What Am I Supposed to Tell My Children?
By Angel
@Angelee_27 (3460)
United States
June 9, 2011 3:54pm CST
I often wonder, one day when I have children... and they ask who "God" is, what do I tell them?
You see, I am not a follower of God. I have no religion. That is just my choice. (Please do not force your religion upon me, or judge me!)
However, I do respect others who follow God... whatever religion they choose is their choice and they should not be judged.
My family, and my fiance's family are both Christian. Therefore, when I have children... I am afraid someone in one of our families will make a comment about "God". What do I do when my child comes to me and asks who God is? I do not wish to raise my child as a Christian... I would prefer them to stay away from religion. However, I can't control that. I will let them explore and will support them in whatever the choose. If they was to be a Christian, Buddhist, etc... so be it! It's their choice.
But what do I tell them when they ask who God is, since I do not believe in him?
Again, please be respectful of my choices. I would never judge any of you, bash your religion, or try to tell you anything like "God is not real!" just because I do not believe in him. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs!!!
2 people like this
13 responses
@maxen07 (882)
• Philippines
10 Jun 11
You should not force what you want on your children if you don't want others forcing their beliefs on you. I'd tell them the truth, that you don't follow any religion and that you don't believe in God. Explain to them as simply as you can the reason why. You could ask fro help from a local parish. I'm sure that a local priest won't mind explaining to you kids if they ever ask about God.
2 people like this
@maxen07 (882)
• Philippines
10 Jun 11
I know how hard it is to explain and tell people about things that I don't believe in and the harder when it comes to your kids. I think you should really ask help on the religion department, have a relative or a trusted friend talk to your kids about God in your stead.
1 person likes this
@Angelee_27 (3460)
• United States
10 Jun 11
I am just worried that they will ask at a very young age, and I will not know how to explain religion to such a young child, as they do not understand such complicated things. :(
1 person likes this
@ptower76 (1616)
• United States
9 Jun 11
When I was a scoutmaster back in the day, we were forbidden from promoting any form of religion but on the other hand encouraged to help develop the children's spirituality. Easier said than done. I therefore connected the higher power that many consider god to the forces of nature or at least tried the best I could. On Sunday mornings when we were in the outdoors on weekend camping trips or summer camp for example, I would walk the boys into a secluded clearing and explain that while we are not going to pray to any one particular God, we should take a moment and reflect about our connection to nature and to a power greater than ourselves whatever we believe it to be. 5 minutes of silence usually was suffice for them to come out of the experience with a bit of spiritual peace of mind. I also do not believe in God as taught in a specific religion since I believe that religion is a man made phenomenon. For me living God's word is accepting my place in the biodiversity that is this planet and to live a life that will not upset the tender balance of nature or the social animal that is mankind.
1 person likes this
@Angelee_27 (3460)
• United States
9 Jun 11
Thanks for such a wonderful response! :-)
I too believe that religion is a man-made phenomenon.
So many good responses! It's going to be difficult to choose just one as the "best response"! :-)
@ptower76 (1616)
• United States
9 Jun 11
Make the best response the one that you share with your child when you are asked "Who is God" lol. I also did not know 20 years ago when my daughter asked that question. I flipped it and asked her who she thinks he is. Not fair right. She never spoke about it again and I am curious what she thinks now. lol. Perhaps she can teach me now. 
2 people like this
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
9 Jun 11
Maybe now you must ask.Then obviously you have been afraid to know what you think.
@Galena (9110)
•
9 Jun 11
I come from a Pagan family, so I am not without my own Gods.
but growing up, I hadn't been exposed to Christianity, and school was a bit confusing, when they started talking about Cristianity as if it were as definite as maths.
and when I asked my mum about it, I think her answer was good.
she told me that like the greek and norse myths (which I was already familiar with) the stories were written a very long time ago, and no one who was there then is still here now, so people now don't know if it really happened or not. and that some people think it did happen, and some people think it didn't. I have to make up my own mind about that.
1 person likes this
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
9 Jun 11
Hi there! I am a Christian and I do understand what you are saying here. Well, like what those before me said, it's best to explain to them the facts as you know it. Since you are willing to let them choose their own belief, I think it would probably be good to give them the option of choosing at a very young age, so that your children may learn and explore about it earlier and decide on it. For some people, they use religion as a standard for moral upbringing, because of the teachings in most if not all religions. Therefore, you can also use this to help your children gain knowledge on the basics of right and wrong, not necessarily religion-based.
Anyway, I wish you good luck on this and I do appreciate the fact that you are willing to let your children to choose for themselves, rather than enforcing not to believe.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
10 Jun 11
I might allow my daughter to go to vacation bible school this summer. She wanted to go the last few years and I never spent time away from my kids so I didnt want her to go. I think since she is used to being in school during the day and will be home every day during the summer I might let her to to the vacation bible school this summer. She can learn about god and make her own choices later in life weather she believes or not.
1 person likes this
@Angelee_27 (3460)
• United States
9 Jun 11
Although I do not believe in any God, and would prefer them to feel the same... it is not my choice. :-) They are their own person, they are not me... so in my mind, I have no choice but to let them choose for themselves.
I would not feel right bashing any religion, or telling my children that they are all not "real". Even if I don't believe in any religion myself.
