breaking up gracefully (better off as friends than lovers)
By chuyins123
@chuyins123 (2112)
Philippines
June 7, 2011 8:13am CST
And just a few hours back, I have been declared, officially SINGLE.
Yes, we ended up losing a grip on the rope and just let go for the better. It's now time to move on with life. I told her I am not angry, I don't hold any grudges on her, I am don't have bitterness, I just want a simple life. No worries, no angst, not much to think of. We just decided to let go. Both of us. And well, we decided to be just FRIENDS.
I also said "if we can't make it work now, because there are some things we need to fix, then we shouldn't force it to work, coz it won't. Maybe we're just better off as friends than lovers."
We exchange goodbye messages, and wished each other the best in life. This isn't going to be easy for me though, but I am confident GOD will strengthen me to carry on and live a wonderful life.
3 people like this
13 responses
@sunnystarfish (210)
• Philippines
8 Jun 11
That's good for you. Atleast you broke up as friends. At first, you will really have a hard time. But eventually you'll get the hang of it. Learn a new sport or have a new hobby. When my heartbroke, i learned to play the guitar. Just find things to do and get your mind occupied. Surely, you'll recover soon.
1 person likes this
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
8 Jun 11
Hi Sunnystarfish,
Yes, I believe I'll get the hang of it soon. I believe it's not that hard for me to move on. We're still friends and the good part that I am seeing here, is that we are not holding any ill feelings for each other. I'll recover soon, this is my decision. I should stand with it in faith. Appreciate your advice. Gonna try em.
@sunnystarfish (210)
• Philippines
9 Jun 11
Well you can never tell. Maybe you both just need time to re-evaluate things. It's good that you still see each other. Maybe then you'll realize that you could still be together. I believe in the saying that timing is everything.
@greenmachine45 (430)
• United States
8 Jun 11
It's good it wasn't a bitter break up where you resent each other. You never know when you both get whatever issues you have maybe one day it will work for the two of you and get back together.
1 person likes this
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
9 Jun 11
Yes, I think the worst part of a relationship is not about breaking up, it's about breaking someone hearts that will make you or both of you bitter with each other. So if you can save yourselves from bitterness. It's better to end it gracefully and agree on things, making the break up not as hard. 
@indahfth (11161)
• Indonesia
8 Jun 11
failure in a relationship is very common. this is better, than the failure in marriage. You can learn from the failure of your relationship. I'm happy, you can accept failure with a big heart, and want to continue your life without any grudges.
1 person likes this
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
8 Jun 11
It's acceptable because we both decided on it. Failure doesn't always mean that you have to be sad and all, you can accept reality as it is, embrace it, and welcome the opportunity to grow and learn from such a reality.
@daiweian06 (1405)
•
8 Jun 11
I hope that you both really want to be single at all. I believe that when you feel good about your decision it means that its really wholeheartedly decision. like what you said you both decided to as friends and not a lover may be it is because you both don't really love each other from the start.
I feel that you are both happy that now you are single and not yet ready to mingle but to enjoy life. May be its not yet time for you to go to another relationship again. Just wait for the right time and girl. One day you will feel like your in love again and there will come a girl who will attract you most.
Good day!
God bless!
1 person likes this
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
8 Jun 11
It's more on wanting to make the most out of what we have. If we can't be great lovers why not be great friends for now right? We both wanted to hold on for long, but it just didn't work, and we're afraid it might just hurt us later.
As of the moment, I am content with our decision and I hope she's happy with what we've decided. Anyway, we're still friends.
@amitgune (877)
• India
8 Jun 11
That's the right way to do it. If the relationship cannot go on, it must not go on. Also better be good friends than bad lovers. Wish you and her the very best for your future.
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
8 Jun 11
True amitgune, It will just hurt us if we force it to work when it is very evident that it wont.
I believe that love will find its way back to us if we really are meant for each other. For now, we have to continue living our lives, searching what we really want in life. And if our roads cross again, then we'll see it from there. Thanks amitgune! 
@Xyberzone (33)
• Malaysia
8 Jun 11
Hey! You can't force someone to be with you or love you or whatever. Sometimes you just have to let them go.Just Being Friends is okay, just don't let the past affect your future. If you love her just set her free, she have a choice to be with whoever she wants.
1 person likes this
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
8 Jun 11
Verily xyberzone, that's what I am pointing out to her. I want her to be free, and make her decide for her life, I actually want her to enjoy life to the fullest. Do whatever she wants, and be happy! Even without me.
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
10 Jun 11
Hello Ambie,
I just tried to strengthen my self in GOD. And he goes, lighting my way to see the brighter side of the story.
Thanks.
Thanks.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
8 Jun 11
I'm so sorry it didn't work out but I am so proud of you for How you two ended it. Many can't just stop and decide to go back to being just friends. Many keep trying to make it work and the love they had turns into resentment. I know there is a woman put there for you. Just take your time. Grieve for this lost, mend your heart And Then look for her.I wish you happiness. Take Care.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
8 Jun 11
Let yourself grieve . When my heart was broken I grieved and then when my heart mended I found the love of my life. I believe if I had ignored the pain or became bitter , I would have missed my True love. So take your time. Take Care.
