How are you going to deal with a woman who flirts with your husband?

sorry to butt in but I felt I had to give my perspective from a man's point of view, when someone flirts with your husband or boyfriend, I really hate to say this but it should be viewed as a compliment , I mean your partner has something that is desired by other women considering the fact that he is already married, engaged or whatever. This is where trust comes in, trust yourself and trust your partner, this is also where your husband's trustworthiness is put to the test, how he will handle the temptation, now this is where love for wife and family comes in plus open communication. As 3honor has stated, a mistress is a different thing from a flirting woman and hope there is no hidden agenda, it's completely different, love yourself and show him why he is making a mistake for taking a mistress in the first place. Good luck and hope all is well

Quite simply, flirting is only successful when the other party responds to it. Marriages are not wrecked simply because a woman flirted with someone's husband. Marriages are wrecked because the husband responded to, encouraged or participated in the flirting. There is a huge stigma about "the other woman"... "the homewrecker"... and while I don't question that extra-marital affairs are initiated by women AND men... it takes two to tango. It is unacceptable to say that men are "friendly" so that makes their behavior ok - but a woman doing the same thing is not ok. I find flirting in the presence of someone's partner is incredibly rude and disrespectful. A problem arises, though, when people cannot determine the difference between a friendly, platonic conversation and flirting.

I do agree with what you say. It's indeed something that I am most sensitive about, most especially that my partner is far from me because of work. For sure there would be flirts around him, and I will not have the total means of knowing about them. However, when he does mention names of colleagues and women a lot, I always remind him that he shouldn't cross the line of friendship and not create a bond. He usually laughs at me about this 'bond' talk because he will deny and will always tell me that there's nothing going on. But I would always insist that there will be nothing if he will steer clear of the woman, steer clear in the sense that he will avoid talking to her or even discussing anything with her. I do think he yields to this one because of our sensitive past. Anyhow, if I were to spot someone who's obviously trying to flirt with my man, I would probably talk to him about it first and then confront the woman. I am not afraid of confronting people to make them know I exist. However, I know there are those people who thrive for the feeling of winning against me. I know it's tough to be a partner and I guess I'm just going to do about everything to keep the relationship, if I have done my part and still something happens, then at least I could well say 'I did what I had to do'. I'm just sad for these women. Actually, I blame them more than the men. Don't get me wrong, I think the men are also to be blamed but these women should keep their legs closed to married men. They should avoid establishing a relationship (even friendship) with married men. I have experienced this before, my line of work gives me a chance to work with married men, and they do try to flirt and such. In order to keep the peace (because I know I wouldn't like it if I were their wife), I would never stay in one room alone with a man. I always want other people's company. If ever there was no chance of me to get other people in, I would usually talk about my partner, or his wife, to make him understand that I am loyal. There have been advances, but I always make sure that I was not playing with fire. I just hope that women out there would respect the same space that I respect these people's partners. Thank you for the topic. Though it reminded me of painful pasts, it helps to be reminded that complacency always calls for trouble. Have a great MyLot experience!

Dear Ms. Bingskee A Lady only discussion. No worries. I can be the first "man" here among so many ladies Seriously, I have only my wife to love and flirt with. There is no need or space for another. I love her so much. Yes, I have put some responses at my GFs (hardworkinggurl) that might seem like I am flirting out with her to many others, but hey, there is nothing like that and she is a great friend who is aware. Even my wife knows the only limited set of ladies I know (in real life and also virtual world) and trusts me that I do not have any thoughts of flirting with anyone. And if someone trusts me so much, I cannot go beyond that trust even if she was not my wife or girlfriend.

