States
20 May 11
I have trouble trusting people as it is! I would not trust the person I love if I found out I could not trust him! I would not be able to keep on loving the guy if I couldn't trust him! I would say "Adios! Hope the door hits you on the way out"!
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12065)
• India
20 May 11
I know of couples who are still together after trust is lost but I'm not close enough to ask them if the love remains. It could also be our culture where 'love' doesn't play a major role in a relationship. Personally, I can definitely say that once I lose trust in my partner, the love is lost too....and it will be very very hard for me to trust or love him again...but not impossible (I hope)...since I've not been in this situation, I can only say what I THINK I might feel.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 May 11
Yes! Though many may say that love will still exist with all the troubles that non-trusting brings forth. I say no, there can't be real love if there is no trust. See we can fool ourselves into believing there is love, obsess thinking there is still, love and or the convenience or habit that we think it is love. There is no love if trust is not there, no trust means we doubt absolutely everything even while the person can be innocent. How can we love someone and not believe them. How can we say we love someone and hurt them. So many how's and no love in there and while the trust is broken the how and if's will always remain.
@clocks123 (1226)
• United States
19 May 11
it would be hard for me to trust a person who did me wrong or lied to me. we would have to try to make it work again. it may never be the same again between you, but you could try. i think it would depend on the person themselves on how they really feel about it. trust = love. no trust=not really love.
1 person likes this
• India
19 May 11
Love & trust both are directly proportional to eachother. If you trust your partner more, that shows you love him more, If there is no trust, love can not exist there. If I were in your position, even I would have done the samething. I would never see that person's face again in life & never forgive that person for what that person has done to me. How can anyone still love someone who has broken the trust? Relationship depends on trust. If there is no trust, then that relationship is in stake.
1 person likes this
@aerous (13457)
• Philippines
19 May 11
It's really hard to love someone that we can't trust. Because we always doubt about the faithfulness of that person. Love should not be doubt and fearing. Love should be pure and no worries being implied...
1 person likes this
@sender621 (14933)
• United States
19 May 11
There isn't much left to the relationship once the trust is gone. without trust, love will fade away and no longer exist. Without the trust to build a sound foundation on for a relationship, lobe jusr can't survive for long.
@783748 (178)
• Philippines
19 May 11
I believe that in loving, trust is really essential. When trust is gone, love also fades away. How can you be with someone you can't even trust? So I would say that I can't love someone I don't trust anymore.
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11496)
• India
19 May 11
Of course not.You can love a person with all his/her idiyosyncracies; but if trust is lost everything else is lost.
1 person likes this