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
8 Jun 11
Hi Sarah,
I know it wouldn't be that easy for me now. But I have to be strong and take on the challenge of moving on. Life is still great, and I believe GOD will keep me firm so that I could carry on even with the pain. And well, it would be gone soon.
1 person likes this
@dont_pick_your_nose (2279)
• Australia
7 Jun 11
Sounds like your a together guy with a good brain on your shoulders.
A mutual decision is just that, equal and agreed upon by both of you, having an attraction for someone doesn't mean they are the person you are destined to spend your life with, that person will come along when the time is right to sweep you off your feet and show you the respect you deserve.
Also i think its not official for a couple of days unless you get back together like i used to with my ex over an over, i love him, suddenly i hate him... then i miss him. Now though i am happy that he is gone and i have moved on with my life, he was very abusing and i found myconfidence was crushed by his spiteful remarks and violence. Its not a pleasent memory though. So i'm gonna stop thinking about it now.
@dont_pick_your_nose (2279)
• Australia
7 Jun 11
thanks great advice, i wish you all the best in your single life! You seem to really accept this change in your life as a good one and have faith to live with such trust. I think your words are very wise and should be respected. I wish i had someone tell me that information 2 years ago i respected enough to listen too.
1 person likes this
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
8 Jun 11
It's never to late to get back up. Coz life could always drag us down, but we have to find our strength to get back up. Find that little hint of strength that could potentially allow you to get back up and live life again with an eye of faith.
Believe that you are unique, so you can't be anyone else's character. You are "YOU", unique as your are you should love it. Tell yourself "I am unique, and I love it."
If you've already forgiven your ex, you can now move on with great love for yourself and from that love of self, it shall eventually flow to others. Because by nature, as God's great masterpiece, YOU ARE LOVABLE. [i][/i]
chuyins
chuyins@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
7 Jun 11
Hello dont_pick_your_nose,
Well, it's just practical to do. We decided to untie the rope because we believe it would just hurt us later on if we force to make it work even if it wont. I told her to love herself more than she love me. And that's what I would do with myself too.
You can only give what you have. So love should begin from yourself right? She may have thrown harsh comments and words at me before, but I have long forgiven her. I don't want to take up loads of stones on my back when I could carry a light baggage by letting go of those unnecessary stones....
Don't be selfish but you should love yourself too. And allow yourself to forgive and heal.
I wish you well in everything my friend. God bless you and your life.
chuyins
1 person likes this
@randyc (85)
• Jamaica
7 Jun 11
Lucky you, i want to grow up and get married and have a family. Its not like i can afford a house as yet but after going into such a deep relationship i still cant believe my girlfriend broke up with me. Now i don't even want to have another friend the way i see how things can go. Its just tough Life i guess...
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
7 Jun 11
I also want to get married, have my own family and my own home, raise my kids, etc etc. But as of the moment, I guess we don't need to force each other into a system (relationship) that we both know couldn't handle or manage well right now. 
I do know and well aware that it's tough to be alone, Single and now sweetheart and all. But I'd rather suffer that way than make another one to suffer just because we are hooked into a relationship.
I wish you well in your relationships randy. Soon you'll find the one true love of your life. And I hope it'd be that soon.
chuyins
I do know and well aware that it's tough to be alone, Single and now sweetheart and all. But I'd rather suffer that way than make another one to suffer just because we are hooked into a relationship.
I wish you well in your relationships randy. Soon you'll find the one true love of your life. And I hope it'd be that soon.
chuyins
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
8 Jun 11
I am here for you friend, anytime you want someone to listen to you. I'm just a text a way. I don't know why but i do support your decision. I think it's for the best and and if she's meant for you, in the end love will find it's way back.
I know that love will not disappear as easy as smoke evaporates. But God is with you and you're a strong person. I believe you can go on with life, enjoy being single. YOu know being single has a lot of perks and i wish to go back to those days sometimes but you know i couldn't. So if there's one thing i envy in you, that is your being single lol.
It's not easy but you always have friends around to cheer you up. Welcome to the world of singlehood. Have fun.
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
8 Jun 11
You've never failed to be there for me my friend and I greatly appreciate that. I believe with the support group that I have. With you mylot family and all my friends online and offline, I could go on with this life happy and fulfilled. Yeah, I guess I should cherish this time that I am single again!
Thank you for the encouragement, I am ignited to carry on with this. After all it is my decision. So I should stand with it and face the consequences. 
Thank you for the encouragement, I am ignited to carry on with this. After all it is my decision. So I should stand with it and face the consequences. 
@whitewingspeak (888)
• Philippines
7 Jun 11
Are you sure you are going to call it quits? Don't you give yourselves any second chance? It's hard i know specially if u have given out effort in a relationship, but you sounded like its the best for both of you.. But, as long as you/she is not changing phone numbers and emails, there is still a chance to reconnect...:)
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
7 Jun 11
Pretty much sure for now whitewingspeak. We both decided on the matter. And it's really over, not that we disconnect each other, we just untie the rope. Because it might just hurt us later on. 
We don't intend to change contact numbers or emails, in fact I told her, I would still be here for her as a friend, NOT as a lover and she agreed. So I guess it's fine now. 
We don't intend to change contact numbers or emails, in fact I told her, I would still be here for her as a friend, NOT as a lover and she agreed. So I guess it's fine now. 