I experience that but not exactly the same. There's a friend of mine on my college days who is flirting my boyfriend. Were classmates and be friends on the early days and she is his friend too. But when I've noticed that she is in love with my partner what I did is to tell what she is doing straight on her face. I have red her messages in the Friendster account and i sent it back to her. Telling her that I know what she is doing. After several months we broke up and when when my boyfriend talk about our relationship he showed me her text messages. I know he really don't like her and I'm so lucky about that. Tell to your partner what you have noticed and know about them. Try to avoid him talking and seeing this flirt girl. Then your partner will be responsible enough. Fight for your love, marriage and family. Tell him what would be the effect if that would happen. And don't forget God's help! Good day! God bless!

very well said! my hubby, since day 1 of our relationship, and before we got married, was reminded (c/o yours truly) of this simple rule: "you know,I am super easy to deal with. if you don't love me anymore and want me to give you an annulment, then go on and have an affair. i will not go after you. nor look back on our relationship. but i get the kids and you will never hear from us EVER. I dislike cheaters, womanizers, and queridas.

bingskee, Really? I almost fell off my chair reading your perceptions on flirting and I have to admit that if you are in my wife's position then I will be in a world of trouble now. First of all, let me just try to set the record straight that flirting does not wreck a family. Clean flirting is really about complimenting and bringing out the best from each one of us. It brings about healthy and smooth working relationships. I do not know how you would exactly pick out a home wrecker but I hope it is not some open compliments, conversation preference or even an invitation to waltz on the floor during a company function. Honestly, I am sure you can recall some pleasant memories when you were complimented for your dress or new hairstyle or handbag by your peers or male colleagues. Recall the positive aura it brings for you and the office or surrounding. I am sure that did not wreck any home and certainly any family. Right? I support your idea about being open and direct when something is bothering you because relationship is about being honest and mutual. I can understand about a woman's instinct about her man and his women colleagues and friends but I am sure there will need to have certain infringing criteria before sounding off. Or, you will just be deemed as a loose paranoia canon. As a man and a husband, I always believe in being exemplary with my conduct and ways both in and out of the house. To my wife, I am an open book about my work, travels, friends and working colleagues, so I rarely have any problems when I am with them - to the extent where my wife is absent. FYI, my wife is best of friends with my ex-girlfriends as well, I do not have secrets as far as my other relationships or friendships are concern. Likewise for her. A lot of times, my peers and staff would envy the level of freedom that I have in my wife's absence and they know that I am very downright straight and honest about flirting where it will end in the office or a social gathering. Never carrying on outside the doors of the premises that started. So it is really how men carry themselves and a lot of times it is the best reassurance a wife can have. There's a cynical saying in my ethnic circle which goes "Which cat does not eat fish?" where I am sure you might have heard it before and know its connotation(s) and let me proudly say what my wife's answer to that and I quote: "Well, my husband is not a cat, he is my man!"

For me i would not tolerate it I would said to my husband do you really want it to be in your life then you are the first to do it rather than other woman.

Hi bingskee Personally I would speak to my partner first and explain what I see and that he does not entertain it. If it continues and I do know the person I would also speak to her. If it continues and my partner has not put an end to it, my thinking is that perhaps I am not being respected as I deserve. I really do not see being able to control the other woman and her actions. There is no such thing as her succeeding alone as my partner would have had to contribute in other for her to have succeeded. Therefore, I being the one who needs to be respected am afraid to say that if he does not put an end to it then perhaps my thoughts about him are incorrect. It takes two and although there are some obsesses women/men who will continue to insist, I suppose that is another story. Therefore, my point being it is up to my partner to assure that he is not entertaining and giving me the respect I deserve.

if i had a hubby and i saw a woman flirting with him i would for sure ask him what was that. if he said that it was nothing i would just say for him dont get too close to her. its normal that we feel insecure sometimes. a guy can loves us but if appears a girl that starts to be too close.. it can be a bit dangerous. so we should defend what is ours like people say ahah^^ i agree that we girls should always talk with our hubby or bf and say what we are thinking :)

hi bingskee, If I have a relationship to anyone right now and I am on that situation I will talk to my bf first and give him a warning that I sense something on that girl so she must avoid her. Communication is important to any relationship. happy mylotting

I believe that if the man next to you really respects you he would not easily stumble on such flirts. Yes, you need to make compromises in a relationship but not with this. If I cannot trust him so why I am with him? The problem is if the woman flirting with my husband was a friend of mine. Then she wouldn't be a friend anymore. I am a little extreme but I think that there is no middle ground in relationships. There is nothing like half family or half friends.