The Preseverence Bull$sh*t in A Marriage Life.

well ladymarissa, You don't tell other people that they're lack of experience just because I said, "we don't need to presevere". If you're good at presevering your marriage, by million means, please do and go ahead with it. You're taking this very personally and oh dear...nobody judges you.

Get over yourself!!! I am a widow, so I'm NOT in a marriage at this point so I'm only persevering life & I do NOT want out of it!!! 40 years ago I was in an abusive marriage & I may not have chosen what was "best" for me at the time; but I did choose what was "right" for me at the time!!! When leaving became the "safest" thing to do, I left. It seems to be soooo easy for somebody else to know what is the "right" thing for you to do...when they have NO clue what is the "safest" thing for you to do!!! I'm sorry if I offended you by being offended by your comment If there is suffering in marriage, learn to get out of it. I do NOT think it is "your" place to determine what somebody else needs to learn!!! It has been my experience that those who know exactly what you need to do, just haven't experienced the problem!!! Those who have experienced the problem ONLY offer advice!!!

Why would you lie to God??? It's obvious that you have NOT forgiven your Dad & it appears that you haven't forgiven your Mom for doing what she felt was best for her children!!! Allowing her children to be beaten does not sound like a good thing to you; but you have NOT considered that she kept you in a home with a roof & with food. Had she left him, she could have lost her children too!!! He had stolen her self-esteem & she didn't feel she could work & still take care of her children at the same time & she could NOT bear the thought of losing you too!!! Did you even consider the boyfriends or babysitters that could have come into & out of your life & the damage they might have done??? You have NO clue how different your life might have been & are ONLY assuming that it would have been better just like you're assuming your Mom was wrong!!! I'm SORRY you got caught up in your Mother's mistake. but it still doesn't mean that your experience is any more important that any abused spouse experience!!! YES, life is about learning; but you've ONLY learned half the story!!! Talk to your Mom & ask her why she did what she did...you might learn even MORE!!!!

Thanks kingparker, Man or woman who suffered their marriage, they just have to get out of it. Just that someone with the name LadyM.....was making a huge fuss about it.

True, Hatley, If we all have married sweethearts like yours, we all would have been having a happier life. Despite challenges you have faced and eventhough he have passed on, you still misses him. What is this mean? It means, he was a great husband and a father whom everyone would have adored. My heart goes out to you. I'm happy for you. Me too, I love my dad. Still do, eventhough he passed away due to liver cancer last year. Sometimes, whenever I drive to work, some images of him, I will have tears in my eyes. I learned to get over his temper and I truly forgiven him. When we forgive, we see other people's positive side. I saw my dad, has in fact, has a kind heart. He's in fact a caring person. Maybe dispute with my mom at that time, have made him temperamental and angry. I love both my parents. Losing both of them, will make me world empty. Thanks, Hatley.

I pitied those women who endures all the abusing (really my heart aches when i heard or watched in news) My experience is not an easy one. My kids gives me back my life,i got a job with decent salary and with my past,I am even thankful that I achieve more success now than before. Before I am satisfied being a full time housewife..now I proved something for myself...and above all...i love my freedom

hi jaiho. Phew~~ at least someone who is being understanding. I have seem women who have their nose bleeds, and bruises over their eyes and body and all in the name of MARRIAGE. Do you it's good to presevere in such marriage??? But, thanks. At least, you stood up as a mentally strong woman and who cherish your own life. I'm happy for you. The cheater is at loss!

Jaiho, I'm very proud of you. You have done women proud and your children adores you. I would love my own freedom too.

Hey babycatapillar, At such a tender age, you are smart to determine the right from wrong. I'm proud of you. It's rather a simple discussion and anybody could have read it CLEARLY. Nobody will want to stay in an abusive state of relationship. And if they do, fixed it or it will pass wrong "education" to the children. No need to suffer. Thanks for your support, dear. Thumbs up.

You're most welcome, tork55. HUGS- you're not alone

That man is rather a nonsense. Slept with other woman as a part of punishing wife for wrong behave? He should be punished for committing infidelity! What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. God loves you more. Look how strong you have become. :)

Thank you so much for your kind words! I agree though, I am stronger than ever! Infidelity should not be tolerated in a marriage! If you want someone else say something before going behind the other's back!

There are dozens of people out there who suffers the same fate and throughout this whole misery, they learnt that getting out of it is the only chance for living a happy life. Change is needed to make a difference.

Yeah, true. Regardless of male or female, whoever being abusive should not be together. I know some men who have been mentally abused by their wife, and the public didn't see it. If it happen continuously, learn to get out of it.

Yes,for the best of the children, parents staying together does play an important role in providing a family for them. What if,the parents cannot tolerate each other and the children have to witness the arguements and brutal attacks between the two adults? In fact,the words from the parents is sorry. Any children still can grow up with or without the parent's upbringing. Some people choose to stay for a broken marriage. So, to LadyM.... U better stop thinking that you have done alot and been through alot and others didnt.

hello friend, Commitment in a marriage, and the vow is a paper form of commitment. When both are no longer in good term, not even talking and always fighting at ends meet, there is no point living under the same roof anymore. Whats more if you have children from this kind of marriage and this should have known, who suffer the most. What else will contempt breed?? Adultery? sin? LOL We are all adults. We should have known the "truth" rather than lying to ourself. Whatever the marriage intepretation is, even the expert in marriage cannot have a single say when your heart know it's time to move on. No need to make marriage sounds like a gamble. In fact, it shouldn't. ;)

hi dear. So sorry to hear about the suffering your mum have been through. Your mum deserve better and to hell the man who beaten her and gave her miserable life. NO women on earth deserve such treatment. We can't change the person only ourself. The authority should have done something towards the helpless in the family. We, the women, do not have the strength of a man. But, we can be very strong with no fear when we found our independence and a way of handling the fear. Getting out of this kind of marriage is the only way to survive like human being.