I don't plan on taking them to any kind of churches or anything similar while they are growing up (unless they ask me to go of course)... If they want to go to different churches, and explore different religions, I am fine with that. I want them to learn about all religions before choosing on, or deciding not to have one. :-)
1 person likes this
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
10 Jun 11
@ Angelee: I believe that you are making the right choice, by giving the right to choose, and if they do ask at an early age Who God is then there is really no better answer than for them to really find out for themselves. The question really is, what if they ask you Why you don't believe in God?
@granite_butterfly (448)
• Canada
9 Jun 11
If your children ask you about God, give them the facts as you know them. Perhaps explain, in age appropriate terms, that God is a religious entity that some people believe in. Take the opportunity to tell your children about your beliefs and expose them to different religious cultures so that they can evolve their own unique beliefs. Not an easy question. Best of luck.
@Angelee_27 (3460)
• United States
9 Jun 11
Wow, thank you!
You understood my discussion completely, and gave a great response that I was hoping for. :-)
Now I am not so confused... great advice! :D
@bird123 (10658)
• United States
10 Jun 11
Tell your children, God created everything. Tell your children God doesn't belong to any religion. Tell your children to search their souls for deep down we all know God. God does exist but don't worry. Believing has never been important to God. Look around you. God's actions can be seen. When you figure out how and why things add up, you will start to understand how God really thinks. This might open doors by which you can discover God for yourself. Oh, don't forget!!!! Lots of hugs for those kids!!! Children make life grand. After all, that's why God really created all of us.
@jazel_juan (15745)
• Philippines
10 Jun 11
But then it would be hard on her part bird because in the first place she does ont believe in God... how can she say that God exists in everything when in fact she also does not believe in that in the first place..it would be now confusing for both of them
@Angelee_27 (3460)
• United States
10 Jun 11
I agree jazel_juan... :(
@bird123, I really appreciate your response, and you taking the time to write it. However, it is not exactly what I am looking for. Perhaps you didn't fully understand my discussion, but that is okay. I appreciate in anyway. :D
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
10 Jun 11
I do not talk to other peoples children about god. When my children ask me questions about god I tell them what the beliefs are about god. I myself feel there is some higher power I just dont know what it is and I dont believe specifically that jesus christ did everything that was said in the bible. I feel like a hypocrite teaching my kids about god when I'm not even sure what I believe in. With me I teach them what I know just as if I knew budism and they asked me about it I would teach them about that to. It wouldnt mean I believed in it.. it just means that I am telling them what I know about the beliefs. Someday when my kids are older they will question me if I believe in god or not and then I will have to explain things to them a step further and tell them it is their choice what they want to believe. I dont want them not to believe in god just because I dont you know. Good luck. I would just talk to your family and tell them that you do not want them talking about religion around them that they need to leave that stuff up to you and your children.
@_sketch_ (5742)
• United States
10 Jun 11
You should tell them just that. Tell them that people have various beliefs and while you do not believe in God, many people do. Let them know that it is okay to believe whatever they want because that doesn't determine if you are a good person or a bad one.
@jazel_juan (15745)
• Philippines
10 Jun 11
WOw this is even tough for me to answer not because i am a believer of God and i have Faith in Him, i do not know how to answer within your perspective on how you will tell you child. Maybe, you can just tell them a general answer, that God is someone that other people believes in...and when she can already understand you and how things work then maybe she can explore it on her own...
@Angelee_27 (3460)
• United States
10 Jun 11
That is okay... I understand. It is definitely not easy to answer... especially for someone who does believe in God. :-)
I appreciate your response though, and I agree! I think the best thing for me to do is give a general answer like you suggested. :-)
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
10 Jun 11
Hi Angelee_27,
Yes, I do believe in GOD. But I don't want to talk about religions. It will just kill most of us. LOL. I don't want to force my "GOD" to others too.
Well, if your children should ask, and you seem to have no answers, as you don't know Him, then allow them to ask of it from your parents or your fiances' family for that matter. I'm sure they'd be glad to share about it. And it's not our job to really introduce GOD the whole thing of HIM to others, we just have to share our experience with Him. And it's the work of His Spirit (I don't intend to convince you with this though) that would change a persons perspective.
This is just a very kind and polite post for believers. A pleasure to respond to this kind of post. Hope I make some sense in here.
@Angelee_27 (3460)
• United States
10 Jun 11
Thank you chuyins123,
I appreciate your response. I am happy that you do not what to force your "God" onto others... and I feel that is not right.
There are many people in this world, with many different "Gods". In my opinion, it is extremely disrespectful to try to force your religion, on someone else with a different religion, or none at all. For Example: It is not right to force the Christian God onto someone who believes in the Hindu God.
I thank you for being very respectful in your response. :-)
@jameygc (452)
• United States
10 Jun 11
That is a simple question. You can tell your child that God is the one who made us. That the same way a man build a house or make a cars, machines, etc. God was the one who made us, and the animals and flowers, etc. And that is the reason we have to love him.
With this explanation you are being neutral and you are not trying to put ideas of any kind of religion in your child mind. But at the same time you are giving a base of knowledge to them. If they want to know more about or whatever they want is up to them. I think this is a good answer.
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
9 Jun 11
Just started to prepare for this talk from small.Mche think this will affect them in any way.The more you tell them sooner the better.For a truth as earlier understand more easily live with it.
Have a nice day!
@meena14sr (1)
• India
10 Jun 11
Hi Angelee, God is no one who is help us when we are really in need. I see god as my friends when they help me when I am in trouble and I see god as my would be when he does anything to me...People who love others without any expectation, they are god..
When your children ask you anything, tell them as god who you loved much and tell about your goodness.
They will realise when they grown up and experience the world...
