Should i give my best friend a second chance?
By johncanoe
@johncanoe (13)
Belize
July 9, 2011 2:35pm CST
Its been a while since i last talked to my best friend, and i know she is dying inside to be my friend again... but i just can't trust her anymore... she told some very confidential information to 1 of my other friends who recently became close to her even though we be friends for over 8 years . its about something that happen between me and my boyfriend and that just pissed me the f*** off... this isn't the first time she told my business to someone else.. a time when she told her sister about something my mom told me and ask for no1 else to know, i told her casue i trusted her, it was very life treatening becuse my father was still in the family and he was a dangrous person and it involved him..
the next case is her mother, she is a kind person.. but sometimes the bad overshadows the good... i expected her to defend me against the mean comments that her mom always past towards me.. she appears to be joking but they are very hurtful comments... because of them i dedicated myself to loose weight and i did it, but she still finds wys to further insult me... anyways i dont give a s*** about that b**** because not speaking to her now is the best thing she has ever done for me yet!!!! she alwasy stood up for her kids aven though they are wrong!!! and personally i think that is not the right thing to do.
what made it worse is that my ex best friend twists the story about what happen to her mom so that it may appear that she looks like the victim to her mom (i guess cause she is afraid of her or something and who wouldn't be? the woman is as ignorant as a bull!!!) when me and my mom went to confront her about the situation cause things were really getting extreme, her mom yeld at me and called me names! and again my ex bst friend didn't defend me!!!! if it was a reverse situation, i would have told my mom to cool it! do u think any of my family members could talk about her and not hear my mouth??? NO WAY!!!
the thing is my mom told me about her family... they love to talk and gossip... but i tolsdmy mom no! she's not like that ! she's different... now look what happen and what all of this leads to .. hmmm
anyways after that confrontation, i never spoke to her. i can just imagine the mean horrible stuff her mom was telling her about me and what she shouldn't do .. during the whole confrontation the one mainly talking was her mom! she was the one argueing with me- a child! my mom barely said anything she was just there as support; after the me mom told me she was acting very immature. trust me if you were there u would have thought the same!!! ... i know she wants to be friends again cause she passed the message through one of my other friends to me... she said she would be the one to talk back to me ,, she just wanted to no if i was willing to talk to her and be friends again... i told him to tell her i am willing to talk to anyone,but i dont tink i can be friends with her again...
okay maybe i meant or or maybe not... fact is, when i'm upset i say alot of hurtful stuff... she always stare at me sinc we go to the same school, she still brings things for me event though i don't ask her to.. i just say thanks... she is just always there and that is irritating! (sigh) i have very deep trust issuses thats y it's so hard for me to go back and be friends again... my mom says i should just handle her the way my mom handles her mom, just dont tell her anything personal.. but that is so hard because she was my best friend!!!! AHHH!!! so now i must decide, should i give her a second chance? or just leave matters as it is if i believe its the best way....
2 people like this
8 responses
@fernandezmindoro (146)
• United States
10 Jul 11
--This might sound crazy, but continue to be friends with her. Just this this time be cautious about what you say or do around her or her family. I truly believe people make mistakes, no one is perfect. But instead of running completely away from the situation. Allow yourself to be the"LIGHT" meaning by YOUR example; it could possibly teach her what kind of friend she ought to be. So if you truly want to be friends with this girl. Go ahead and do so. But this time, show her what kind of friend you NEED.
Cause if you decide to let go. It will cause you to hold a grudge and I believe no one should be carrying around unwanted baggage like grudges. It's pointless and useless. So just be a kind, loving and trust worthy friend and show her the true meaning of friendship. Sorry if a lot is not making sense. It's just about my bed time for me. hehe :)
@fernandezmindoro (146)
• United States
10 Jul 11
**Oh and you don't have to be best friends, just friends! Baby steps into a BEST FRIEND relationship.
@DIVINEPURPOSE (62)
• United States
6 Aug 11
I agree,you guys can still be friends but I would not use the title best friends. Forgive her but dont forget it. What I mean when I say dont forget it, is learn from it. Be careful what you tell her, and the title "best friend" should be earned back. That title comes with a price and is not given freely. I think another good thing is to sit down and let her know how you feel. (in a nice way)
@Porkchopchop (324)
• Hong Kong
9 Jul 11
I regard the behaviour like exposing my secrets to somebody else without my permission as BETRAYAL.I can never forgive somebody who betrayed me before.
Just think seriously, you treated your friend very good in the past, you trusted her always, you told her everything and warned her not to tell anybody else, but she still neglected your warning, ignored your feelings and betrayed you.
Can you ensure that you will treat her like in the past after you forgive her? If not, I am sure he/she will betray you again someday.
You may, forgive her, but I do believe that she will not be your best friend anymore, you will not tell her any secrets, and the relationship between you guys will change. It may be good for you two to become very very "normal" friend again...Good Luck!
@johncanoe (13)
• Belize
10 Jul 11
exactly! and thats what i'm afraid of - she is the very emotional type of person so if i dont act the same way as i did in the past, she will talk to other people about me... mostly they are my friends so what ever she tells them, they tell me. they know i am trust worthy and wont say anything to her about what she told them so i dont say anything. but it still kills me inside somehow that she would talk to my own friends about me. wow, just think, they are more loyal to me than her... kinda sad and funny at the same time... :( :)
@sweetloveforeve (13107)
• Portugal
10 Jul 11
i think you should talk with your ex best friend and say to her that you didnt like her attitude. if she says sorry then you can give her a second chance. you can continue to trust her but if she breaks your trust again then dont talk with her anymore. everyone deserves a second chance but once the trust is broken more than two times then it just means that she isnt trustful. give her the second chance but if she does something wrong again then be away from her. you dont need a friend that is just careless.
@sanjay91422 (2725)
• India
10 Jul 11
Friend your post is very long to read from the top to bottom. Honestly I did not read it properly, but if it is about your best friend then I think that it is okay to give the second chance.
If I knew that I was your best friend then surely I can expect a second chance from you, so give the second chance but be alert this time. True friends are not found easily in this world.
@Jamie911 (104)
• Philippines
11 Jul 11
Just be friends again. if shes your best friend you should be able to tell wether he/she will keep your secret. i don't even give my best friend information i give to those of my regular friends because i just know the traits of my best friend i trust him of course and i know he trust me we don't need to share everything we just help each other. we know each other so much that we understand each negative traits and accepts it
@samafayla33 (1856)
• United States
9 Jul 11
Sometimes it's not good to be around someone who broke your heart, but then you need to make peace with yourself and her. Forgive her, but that doesn't mean you have to totally forget what she done because remembering the past forgives but keeps you from making the same mistakes again. You can carry on a casual conversation without making total friends with her. She'll have to prove herself to be a good friend again before you can trust her completely with information
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
9 Jul 11
Situations like this can be touchy. It seems that her mother has a lot of involvement in everything that happens in your relationship with your friend. I think it's up to the both of you to decide how your friendship is going to work out. If you decide to stay friends then she really has to understand that telling confidential info isn't cool or you just might have to not tell her things if it's hard for her to keep confidential information. I hope things can work out between the two of you but her mom has to stay out of it.
