I'm to Blame

Accident - My daughter acting as if nothing bad had happened to her...
Philippines
July 3, 2011 10:03pm CST
My daughter has suffered a freaking accident. Her skin got second degree burn because of my negligence. I made myself a coffee that day, went to the cr to pee. My daughter was playing with her sister. While inside the CR, my other daughter called up to me. I hurried up but it was late. I saw the hot liquid poured on my daughter's face! I know it was an accident but I couldn't help feeling guilty... I am to blame...I feel so terrible...
5 people like this
32 responses
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
4 Jul 11
Hi! Please do not feel guilty, as it is not going to help. The damage has already been done. You should take due care of her burn and give her proper treatment. Also, take this as a learning lesson for future that kids are not to be left unattended under any circumstances. Have a nice day!
• Philippines
20 Jul 11
Hello dear Deepak. How I have missed you! It has been ages so it seems that I have not 'talk' to you... I used to feel so much guilt of what had happened to my little Sam but now I am feeling more better. I have overcame the guilt and moving pretty well from that accident. Sam is also doing well and recovering so fast from such accident. Matter of fact, even her scars are hardly visible now. I'm positive that it will vanish real soon. Oh, do not scold me anymore, dear. I have learned my lessons the hard and painful way. Though, it wasn't deliberately done but still I couldn't find justification for the momentarily lapse of cautions. Never again... Thank you for your words, dear. I hope all is well with you, too.*hugs*
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
20 Jul 11
Hello dear eureka! You might have missed me or we might have missed each other because I was irregular here or say 'Missing in action' during the last few weeks. It is heartening to hear that Sam is recovering and scars are vanishing. Hope repeat of this incident will not happen and you will ever remain cautious when she is around.
• Philippines
2 Aug 11
Yes, I can very well say that you have been missing in action here and in fb. . Well, whatever that's keeping your head and hands occupy, I hope you are well though.:-) I'm happy to share with you that the scars have almost faded, it is hardly noticeable by now. Seems the memory of such accident has been totally put at the back of our mind and it will be a part of a nightmare that we will soon learn to forget. I have moved on and gotten over it, dear. I'm very, very, very careful now.:-)
@_sketch_ (5742)
• United States
4 Jul 11
Ouch! Accidents happen, so don't be too hard on yourself. Now you and others will know in the future to put the coffee where it can't spill on anyone if you have to leave it unattended. Just a random thing I have heard, if you put flour on the burn immediately it is supposed to help cool it down and not blister. Some have sworn by it. Your daughter looks happy in the picture and it seems like it shouldn't leave a permanent scar, so that's good. What has the doctor said about it? Looks like someone has totally earned a trip to somewhere special. :)
1 person likes this
@_sketch_ (5742)
• United States
13 Jul 11
Oh I was just joking that since she got hurt, she aught to be taken to get some icecream or something like that, somewhere fun ya know?
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
Hello, Sketch. I'm happy to see you here and show your concern... Yes, we all learned our lessons through that accident. I, especially, became more watchful and alert to my daughter's every move. She is only one year old and super active that's why she is really prone to accident. I didn't know about the flour. My first reaction when I saw that the hot liquid poured over her face was to give her an immediate relief and to stop the scalding. Thus, I rushed her to the bathroom and bathe her immediately... Yes, she is doing all right now and thankfully the scars are not that deep and could vanish when she grows up. Doctor said not to worry.;-) Looks like someone has totally earned a trip to somewhere special. :)- I didn't get what you mean buy this, dear. Sorry, I'm a little bit slow.
• Philippines
1 Aug 11
Oh, I see what you mean now. Sorry, I was kinda slow to get that at first. Yes, i took her to one of her fave fastfoods when we went for her follow-up check up. We often eat out when were out so she got a treat of fries and ice cream , indeed. She is doing so well now. Scars almost faded.
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
4 Jul 11
awwww... my heart is in pain upon reading this, this is what i am ALWAYS careful, when i make a cup of coffee or boil water, i always make sure the kids are like meters away and when i leave it, i really put it in places where its beyond their reach..but like you have said, it is an accident but also a negligence on your part, just make sure you learned this time... hope she is ok now my friend, just hug her..
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
14 Jul 11
How is she my friend, such cases happen my friend. There was also a time where my daughter slipped and hit her head on the edge of a tile and it gave her a very deep cut that her skull bones showed. I was also in a shock and i rushed her to the hospital and she had some stitches. It was very painful for me to see her being stitched and she was like 4 years old that time. Though it was not my fault i could still have prevented it. take care
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
Hello, Jazel. Sorry if it took me this long before I can get back to you. Just busy playing my role. Oh! That's a scary thing to happen to a child... I'm glad none of my kids had experienced that, God forbids! That's what I thought, too. I coulda, shoulda, woulda have prevented it but still I haven't... Anyway, such accident is water under the bridge now and we are all have recovered from it. No one seem to remember or notice that it had ever occurred . My daughter is doing very well now and the scar leaves just a very faint mark, hopefully, it will forever disappear.
