Money Matters are one of the biggest issues between Spouses?
By zandi458
@zandi458 (28102)
Malaysia
June 15, 2011 1:06pm CST
When income is high there not much of a problem. However that all changes when belts need to be tightened. Suddenly 'non-issues' and spending patterns of the spouse is questioned, arguments arise and sometimes it can get a little rowdy. Both want their way and when matters get out of hand one party storms off another shuts the door or go into a 'silent mode'. And when a woman is set on a silent mood, you better watch out, all hell breaks loose. 
That's usual start of the 'money war' and it can be quite hard on a relationship. Both are unhappy and feel that the other is wrong but matters are at a standstill because the issue is too sensitive to be discussed further. Well, it is fair assumption that tempers are hot and there is really no point to make it worst by discussing it further...for the moment. However it still needs to be ironed out after the cooling off period otherwise the verbal wounds inflicted would harm the relationship.
Does money matters become the grounds for arguments in your relationship? I always believe that women can play their roles by not being too materialistic but to accept the situation they are in.
That's usual start of the 'money war' and it can be quite hard on a relationship. Both are unhappy and feel that the other is wrong but matters are at a standstill because the issue is too sensitive to be discussed further. Well, it is fair assumption that tempers are hot and there is really no point to make it worst by discussing it further...for the moment. However it still needs to be ironed out after the cooling off period otherwise the verbal wounds inflicted would harm the relationship.
Does money matters become the grounds for arguments in your relationship? I always believe that women can play their roles by not being too materialistic but to accept the situation they are in.2 people like this
17 responses
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
16 Jun 11
Hello my friend zandi458 Ji,
I know that it mostly happens in a normal LOw/Medium income group familoies. I would not hesitate to reveal that my hubby some small amount in the very first night of our meeting, and till today , I have not understood his act of borrowing from me. But our 42 nd year running, we never ran short of money, as we always planned and squeezed our legs inside the bed-sheet size. may be that I could not take my children to outing, every time they asked, may be that we had to clean and press their dresses every night before we went to bed. May be that we did not have maid for longer duration and never had experience of flyiong during our prime time. If anyone applies budgeting rule, one will never have. We have some arguments and do retire to silent room but not on account of finacial. I had always been a house wife and my hubby kept me off from money problems. Today, we have lot of money as our desires and wants are limited ones. Just try it. Thanks.
May God bless You and have a great time.
2 people like this
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
20 Jun 11
Hello my friend zandi458 Ji,
So nice of you for your immediate and prompt positive coments. A well planned life having all factors will be enjoyable at all stages. My hubby and our elder son are well covered by Govt. rules and benifits, when our second son joined Corporate sector 14 yrs back, my hubby advised him and todasy he finds lot of money. We all have tyo plan and basic thing is to remain within our bed-sheet. Everyone can nebver get, what one desires. One will get according to one's ability. Controlling is good factor. But let's not become misor. Thanks.
May God bless You and have a great time.
@myfb2009 (8296)
• Malaysia
16 Jun 11
Hi Zandi, yes money can ruined a relationship. One of my friends, divorced her husband because of un-resolved money matters. As for me, we do argue when my hubby spend too much on modern gadget. But after some discussions, we are able to settle down peacefully. We think that it is not logic to end our relationship because of money. Am i right?
2 people like this
@alottodo (3056)
• Australia
16 Jun 11
Whether love is strong or not I tend to think that money is the mayor issue couples have to face after the honey moon! reality then comes real[ we are not having a tea party any more] this is real life! and yes money matters can become an issue between partners and can lead to a divorce in the long run. Now when it comes to the silent mood? I may be one of the best! but I will post a discussion about that one.
1 person likes this
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
16 Jun 11
though it is inevitable that money problems will come along in the relationship, it should not become an issue. my partner and i had agreed that we must not fight over money, and that maybe is the secret why we remain best friends and lovers still.
1 person likes this
@miadsoriano (884)
• Philippines
17 Jun 11
I will admit that money is an issue between my husband and I sometimes. But it's not something that will break our relationship. I'm very lucky that my husband is a very supportive and understanding man who doesn't give in to my moods and immature tendencies at times. A man of action, he tends to the problem at hand. I on the other hand, have long accepted the fact that I can't spend money the way I used to when I was still single and cared only of myself.
