Say, you were a rape victim....

Very true, purple. I could not imagine myself being in the situation. Just thinking about it makes me feel very vulnerable as a woman. In fact, I too might consider abortion than live with the stigma all my life. But that would appear to be my easy way out. It's just that I would understand why rape victims would come into the idea.

I'd probably love to do it myself!

Unfortunately, I know of several women that have had to face this situation, which is a sad indication of our world today. They each chose to handle the situation in a different way, and each had difficulty with the choice they made except one (that I know about anyway). Above I explained what happened when one of the women brought her attacker to justice. Another one kept the child and told him what happened to her when she thought that he was old enough to understand and handle it. She was very wrong. Her child was afraid that there was something in his DNA that was intrinsically evil, because he was created by a monster, and he was afraid that he would turn out to be evil, too. He needed counseling to try to help him get over these feelings, and I am not sure that he ever truly got past them. The only one that did not bear the scars of the attack was one little girl. Her mother was raped and told her boyfriend about the attack right away. They both went to counseling together, and when they found out she was pregnant they decided to keep the baby. The boyfriend married her and raised the child as his own, and they both vowed never to tell the little girl what really happened. They had other children as well, and all the children were treated equally, so the little girl never suspected anything.

I could understand why a woman in such situation would want to have the baby aborted, or given up for adoption. The perceived consequences are just too heavy. Yes, I may contemplate on moving away. But the predicament here is on how to explain to the child the truth. Or would I just invent some stories to reason out why she has no father?

Make sure that the child knows you two are a complete family, these days there are many single women with children. I would never use the word rape with my child, maybe say that you were in an unsafe place and the man thought you were there for him, but no matter what a misunderstanding it was you were the one who got the prize, a wonderful gift of a special child. When asked where Daddy is just say he went away never knowing what a special gift he had given you. You can add more details to this story as needed when the child grows older. In the teen age yars you may want to use the whole story as a lesson to be learned. blessings

I think that will be alright.

It is a very difficult situation. And just like most of the responders here, I too would not know what to do should this happen to me. It is a very very terrible thing to happen to anyone but it is reality.

Unfortunately, the truth always has a way of leaking out and I couldn't bear the thought of my child knowing it in such a harsh way.

i also realized that moving away means losing touch with my support system.Not a problem if they move along w/ you.

Sorry if I hit a certain mark, sswallace21. I hear you. I get stories of such nature all the time. People with no past, can't seem to move forward. I'm not just talking about children of rape. It's like a part of your identity has been robbed off from you. I would rather know that I have no father because he abandoned or something, rather than know the truth that I was borne out of rape. It's a very difficult situation to be in. I pray it never has to happen to my loved ones, or to me, or to anyone.