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
Sam and I - After the accident, she still loves me so much...
Hello, Jazel_juan. Lovely to see you here and post your comment. You are a mother and i know that your heart goes for my daughter. The devil played a dirty trick on me and my daughter . Good thing God is watching over us and He did not allow my daughter to suffer greater damage or else I wouldn't be able to forgive my self. I have learned my lessons. Painful and the hard way. She is doing great now. There are scars still left visible but in due time they will disappear, too because they aren't really that deep. Thank you, friend for the kind word.
@anil02 (24688)
• India
4 Jul 11
You are a mother a caring mother. So it is natural you are blaming your self although it is an accident. You cannot revert what happen, now you care your daughter till she ok. No benefit in blaming yourself.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Aug 11
Hi there again, Anilo. Thank you for your prayers. My daughter now is very well. She has recovered from that accident really fast and well. Thank you.
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
Thank you, Anilo. For once, i didn't feel that I am a good mum enough to keep my daughter safe. But, with the help of people like you who lifted up my down spirit, I am slowly recovering from the guilt feeling of what had happened to my daughter. Yes, you are right. I cannot take back something that already happened so I am moving on.
@anil02 (24688)
• India
14 Jul 11
Face the situation bravely, remember God help true people. I pray to god for speedy recovery.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
4 Jul 11
Oh sweetie. It's not your fault. Accidents happen, okay. Things will get better, eventually. You just have to believe that.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
Sam and I - She loves me still so much...
Hello, Saphy. I'm so happy to see you here after a very long time... Thank you, sweetie for making me feel better. It was an accident, of course, because I did not deliberately poured the coffee over my daughter's face but the sight of her scalded face makes me feel guilt stricken. Plus, my hubby blaming me didn't help... She is all right now, though. Such a strong child. An inspiration, dear. Thank you again, sweetie. I am uploading our photo sothat you'll get the picture of how ok she is now.
• Philippines
20 Jul 11
Hello, Saphy. Thank you so much, dear for standing and speaking up for me. Sigh... my husband is truly an emotionally incapable soul but I couldn't put all the blame on him. What happened scared the hell out of him, too. Well, he is taking a hike most of the time since he is assigned somewhere in the province twp hours away from our place here in the city. Anyways, Sam is doing very well and yup, she is becoming more beautiful each day.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
14 Jul 11
She will be just fine sweetie. As beautiful as ever, even more. Now tell that husband of yours to take a hike or i'll whip the hell out of him. Missed you. Be strong sweetie, life keeps us going.
@rhejans (191)
• Philippines
4 Jul 11
Hi eurekafemme, I know how does it feel especially to your child. Accident really happened but we can avoid to it. We should learned from it and never let this terrible things happened again. We as a parent is the responsible one to take care of our child. We should not let left them alone especially in a very young age like your daughter. I hope she will get well soon. Have your daughter already consulted to a doctor? She might need some medical attention as what i have notice to her picture. Especially her right eye and her skin. She might need a dermatologies to help remove scars to her. I hope everything will be fine to your daughter. In addition to, I was just worried to your daughter picture. I think this is should not be seen to anyone as she is in minor age. What do you think? I guess it is not allowed. Correct me if I'm wrong. I'm Just worried to you and your child. God Bless Get well her soon
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Jul 11
hi eurekafemme she really did get great care and is healed with no scars. a beautiful little girl.
• Philippines
5 Jul 11
@ Hatley: Hello, dear. LOve to see you here. My daughter was lucky that she didn't get deep wounds though she got second degree burns in some parts. However, it took two days before she was treated properly because the first hospital that I ran to didn't do much except gave her a first aid. Her eye was badly swollen and scalded not to mention that the dermis was already bleeding because the opthalmologist forced to open her eye. But the h*** with him because he didn't prescribe anything to give it a first aid. Good thing we transferred to a more efficient hospital.... Thanks , dear. She is one tough angel.
• Philippines
4 Jul 11
It's okay, it was an accident. Rather than blaming yourself for what happened, face what's ahead and focus on the healing of your daughter. It's a good thing that nothing worse happened to her. Just remember next time to keep things around the house safe from their reach.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Jul 11
Hello, Moonchild.... I am slowly moving on from that accident, all of us... I have learned my lessons already. sadly, it is the hard and painful way, but I'm not taking chances again , I am always wary of my actions... It was a traumatic experience for me and my daughter... She has recuperated now and back to her usual self as if nothing happened to her. I am thanking God for that..