1 person likes this
@peavey (16936)
• United States
15 Jun 11
I'm not sure that's the way it usually starts, but the statistics say that money is one of the top reasons for divorce. I don't think it matters how much one makes as much as it matters how much a couple agrees on how to spend it. If you have a hundred thousand dollars free, you still have to decide whether to take a vacation with it or to invest it, same as if you only had one thousand.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
15 Jun 11
Arguments arise because couples have different opinions, values and priorities. They can't agree on the proper usage of the money as one think he wants to save for rainy days while the other think life is too short so need to take vacations. They just can't compromise. 
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
17 Jun 11
It is True that money can be a big concern for most relationships and marriage these days, and many times have even caused divorce as well. Often times in this rough economy you are not guaranteed that job without a pay cut for sure. I just feel that many times you need to learn how to be Happy with no matter what you have, and in reality is really through God a person has what they do. When people learn to trust in god more things are better for sure.
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
16 Jun 11
Why is it the women who need to be less materialistic? I think an answer to being materialistic is to go get a better job, so that you can afford the material things that you want. Same with men who want things. Most of the jewlery I wear, I bought myself, for example.
I know plenty of materialistic men too.
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (47119)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
16 Jun 11
In families, money issues can certainly be an issue that can cause tension, financial problems, relationship problems, and such. It's not always easy to handle money in a relationship. However, the reasons couples argue about money may vary from couple to couple. I would certainly say that the disagreements my husband and I have had about money are certainly quite different from those of his parents, for example. I would say that they start the same way.
1 person likes this
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
15 Jun 11
Hi zandsm
Money is money, sweeter than honey, brighter than the Sun, without money noshing can be done.
I agree and I disagree as well.
Agree,if you are planning to do some project what comes first is money. If you have the.
Now the money' role bargain he betel,
Now once married, the money thing is most likely to pop up between the husband and wife. This is more obvious if both husband and wife are job holders. At the slightest of bickering they go to the extent of divorce.
Another negative probability is that the wife being mere a housewife might feel lonely as times only. But this should not create any problem and the relation should be just the same as it was before before marriage.
This written in the Bible
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
16 Jun 11
Hi raj, our world today is all money talk. 'No money No Honey.' Husband and wife though both are bringing money home do not guarantee conflict free home. The popular phrase uttered by most working wives that can bring forth much disappointment to husbands is 'my money is mine your money is ours'.
@kawalnarang (1095)
• Trinidad And Tobago
15 Jun 11
Spending habits do not change,, only the one who works hard for the money, feels the pain and the tension.The problem starts mostly when the communication is not healthy.So never feel bad, many have similar situation.Cool it down,,
@shibham (16977)
• India
16 Jun 11
There are exception that i have seen in my family... my father was a primary teacher having a small income and my mom is a housewife... but they managed the family quiet skillfully without any misunderstanding... now i have learnt how to maintain a married life without money issue.
@Princelierocks (817)
• India
15 Jun 11
About 70% of the issue of the arguments between a married couple is always money but apart from that proper understanding and patience is also a key factor between man and women. We always have been hearing about the threads, arguments divorce, fights and many more this is all because of money, misunderstanding, anger and lust. Today in society all these evilness is been arising in men and women. The main issue of arguments depend upon the couple how they behave and what is their life style like for example if a woman is more fashionable or love to spend then probably she will always argue about money matter and so on, whereas if the issue is on understanding then there is a big problem between them as it can lead to divorce and such things. It is very necessary to have patience and have mutual understanding because if this is absent then the relationship is no longer. So concluding i would like to say is that apart from money matter the biggest issues between spouses is understanding and patience.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
16 Jun 11
No doubt the issue of understanding and patience does create a wall between couples but more often it is money that spark all the misunderstanding and impatience. The desire to keep up with the joneses is always haunting them and nagging from one partner is what hit the tension line high.
@ladybug565 (2216)
• United States
19 Jun 11
money and lack of communication. I think if you are living one way and then things need to change then someone needs to bring it up, I think alot of fights over money start because one person thinks you are a mind reader and they dont say anything untill they get angry about it.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
15 Jun 11
with my late deseased hubby, it never was a problem. we always had plenty. another reason i miss him. with the other marriages, the problem usually was that they were not making any of it. i was usually the one providing most and they were likely to drink it up
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
16 Jun 11
It is a blessing to be married to a well-off husband. When money is not an issue in the household, we radiate with happiness as everything is within our reach only by twisting our fingers. It is unfortunate when we have to be the breadwinner as a result of wrong choice of partner. But it is not the end of the world, as long as we are in the pink of health and can still work to make a living. Life can sometimes be very unfair.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
15 Jun 11
In families money is often the biggest hot button, there just never seems to be enough these days and each person has their own priorities when it comes to spending. A budget helps as long as both agree and each can see that their needs are being considered.
