Childhood best friend Died and missing to be there at the end

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When I was growing up we had this wonderful cat. He would deal with us kids torturing him from putting him in our dolls dress up clothes and making him run around in em. And picking him up and squeeing him till he wiggles free. It still pains me even thou it's been years since he passed. But I loved that cat! He was my friend. If I wasn't feeling good he'd come sleep with me. If I needed a shoulder to cry on he was there. Anything we did to him he'd be there for us. His name was Baby. About 2 years ago now, which still seems fresh to the wound, Baby passed away. The last few months of his life I didn't get to be with him since I lived so many miles away from him. Before he got sick he was a Fat grumpy cat I'd say but happy in his own lazy way. He started losing weight which we figured since other cats were in the house he started losing it. In fact he was losing weight because he couldn't eat. He had a tumer in his throat. Which must of been hurting him. Finally my parents wheren't sure what was wrong so they took him in and that's what they told him. They said it'd cost about $800. to remove the tumer but that was no guarantees that it would fix the issue and that it wouldn't come back again. Parents couldn't see putting that much money into him. Since after all he was an 18 year old cat. About 4 months later I got to see him. All that was left on him was bones and skin. Or so it seemed. I told dad they have to let him go. It's not fair to see him suffer like that. I had to go back home and a week later cause he was straving he tried jumping on the stove to get some grease drippings. Since dad was sleeping he didnt' hear him. He got his nails stuck between the cease (where you pick up the top part so you can clean under the burners) he was stuck there for hours till mom came home and see him just dangling there. She thought he was dead. Ran to wake up my father he came and got him down. He was still alive but couldn't walk. My dad says that was the turning point. He had no strength to continue to fight to live. My dad knew it was time he had to say good bye. He put him int he cat carrier and went to the vet. And he walked away. He couldn't say good bye he left him there without a word. I wish I could of been there to comfort my dad and to say good bye to baby and bring him home and find a place for him for his final resting place. I think my dad regrets that a bit that he couldn't do that for him. As I tell you this I'm in tears. It hurt me a lot and I miss him a lot. It may have been two years ago but it still is a very fresh wound that will take years to heal.