You had my heart broken!!!
@ccarabuena (442)
Cebu, Philippines
July 12, 2011 1:59pm CST
I have been dating this guy for few years since 2003 and we were officially together last year before he left for abroad and eventually lasted and recently broke up last May this year 2011. I've been trying to forget this guy because he broke up with me in the first place... well it was a mutual decision though as we were fighting and it's not healthy relationship. I get jealous with her ex girlfriend as he keeps on chatting and reminiscing with their past stories and me being neglected and he claimed that he's not happy anymore which is the reason why we broke up.
Then I learned that her ex is getting married because she's pregnant with her current boyfriend which I think the reason why he broke up with me is because he want to win over that ex of him back but it's no longer possible. Now, here is me trying to get him back to me but he's ignoring me like I am not existing. It hurts like sh*t! I know that he's my life and my everything and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to be a good girlfriend, a wife and a mother for our children along the way but he's not giving me a chance to do so.
What makes it difficult to move on is that, we've been living in together for almost 2 years but it seems nothing to him. He even told her ex girlfriend that he never courted me nor say "I LOVE YOU"..but it was a lie!Saying I love you in text doesn't mean anything? That living in together is not considered that were into a relationship? That it was just a mere joke?
After all I've done for him, invested too much for everything like emotionally, physically and financially and still nothing? It was nothing as if we do not have any relationship at all? I almost kneel down to have him back!
What I have done to suffer this kind of pain?
What I need to do to forget him?
So unfortunate of me that I can't easily forget everything and start over again just like that.
1 person likes this
6 responses
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
13 Jul 11
Sorry and things are not going right for you at the moment.
It is very difficult to forget someone but try to devote more time to yourself and indulge in some other activities. Try to develop your hobbies, do yoga, meditation or even cook something you love. Get relaxed and take a step forward. Wish God has made someone special for you to love you and take care of you.
Viju
@ccarabuena (442)
• Cebu, Philippines
17 Jul 11
Yes, I am trying to keep myself busy. Actually, I enrolled in a Law School this semester to help myself forget him. But you know, it's still hard to just let go of it. Sigh! What should I do?
@ccarabuena (442)
• Cebu, Philippines
18 Jul 11
I just read your post and he's calling when I type these response to you. It's already 1 o'clock in the morning and he's still manage to call me. Yes, I did ignore the call and pretend that I'm already sleeping. And you are right, I am now trying to enjoy myself being single, no commitment until I find someone who will love me for real and it's also important that I also love him as much as I do with my ex. Just wondering why he's trying to communicate with me again even though he already ignore me.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
18 Jul 11
Hi,
I can understand that we can not forget someone easily. Please tell yourself that he is not the most important now at this stage. Try not to send him text or mails and ignore in case he comes across. Joining the studies is a great thing. Also try to develop some new friends so you can hang around on weekends. I am sure you will soon see a lot of changes within you. For a while be yourself and don't get committed. This will make you understand people around you and then decide on a new relationship. Take care and best wishes,
Viju
@braveheart07 (2601)
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
After reading your discussion, I really feel sorry that this situation is happening to you right now. It seems that he does not really love you at all. You have invested your love and even your life for him but everything was just nothing for him.
The sad thing about it is that he is still in love with his ex-girlfriend because he keeps on chatting and recalling the past memories of his relationship with his ex-girlfriend. I should say that he is really not deserving for you. He does not even care what you feel for him. The worst case scenario is that he denied that he courted you and said "I love you" to you.
I cannot believe that he can do that to you. For two years of living together with you, everything was just a mere joke for him.
Right now, I think you should start moving on with your life. It is hard to keep and stay in a relationship when the person whom you really love does not love you at all. Life is too short to keep yourself sad and upset with this guy who is not worth it for you.
I know this would be very difficult for you because it seems that you are still in love with him but I do not want you to feel that at the end despite of your love and faithfulness that you have showed to him, everything was just nothing because he is just taking you for granted.
I am sure with GOD's help and guidance, in the right and perfect time, you will still encounter a person who will really love you with all his heart; a person that will treat you with care, cherish you with all his heart, accepts you for who you are, love you unconditionally, and will make you feel that you are really important for him.
I just hope and pray that you will be able to overcome these challenges and trials that you are facing right now. GOD is really good and he will never leave you alone with this problem.
Take care ccarabuena and GOD bless.
@braveheart07 (2601)
• Philippines
17 Jul 11
You should follow the advice of your friends and loved ones around you. You are such a good person. The way you love a person is very true with faithfulness in your heart. Your boyfriend is in fact very lucky to have you and I am really jealous of him because he has found someone like you. But the way he treated you, I come to realize that you really deserve someone better than him.
Thank you so much for the best response. From my heart, I really appreciate it.
Take care always. May Christ shine in everything you do.
@ccarabuena (442)
• Cebu, Philippines
15 Jul 11
Hi braveheart07, you made me cry with your response and yes, he really taken me for granted and denied which really hurts me a lot 'til in my bones. I have been told with my friends around me before that he's not the right man for me but i didn't listen to them because I chose to follow my heart and now I'm in the middle of crisis and it's hard for me to get up and moved on. I can't help myself but to think about him and check his profile from time to time if there is any updates going on and so forth. What should I do?