1 person likes this
@Rainegurl (2156)
• Philippines
4 Jul 11
Glad to know your baby is doing okay now. As parents, we do have lapses. We do commit a little negligence here and there. But what is important is that we love our kids and we want the best for them. Get over your feeling of guilt because I can tell you are not a bad parent. Your daughter is okay and she looks happy and fully recovered. Take care
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Jul 11
Hello, Rainegurl... There is no question that I love my daughter or my kids so much. But what happened made me realized that I can not always protect them from getting hurt. I am scared perhaps that I am not capable of truly taking care of my kids. I was traumatized because of what happened... Right now, I'm doing my best to get over with the guilt. It helps that my daufghter is recuperating fast and that she is back to her usual happy self. I thank God that nothing really bad happened to her eye, if so, I will never forgive myself... This experience taught me a very valuable lesson. With my daughter's age (1 year old) I need to be very watchful of her. Thank you for making me feel better, dear.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Jul 11
Well, your daughter needed you so it's kind of not your fault too. Sometimes parenting can be hard and confusing, that came from my mother, and you have to make the right choices everytime. Now I don't know exactly what it's like to be a parent because I'm still single but I know you know what I meant.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
Hello, Frontvisions. It is good to see you after such a long time. Your parent was right. Being a mum or a dad isn't a joke. It feels like you are being entrusted of the whole world of which no matter what state of mind or being you are you just can;t say 'no'. But , of course, it also has its perks. Yes, I know exactly what you mean and you will also discover it when you became a parent.
• Philippines
14 Jul 11
I sure expect to learn how it feels when I get there.
@knicnax (2233)
• Philippines
4 Jul 11
Good to hear that she's starting to be okay. At least the scars wont last as her skin is still very young. But that was a traumatic experience, also proof of how delicate the skin of kids are. Second degree burns?? I hope she's not traumatized by mugs, coffee, or any hot drink. It's a natural tendency for parents to blame themselves, but don't blame yourself to the point that you'll feel like your an incompetent parent. Kids will hurt themselves over and over and over again. DOn't be too hard on yourself :)
• Philippines
4 Jul 11
Hi there, Knicnax... It is my consolation that she is still a baby and that the damage to her skin is not that serious... I praise God for that... She is traumatized by the accident. Whenever she sees the mug, she would grimace as if she just got herself burned. Plus, she knows what the word 'hot' means... I am also starting to get over with the guilt. With the help of some friends, I am slowly pulling my wits together again as a mum. However, when someone asks what happened to her, I couldn't help getting that awkward feeling again... I'm hoping it will come to pass soon... Thank you...
1 person likes this
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
4 Jul 11
Thanks friend for sharing your baby second photo on which she is feel better and your child smile is so good. Dont worry friend and not feel bad and dont blame yourself. Now everything is ok so left it. But next time take care and dont leave alone to your baby. Because you knows better child care is must till they not start talking or at least 7 to 8 years.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
Hi there, Surekharathi. I had to post all the photos to make myself feel better because after posting the very first one included in the topic being discussed, I couldn't bear the fact that I'll be tormenting my respondents with such haunting image of my daughter. I felt that I have to somehow assure you that she is doing well and recuperating fast... I have learned my lessons . I am even more watchful over her and her sister. I don't want another accident to occur...
4 Jul 11
I'm glad to see your little one is healing nicely. Yes, it was a poor decision to leave your coffee un-supervised within reach of a young child but what's done is done. Don't beat yourself up over it, your daughter seems to be fine now and I'm sure you have learned a very important lesson and something like this will never happen again.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Jul 11
Hi, Makingcents... THe devil tricked me on that day. It was the first time that I put my cup on the table because I always put my cup on the counter top which is a lot higher than our table and there's no chair which my daughter could use to reach the cup... My daughter climbed up to one of the dining chairs that's why she was able to reach the cup. But, yes, I have learned a very important lesson and I am not taking chances anymore. She is doing all right now. Back to her usual happy self . I praise and thank God for it... Thank you...:-)
1 person likes this
@vangie26 (445)
• Philippines
4 Jul 11
As parents with a toddler, we must be extra careful always. Those things could have been prevented if we are cautious on the things that our kids are dong. With her age, she's already conscious on things around her. There's a lesson to learn from that situation but of course, you should understand, especially people around you that you didn't intend it to happen so stop blaming yourself. Good thing that your daughter is still a toddler that her skin will still recover unlike if it happened like she's 12 or 13, so hard to remove the scar. Let go of what happened, released yourself from blaming and just continue taking care of your kids. No mom would like that to happen with their own daughter. So take it from experience. Things dangerous to them should be kept out of reach. God bless :-)
• Philippines
4 Jul 11
Hello, Vangie... I am always cautious and wary of their safety. But I didn't know what has gotten onto me that day that I put the coffee on the table which I don't usually do. Anyways, the damage has been done and there is no reason to justify my action of negligence... I am already starting to move on from that accident thought it has left me traumatized and my daughter perhaps but yup, I have learned my lessons. Right now, whenever I go, I'm taking them with me. Or whatever I do, I stop whenever they need my attention. I can live with the litters and the mess but not the sight of my daughter or kids suffering from pain... God bless you, too.
