Innapropiate touching
By shazzies
@shazzies (50)
Australia
June 2, 2011 2:52am CST
Hi
I had this "friend" who I have known for about 15 years. He started to tell me a few months ago that he "loved" me and he wanted to be with me. He then started to touch me on my breasts. I was upset as I am single and dont like when people do that. He kept the pressure on and told me that I would never meet anyone who would love me like he does. It got to a point the other night that he came over to help me on with my computer. We started laughing and talking and then he asked me for a hug. So I hugged him and like a hug should be nice and quick yeah?? Well this hug went on for a few minutes. I then turned to get away from him and to break the hug off. He then grabbed me into a hold and started to put his hand under my top again. That upset me to the point that I dropped to the floor and told him NO leave me alone repeatedly. He continued to get to me again and I told him to leave me alone and to get out. As I was on the floor he asked me if I wanted help to get up and I told him NO and to get out. Well he left and fast. He is married with 6 kids so I know that there is no hope for us.
I then went to my doctor and he sent me to a counselor. The counselor told me that he basically raped me that is why I got so emotional and cried for 3 days straight. He has so far left me alone which is good...
My problem now is........How to trust in a man again? And how to find a close friend who will understand me?
3 people like this
7 responses
@visavis (5934)
• Philippines
2 Jun 11
Hello my friend,
Sorry for thinking something about you regarding how you give a trust on that man and being a friend of 15 years. You give full trust to him, even in the first event he tried to do something to you which nothing big reaction from you (which normally may be angry and don't want to see him again). But then you said he helped you soo in that case he never thought the first offense instead he thought that you like what he done to you so that he done again... Sorr y again but you give him a thought that you like him also... are you?
My only suggestion is keep away to him and just focus on the things that can be help to you and don't worry you will find a right guy for you.... see you around
@shazzies (50)
• Australia
3 Jun 11
I liked him as a friend... He was like a big brother to me who helped me when I needed help. But I also have a disability and it is hard for me to separate the good and the bad. It was like being on a roundabout and I would say to him to stop and then he would start again and tell me he wanted me and stuff like that. I am now not in contact with him although we both live in the same town. I am hoping the right person comes along as I am very lonely....Thanks for your comment
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
2 Jun 11
Hi sha!
This sounds very shocking 
that the fellow tried to take advantage of your loneliness and your situation and tried to molest you. In my view his intentions were not good and had you not stopped him he would have actually gone far away and would have harmed you much. I think this one off incident should work as an experience for you. In future you should be very cautious while dealing with such kind of persons, who appears to be indecent and having lust in them. Remember all men are not bad like him. There may be some nice gentlemen but that you will get to know as you gain experience in life.
that the fellow tried to take advantage of your loneliness and your situation and tried to molest you. In my view his intentions were not good and had you not stopped him he would have actually gone far away and would have harmed you much. I think this one off incident should work as an experience for you. In future you should be very cautious while dealing with such kind of persons, who appears to be indecent and having lust in them. Remember all men are not bad like him. There may be some nice gentlemen but that you will get to know as you gain experience in life.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
5 Jun 11
Don't feel hesitant or shy to communicate with others. All are human like us and if anyone creates doubts in your mind, you can avoid him. Hope you get the man of your choice sooner than later. All the best.
@mansha (6298)
• India
2 Jun 11
my advice you avoid him completely and he did try to molest you and being father of six he knew what he was doing and you are obviously simple and straight. Do whatever but do not be alone with him again and if you can raise your voice and call others in your house for help and may be you can tell him that you will tell his wife if he touches you again and if you feel like it go and tell her now before it gets out of hand and he starts blaming you. He is a sleazy fellow and deserves a slap real hard.
@shazzies (50)
• Australia
3 Jun 11
Hi I do have some friends on speed dial that I can contact if I need to. The police were uninterested as they were more worried about the amount of paperwork that they had to fill in. I was surprised and so were my doctors. I have a disability as well so I guess it is my word against his but all of my family and friends believe me as I would never make something like this up. Surprisingly his wife has a nickname for me... She calls me "The your comment :)
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
2 Jun 11
Hi. shazzies. Welcome to myLot!
