Leaving kid/s alone by themselves due to work...what would you feel?

Hi Jaiho, If you can leave them because they are old enough to take care of themselves that will be fine or hire someone to look after them (and that is not me hahaha) being single parent is really hard everything is getting higher beside you need to work so they will have a better future. But if you can find a work that no need to leave them that is better it is still different if the parents are around to guide their children. happy mylotting

Hello Jai! I think, it would be safer to stay near home even if the salary is less rather than going away from home for the sake of higher salary. Looking after grown up kids is an important responsibility of single parent and this should be given the priority. If the single parent is away from home, s/he will remain tense thinking about even the grown up kids.

jaiho2009 No there is just too many things that could happen so no your children must have someone to oversee them, preferably a close relative or a good friend whom you know and trust. even young teens need some]su pervision. if you can afford a nanny do that or get your mom to help you out but please people never let children be alone, not ever. It just not safe. as good as they may be they might not know what to do if a fire breaks out or a brother or sister falls and breaks a limb. they need at least a sixteen or eighteen year old that is sensible preferably an adult but they should not be left alone.No enlist adult help from relatives or friends or if y ou have to from a qualified nanny or househelp who loves children.adult kids can darned well fend for themnselves b ut teens need some one who cares.

Personally, i do not think i could leave them. Me and hubby often talk about this and if worse comes will one of us be able to sacrifice and go abroad? And i would often say, i do not think i can because the kids are too small and i do not know if i could bear it not seeing them for months, even years and if it was him, i also do not know if we could bear not seeing each other. So we try our best so as no one will sacrifice that way. But in the scenario you mentioned, if i am a single mom and my kids are already a bit grown up, maybe i could since they are already at a stage where they understand me and be considerate about it and i am assured that they are already responsible.

Wait didi...Let me ask my mom....

Hi friend! That's a tough question for me 'cause I really never wanted to leave my kids. But given the situation that I'm for example a single parent and my kids are already grown-ups,working abroad is really tempting. I believe I will go for it my friend but only if the salary is promising,enough for me to save big money for our future. And my mind and heart will be fine if my kids will be taken care of by my parents. I don't want anybody else but them,to assure that my kids are in good hands. I know it will be very painful but I believe that's the right thing to do,for the future of my kids. These days we should be practical enough to survive and have a better life. See yah!

Grown up means what age? My son will be 12 this July but I still would never leave him alone as yet. As a woman, I know and feel how unjust it is to us women that only we feel the guilt pangs whereas no husbands ever volunteers to stay at home or not move out of the city and instead allow the wife to follow her dreams and aspirations *sigh* However, I sincerely feel that as adults, its our own choice to have kids and once we have them, they should be of prime priority, even before our careers (speaking strictly from a woman’s point of view). Under such circumstances, I would never leave my child continuously to some other care…its as good as sending him to a boarding school (which I can never do). Maybe in the day time when I’m in office, I would arrange for some help or keep him with my mom or in-laws, but at the end of the day, I have to return home to him. Also I feel grown up kids (teens) need more attention and care from the mother…it’s the time when they are the most curious about so many things and the mother should be there like a friend to discuss and guide in every matter….

Me personally I wouldnt because I am a family person and I have to be there for my children no matter how old they are. And no amount of money is worth that. If my kids cant come with me then I am not leaving them. Kids need their parents whether they are 5 or 15. And honestly they are not supposed to be living by themselves until they are 18. I wouldnt trust anyone to take care of my children like I do. Thats how some kids grow up and are distant from their parents because they chose work over the kids. Teenagers sometimes never tell their parents how they really feel about a situation, but as parents you should know whats going on in your kids head without having to ask them. Just think about if it were you.

Hi jaiho: Let me tell you that this is a very difficult question. Even if I am a boy and I don't have kids, I think I won't do it unless I really, really need the job, because, even if they are grown up I'll miss them a lot and I'll lose a lot of quality time with my children just because of the job ALVARO

Actually when kids this age are left to fend for themselves they become more responsible. With proper security and a daily follow up like exchange of phone calls and emails and occasional visits it should be possible to leave them that way.

Hi jai di Unfortunately I can never become a mom and so I can never understand and answer that question as a mom. But still, as a father, I will not leave my kid to go out for work abroad unless the package offers me to move with my family. Simple reasoning for me - 1. I love my wife - so cannot burden her with bringing up the kids while I am away. 2. I would love to see my kid grow - take the first steps, take the first day to school... everything... This is what is important than pursuing my own career. And if I was a single parent, then the responsibilities will definitely get doubled as I will have to play both - mom and dad for the kids. If I cannot care for my kids, why someone else would care for them

I understand where your worry comes from - from your good heart! Hehe. You're so attached with them and you want to protect them whatsoever way that you tend to forget they're already grown ups. Take that job opportunity and if you're still uncomfortable, ask an elderly to look after them.

If you have family members near at your house and your children are already old enough and you are confident with them already then why not grab the opportunity. If it is also okay for your children that you will leave them.

It would be better if a family member can look after them while you are away. Your heart and mind will be at ease. I am pretty sure that if you just let them by themselves or even with a helper, you would constantly think about them. Thus, you will not be able to work properly. Try to ask you mom, auntie, cousin to look after them while you work.

If the need arises, I would have no other option, would I? I would prefer to have a relative than a household help to be around my kids...for adult supervision......it also depends on how much I was being payed and how much of it went into transport (since you mentioned distant place). I wouldn't mind leaving them alone if they weren't little kids but I would also make sure to keep the communication lines open because that's a very tricky age where anything can happen no matter how careful you are. One of my neighbours often has to leave her 10 year old daughter at home alone...when she is sick and my friend has to go to work...or when the daughter is off from school and she is working. But she makes it a point to let me know that the child is alone at home and if there is anything important she will call me. She has a maid who comes to clean the home but not to take care of the children.

If I were in that situation, I would definitely grab that opportunity so as I can guarantee a good future for them. Even though they are already grown up, I still would want somebody to oversee them when I'm gone. It is still best that there is someone there to keep them grounded. To me my children will always be my babies no matter how tall they grow up to be. I'll do my best to work hard and get enough savings to start a business back home. In this way, I can come home and be with my children.

I don't want to leave my kids alone in the house. If ever I have to leave them, I have to ask my mother to stay with them. There was a time during an emergency situation where we have to rush my father in law in the hospital, I leave my 8 and 12 years old daughter in my in-law's house by themselves only. I call them from time to time and instructed them to wait for my mother who will be coming for them. I told them not to open the gas range and try to cook something and do not touch the electrical appliances.

hello, Yes, this is really common specially if you dont have any choice but to leave. My mother also work abroad when I was 7 y/o and my sister is 9. She work there almost 8 years.Well, because I dont have a father I grown up with my grand mother at my side but I understand it because I know she just do it for our better but you know when I was a kid I always want her to go home. But now that I am 20 y/o well I undersand why she work there because she want to earn enough money to supply our basic needs. By the way my mom already got home when I am 14 y/o and now I will be graduating for college. She sees her hard work through those things she made us.