1 person likes this
@brannray (132)
• United States
4 Jul 11
The most important thing is that she's okay! As parents, we do blame ourselves anytime our kids do get injured at home. But, most the time there isn't anything we can do. Kids are going to get hurt, we can't be over top of them 24/7. Even if we could, somehow I'm sure something would happen. With kids, it's difficult because they are so curious about everything that's it's difficult to keep them away from danger. Anyway though, I hate to hear she got burnt but try not to beat yourself up about it. Like I said, accidents happen and the most imprtant thing is that she's okay! =)
• Philippines
4 Jul 11
Hello, Branny... Yes, it was an accident but there was no amount of reasons to justify my actions. If only I had been this and that... But it was too late for that now... I was so wary about her falling down since she is starting to really get restless and tries to climb up anything she can grab her little toes with but I did not anticipate that she'll end up having burnt skin instead... I'm moving on from that accident, dear. My daughter is in full throttle again so at least I can breathe now... Thank you so much for bearing with me and trying to comfort me...
1 person likes this
@xfahctor (14118)
• Lancaster, New Hampshire
4 Jul 11
You can blame yourself all you want if it makes you feel better. but other than not going to the bathroom, could you have prevented it? No? Ok then. Stop. I am guessing you are a relatively new parent. I say "new" from a likely different perspective. All my kids are grown. The youngest one is in college. There is always the tendency to blame yourself for anything when something goes wrong. But the fact of the matter is kids are going to suffer injuries and more often than not, there is not much you can do about it.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Jul 11
My daughter - How can I not blame myself for the accident when my daughter looked this way? I couldn't even bear to look at her with a face such as this....
Hello, xfahctor.:-) I thought I was being cautious enough to keep her from safe and harm but I believe it wasn't good enough... I feel so sad and what scared me the most then was the thought that the accident may cause her blindness... The eye was affected and I was so scared to hell, I can't forgive myself... You're lucky that your kids are seem grown ups already whom you don't need to always keep an eye on their every moves... I wish, the day will come that I don't have to worry about them so much...
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
4 Jul 11
eurekafemme, After reading all of the responses, comments and looking at the photos, I feel you should let the accident settle at the back of your mind. To be fair, accidents happen even when we are careful because of the unpredictable nature - they will just happen. You just need to be careful and not repeat the oversights involved. Take comfort that your daughter is really healing well and there's no effects like permanent scars. Just don't relentlessly put the blame entirely on yourself.
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
4 Jul 11
Bless your heart. I'm glad that she wasn't hurt more than she was and that she's healing.
1 person likes this
@jennyze (7029)
• Indonesia
4 Jul 11
I am so sorry to hear this. I hope your daughter will recover soon and hope that it will not affect her look nor leave a bad trauma. Accident does happen no matter how careful we are. Maybe we are guilty, but do not blame yourself so much cause if it meant to happen it will happen anyway.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Jul 11
hello eurekafemme, Happy to see you here again Don't blame yourself no one wants it to happen Just be thankful that she is doing fine now You can be more extra careful next time Sometimes accident occur unexpected Besides children are really playful ones most of the children who grew up met an accident I had so many before happy mylotting
• Philippines
4 Jul 11
Hello, Honey... It has been two weeks since that accident but still I couldn't help feeling guilty about it. Sometimes when I'm looking at my daughter I couldn't stop myself thinking how could I be so careless and stupid not to think of the consequence of my every action. I felt so unworthy as a mother. But, yes, I am thankful that God is so good to us that He did not allow her eye to be damage from such accident and that only small portion of her skin got burned... It also helped that my daughter is a very strong one. She never complained of the pains she felt , she was even the one who cheered me up whenever she saw me crying... She is special... THank you, honey...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Jul 11
I don't want to tell you that it's alright and don't blame yourself. As a mother we should always be watchful of our kids. There is no excuse of not having taken cared of your children. Yes, accidents to happen but you should have taken the utmost care for your children. Anyway, it's done. I hope that you learned your lesson.