Two sides of the coin
By Toni
@toniganzon (72279)
Philippines
May 24, 2011 8:02am CST
I have friends who depend solely on my advice whenever they have problems, thus I am very careful with the words that come out of my mouth as they can be very powerful. So how do I go about giving advices? First I tell my friends that based on their stories, this is what my opinion is, however, the coin has two sides. If I'm going to look at one side alone, it would be very unfair to make any judgments. So what Im giving is just merely a presumption based on what I have heard. Second, I tell my friend to give me an opportunity to look at the other side of the coin. Only then and there can I make my final opinion.
How about you? Do you always look at the two sides of the coin or one side is enough to make judgments?
12 responses
@hot_legs15 (132)
• Philippines
25 May 11
Looking at the two sides of the coin, as you said it, is indeed, the proper method before we can make our judgments.
People tend to exaggerate facts when it is favorable to them, but understate it, when it is incriminating. That is why, hearing both sides will give a clearer picture of the truth.
But what happens if you do not have access on the other side of the coin? Would you deter from giving your opinions?
@bird123 (10632)
• United States
25 May 11
Giving advice is a good thing. It shows you care. Always encourage people to listen to your advice but make their own choices. After all people should be able to stand on their own two feet and choose. It's when they allow others to choose for them is when the real trouble usually shows up.
@allknowing (130184)
• India
25 May 11
Giving advice is a dangerous thing. I have burnt my fingers. A friend of mine bitterly complained about her husband being mean to her bla bla bla and so I told her what to do. Her husband was shocked at her attitude as she had never behaved that way before and after dilly dallying she blurted out that it was I who gave her the advice!
You can imagine the rest!
You can imagine the rest!
@stanley777 (9402)
• Philippines
25 May 11
Yeah , we are happy to give advice especially to friends who have problems.As you have said you have to know the facts first between the parties concerned because you are the mediator.Sometimes wrong advice leads to more problems because what you say they take it literally.So it's better to know the roots of the problem first befor the opinion and then the advice.Thanks for sharing...
@mrgpk63 (444)
• United States
25 May 11
I like use the Two Side of the Coin Method but that Depends on the Situation in Hand. A Family Member or Good Friend will know You Mean Well. When You Speak. I would State an Opinion before making a Judgement Call. But in a Situation Where Help is Needed and the Person can't See the Problem. Be Very Firm and Express What You Mean in a Strong Tone. Be Judgmental as Needed and get the Help ASAP.
@saiKO92 (392)
• Malaysia
24 May 11
Hello there.
Although there are a lot of times when my friends will be asking for some advices but usually I only able to give them a little bit of it. Well, it is because I'm still inexperience when it comes to giving advices. But whenever I'm giving some advice, I will think about it thoroughly and consider every available option.
The truth about giving advice is as you said. When we are asked to give advice we have to look through both the pros and the cons. If we avoid that task, our judgment or advice will be the correct one.
@umabharti (3972)
• India
24 May 11
hi , yes many of my friends say this that i talk what ever i like, when i say something they say that i cant do judgement.
I think both ways so i use both sides of the coin while i do something, this gives a problem,i suggest something this also is giving problem to me in any relation ship.
i see overall problem and say something some like it some dont.I think of stop saying or suggesting ,how can i do this?.
@bdance22 (86)
• Philippines
24 May 11
I guess I do look at both side of the story. You have to lay it all out there especially if its for someone. you have to give both the pro and the cons so that they can eventually decide coz' in the end they will have to make the decision and not us who they seek for advise.
@ma3121 (29)
•
24 May 11
we must always consider both the situation regarding on what we are giving as advice..well its good that your friend's see you someone who can head for their advice to..well listen to the problems with full concentration and then think on the positives what your advice can bring..and then think on the negatives or the problems that can rise from your advice and then if there are more negatives coming then its better to have an alternate solution to the problem..yes i look on both the sides of the coin while giving away the advice..but sometimes it is like your advice being not so good can do miracles..the best way is to think deep and wise on the problem and to give the best advice after discussing others.good luck.