@ccarabuena (442)
• Cebu, Philippines
17 Jul 11
Hi,it's me again! I've been resisting myself from texting him for 2 weeks now because of he keeps on ignoring me in facebook then, earlier today, when I was in in my meeting, my phone rang for quite awhile but I just ignore it because I was in the middle of the meeting so I didn't bother myself to check until the meeting's adjourn. And was surprised that it was him who's calling, so I then started texting him like 12 sent messages with 3 pages, telling him how I felt right now and asking him why he keeps on bothering me.
Why do you think he acted that way?
@wmraul (2552)
• Bucharest, Romania
12 Jul 11
Is a surprise, maybe, but trust me, life sucks. Big time.
Before all, let it go. Loose him. Get over, move on. World isn't end with him.
I know it hurts like hell, but that is the only way out.
Try to start with this "medicine" - open both links and listen while read the lyrics. Trust me, do so, and not only once.
song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUsCbvV9DYg
lyrics: http://www.elyrics.net/read/a/abba-lyrics/move-on-lyrics.html
@wmraul (2552)
• Bucharest, Romania
12 Jul 11
Or, maybe you want also some words from someone really good on saying things on nameswhen is about love: Joan Baez.
Well, same as above, listen and follow the lyrics.
Pay close attention up to the end, until the last verse.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crxc4Pt_Jc4&feature=related
http://www.joanbaez.com/Lyrics/lovesong2.html
@ccarabuena (442)
• Cebu, Philippines
12 Jul 11
Thank you so much, wmraul, I just opened the link and that helps!
I will post in my FB. Yes, it's freaking hard...
1 person likes this
@wmraul (2552)
• Bucharest, Romania
12 Jul 11
It's hard?
I know.
But after you get out and manage to leave behind, you will know how strong you are.
Pay attention, you are fighting the best of the best enemy: yourself. That is why I gave you the second link (Joan Baez) (care to understand the meaning from the end of song).
However, if you can deal to listen Abba, more than half of their songs are related: One of us, The winner takes it all, The day before you come, Name of the game and so on.
Being in love is great. But is a fragile state of mind and potential dangerous for karma.
You must sepparate thing: the nice warm feelings of love keep it memory and enjoy whenever is a chance.
Just loose the name, face and details of the jerk. Let it graciously go to hell and never remember.
@uzunova (75)
• Bulgaria
13 Jul 11
My friend was in almost the same situation.Her husband cheated on her,she discovered,forgived him.It happened again and they broke up.She was hurted a lot,naturally.And after two years,when she just started to recover he decided to come back to her.But only for two months,then disappeared again.Imagine how she feeled:hurted,frustrated,lost.So don`t have him back!
@ccarabuena (442)
• Cebu, Philippines
17 Jul 11
That's one of the things I'm afraid of. How can I be sure that my future husband will not cheat on me? I don't wanna invest myself into something that is unworthy with my love, patience, care and loyalty. Because when I love someone, I tend to give everything to make that person happy.
@katzar0712 (324)
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
i feel for you ccarabuena. :(
its really hard when you gave everything you got and the other person takes it for granted. and its even harder when you make yourself look like a fool begging for him to reciprocate your love but still nothing happens.
i have a close friend with the same situation, their relationship lasted for 7 years and broke up just recently because of some third [arty from the past. i wont say you're lucky because you only spent 2 years of agony compared to my friend who suffered for the last 7 years.
but here's the deal. if he doesn't respect you, its a good thing you're no longer with him. because he is not the best guy for you at all. someday, you will find a partner who will respect and love you more. because you love truly and sincerely.
@ccarabuena (442)
• Cebu, Philippines
16 Jul 11
Yes, it's certainly hard and I feel like I'm carrying the whole universe in me. I wish I'm brave enough to fight this loneliness I felt when I remember those times we laugh at together, arguing small things and cuddle each other and bam! it was nothing for him after all! =(
@keihimekawa (2009)
• Philippines
1 Aug 11
I hope you're feeling a bit better before you read this. My BF of 4yrs did the same thing to me. Everything's working out real well until the time came and he decided to start working part time. Our quality time for each other fell to almost none and he never replied to my text messages or calls. The only time he replied is when I sent him a message "I wish you would squeeze me in between your heavy schedule." He sent me a message, asking me what's wrong, I replied that I'm sad since we haven't talked nor met for like 2 months. He then replied with something like "I want to have a time off" and that made me go berserk. I know that something's wrong at that time.
He refused to meet me and refused to talk with me face-to-face. He gave all lame reasons on why he wanted to break up with me. He never gave a constant answer on why he did it though. When I asked him to meet me, I never thought of fixing things up. All I want to do is have closure so that we can part ways without too much hurt. He DID promised to pick me up so we can talk about it but he never came. I waited for 4 hours right after 7pm and he never came. When I told my friend about it, he told me to turn my YM on invisible mode, which I did. His name then suddenly popped up. He's hiding from me.
I even had this messages from his ex. Seems like they are meeting and sharing stories. She told me that he asked to get back with him. Currently, he's married with his office mate whom he got pregnant. He was 2-timing me and he got this girl pregnant.
It would take quite some time for you to move on. I mean, I'm with this guy for 4 years and when we broke up, it hurts like hell. Maybe the pain doubled in your case. You can do it. Time heals wounds but you should also toughen up. When I was in your situation, I REALLY kept myself busy. I joined in trips with people I don't know and made new friends. I'm still single now and as much as possible, I'm enjoying it. I know it's difficult but toughen up! I'm sure you can do it :D Take long trips alone and take some time for yourself :)