If he was really your true friend, he would never touch you in this way. He is married with six kids so this should tell you something. He is a pervert and he just wants what he wants. I am sorry that he has damaged your mind mentally. His wife should know what type of person that he is too. I would press charges on him because when you told him no, he should have left you alone. I believe that he has, had the hots for you for the longest. Just stay away from him and don't have anything else to do with him. Consider your friendship of 15 years to him, completely over and eradicated!
If he was really your true friend, he would never touch you in this way. He is married with six kids so this should tell you something. He is a pervert and he just wants what he wants. I am sorry that he has damaged your mind mentally. His wife should know what type of person that he is too. I would press charges on him because when you told him no, he should have left you alone. I believe that he has, had the hots for you for the longest. Just stay away from him and don't have anything else to do with him. Consider your friendship of 15 years to him, completely over and eradicated!@shazzies (50)
• Australia
3 Jun 11
I do believe now that my relationship has now been finished and the ties that had us bound have been broken. My family are relieved and I am now trying to get my life back on track to be happy and not sad. The police are not interested in the situation as it is a he says she says situation. My pastor and church family and friends and doctors have been there and I have them all on speed dial. They were worried about me as I had thoughts of self harm sometimes and I did have a few panic attacks. But they are all over now and I am very grateful. Thanks so much for your comment :)
@devijay78 (1573)
• India
4 Jun 11
Hi dear. Sorry to hear what you have gone through. I know how it feels as I have gone through similar ones myself when I was young. And the worst part is I had no one to talk to. Now after so many years, I know I should have sought help from my parents atleast. But I am much wiser now.
Keep away from him for the rest of your life! Make sure that you do not even talk to him or see him. And don't meet him even when everyone are there with you. It will keep the memories alive. What you are doing is correct. Get professional help and be with people who love you all the time, at least till you are able to get yourself out of this trauma.
And it will be hard for you to trust another man again. But first learn to trust your instincts and get your self respect back. Trusting others will come later and you will learn slowly. Concentrate on yourself first. I will keep you in my prayers and god bless you.
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
2 Jun 11
Sorry to hear these Shazzies, it's basically RAPE. He's just so unworthy of the trust that you've given him. He's an opportunistic bast*rd. He's got family and he's like that?
It would be so hard for you to just move on and trust another man again. You've been hurt and disrespected by some moron who's not even human I guess. So I suggest take time to heal. Allow yourself to heal, it may take a long process but it will help you get back up. Find your strength to get back up, have a support group. Your set of friends, your family etc.
Stay away from that guy. He doesn't even deserve to be thought of anyway. And hey, "if you believe in GOD" pray... 
chuyins
It would be so hard for you to just move on and trust another man again. You've been hurt and disrespected by some moron who's not even human I guess. So I suggest take time to heal. Allow yourself to heal, it may take a long process but it will help you get back up. Find your strength to get back up, have a support group. Your set of friends, your family etc.
Stay away from that guy. He doesn't even deserve to be thought of anyway. And hey, "if you believe in GOD" pray...
chuyins@shazzies (50)
• Australia
3 Jun 11
I do believe in God and I have my church pastors helping me alot at the moment. I am very angry with him at the moment and want to hash it out but it probably wont help at all so I am just going to do nothing. I dont want to upset his family but if he contacts me again I will tell his wife. Thanks for your comment
@mensab (4200)
• Philippines
2 Jun 11
i am sorry to hear this story. you must be devastated for a while learning how your trust was crushed by a "friend." anyway, not all men are like that. i hope your experience does not mold all men as evil. what you experienced is a violation of one man. there are more guys who will be able to redeem themselves in you (if you changed your image of guys). it will take some time, but take it if you must. i wish you the best.
