Hit by a "smooth criminal"...Ouch!

@ellie26 (4139)
Malaysia
June 22, 2011 3:41am CST
Many believe that honesty is the best policy. But sometimes, being too honest in a relationship has it setbacks because the significant other may not be able to handle the truth. It would probably lead to break up and what might have been a potential good relationship would go wasted. My question is, do you tell everything about yourself, even your past to someone you have met and have a relationship with? And knowing very well, chances that they are the real deal, would you risk losing them by telling the truth about your marital status, your children, your past mistakes or your past relationships? How soon should one tells their boyfriend or girlfriend about their real identity? Or should it be kept a secret until there is a sure indication that wedding bells are about to be heard soon? How would you handle your lover's real identity i.e. married but separated with kids or he/she a player?
1 person likes this
2 responses
• Philippines
23 Jun 11
I would not hide anything from a person who has the potential to be someone important in my life. Hence, once we are in a serious relationship, I don't have to be stressed out in thinking if I should tell him this or that. I would be able to enjoy our blossoming relationship. Additionally, being upfront in who you are, who you were with, who yo were before you met would prevent this person from thinking that you deceived him from the very start. Trust is one of the foundation of a successful relationship. You can earn your partner's trust by simply being honest. You should not be worried if the person might end up not liking you once he knew your true self. If he really loves you and want to build a relationship with you, he will accept you, your past,present and future.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
22 Jun 11
hello ellie, I always prefer to tell the truth. If a person has to love and marry me,he has all the right to know about me and my previous marriage,my kids and everything. I am open to a new relationship,and i never had any relationship after my separation. So,if by chance someone would offer/proposed a marriage ,i will consider telling him all about me. If he won't accept me for who i am,that is better in that early stage than having another failure relationship again. Someone has to love someone with no condition...and accept someone for he/she is.. and honesty is always the best in every relationship. There is no use hiding anything...no secret can be kept forever. have a good day always