what do you do if you think youve messed up.

United States
June 16, 2011 7:59am CST
Ok so recently i broke up with my girlfriend, we had been dating for 7 months, i didnt truelly feel in love with her like she said she did with me. But i met another girl that made me happy, so i broke it off with my girlfriend, and went after the other girl, im currently dating the girl now,, but inside i feel like ive messed up because of the good times i had with my past girlfriend. And even worse is she thinks i cheated on her and wont talk to me anymore.. i just dont know how to deal with the confusion,
1 person likes this
10 responses
@shrijsr (574)
• Bangalore, India
16 Jun 11
Hello deendeon, Sad that you are confused. I mean, you are not only confused about what to do now, but you seem to be very confused about whom you love, are you truly in love with the girl, irrespective of the first girl or the second girl. You say that you never really feel that you truly loved the first girl, then what was the point in getting into a commitment with that girl. you should have waited and thought until and unless you are sure that you truly love the girl. Now, after getting into a commitment you shouldn't have thought about any other girl, but considering the fact that you never truly fell in love with the other girl, its okay. But, here also you have not mentioned that you are truly in love with the second girl either. You just mentioned that you are happy. Happiness can be seen with friends too. Not necessarily your girl friend. All i have to tell you is, just sit back, take a break from all the girls and just think about whom you truly love and whom are you looking forward to be with for all your life because, if you fall in love with someone truly, then you will not even think about the other person in your life. Just think whom you love. When i say love, its true love. Think, you will get a girl as an answer. Choose that girl over the other. If you don't think any of the girl will make it or could make it to for you life time, then i think you haven't met your girl yet in your life. Wait for the right person. just in case, the first girl is your answer, then go back to her, explain her everything, just tell her that it was just a distraction and it was a test of our love and convince her and get her back in your life. remember not to hide anything. Just accept and apologize and confess her that she truly means something more to you. mmm, just in case, the second girl is your choice, then continue with her, but before that, get a chance to meet the first girl and just tell her that you never intended to cheat on her, it was just that you guys were not meant to be together and then, offer her to be friends with you, if she agrees well and good, else just let it go off! May be, he chapter is over in your life. Whatever it is, before deciding on anything, just think about what you have, what you want, how you truly feel about anyone. Don't play with the others feelings if you don't have it truly inside you. It may not bother you, but if the other person realizes that you are not true, it will surely break the heart and hurt the person. Make sure in whatever you do. All the best.. Cheers.. Hope you come out of your confusions and realize what and whom you truly want in your life.
• United States
16 Jun 11
you make a very good point,thats why i am taking it much slower with this girl , im not saying it wont work in the long run but i never know, and im actually trying to pursue a career in music, im trying to start up a local band with my friends and see if i cant get somewhere with that, or at least gain experience in what i really want to do with my life.
@shrijsr (574)
• Bangalore, India
16 Jun 11
that sounds great, so what are you waiting for! C'mon, start working on your dream career and focus on that. If this girl still make you feel the same, then go ahead with the girl too. I am sure by doing this, you will surely be successful with your dream as well as in life finding the right person. After all after being success in career, you need someone to share your joy and happiness and ofcourse your success with! Cheers!
• United States
16 Jun 11
Im gonna stick with that then. and haha cheers to you too!
1 person likes this
@tonanana (91)
• China
16 Jun 11
don't be so selfish....
• China
16 Jun 11
sorry for the vapory words.... I've experienced this before.... I think.....you'd better not to connect her.... your abandon,the loss of you,must makes her hurting. you are trying to get peace of mind and forgiveness.... but you'll never know, that is in the price of her tears and pains. don't be so cruel and selfish, be a man,and,let her go.
@zazen6 (169)
• Philippines
16 Jun 11
What you feel is the "punishment" of your action. Of course your past girlfriend will think that you cheated on her. I cannot blame you though considering that you found somebody who makes you happy. If you want to apologize to your past girlfriend but she won't listen to you, then let it be... hope that time will heal her pain and that she will receptive to you in the future. In the meantime, I hope that your new girl will continually make you happy.
• United States
16 Jun 11
i will let it be, and thank you:)
@potrish78 (742)
• Philippines
19 Jun 11
You know, I admire you for breaking it off with your ex-girlfriend first before you went after the other girl. It's better that way than deceiving your ex-girlfriend or worse, cheat on her. At this point, you've got nothing else to do but to let time heal her wounds. If you knew that you didn't cheat then save that for later to tell her when she's ready to talk to you again. But if you really want to resolve this situation at once. Try emailing her or better yet, why don't you just write her a letter. But let me remind you that telling her the truth would only aggravate the pain she's feeling right now. Best of luck!
• India
17 Jun 11
You did a mistake. Its a selfishness, if you feel that you didn't truly feel in love with her then why did you had relationship with for the past 7 months.. Now she feels that you cheated on her. It shows very clearly that she was in a true love with you. Its too late that you feel about your past girl friend. My suggestion is please be sincere & faithful for the girl now you have relationship with.
• United States
16 Jun 11
Everything always works out. Be strong and honest and you will win.
@nijolechu (1845)
• Canada
16 Jun 11
I think maybe you are just feeling a sense of regret at first because you have started this new relationship with a different girl. But there must be a good reason to why you broke it off with the first girl. Since the first girl doesn't really want you back then I would suggest that you just move on and forget about the past and just try to make things work with this new girl you have.
@GemmaR (8517)
16 Jun 11
First of all, you should never take any action whilst your feelings are still so raw, otherwise you might end up doing something based upon the emotion that you feel rather than based on what you should really do. When your feelings have calmed down a little, sit and have a think about what you really want. If you want this girl back then you need to be able to convince her that she can trust you, and that's going to take a lot of time and effort on your part. If you think that she is worth it then go for it, and try to convince her that you didn't cheat on her.
• Philippines
16 Jun 11
Well every girl when left behind and the reason was another girl.. she will feel as if she was cheated even she's not. If u think that u have a deeper feeling for this new girl, when you feel that you love more this new girl then go with it. Your past girlfriend will feel sad and won't talk to you coz she is still hurt.. but I believe that later on she will be used to this situation and move on..
@chiyosan (30196)
• Philippines
16 Jun 11
Everyone has somehow messed up at least once in their life. I do not think there is one person in this world that did not commit something that had somehow messed up something... A relationship... Or maybe a work... Or even loses money.. Etc. But we all have to get backup after a whirlwind situation... Right? Thay is how we should live our life anyway... Every time we are pushed down.. We just have to shrug and get back up even if we have to use all our might.