This Made Me Sad...Even If You Don't Agree With It, Is That A Reason To Be Rude?

A verse excerpted from the Bible says "Judge not for ye shall not be judge". There are some people who are prejudiced. They act and speak as if they are the cleanest creature here on earth. I felt bad about your friend, worse she met a man like that. Personally, I don't consider dancing as bad like others may think. It is a decent job compared to those who rob, murder and even kidnap just to earn money. Too hard that when someone wants to get up, some just want to pull that someone down. The best thing you can do is to tell her that her encounter is one of the painstaking situations she have to face to get better. What's important is that, she's doing her very best to make something out of the situation. And by that, she have to continue her ways no matter what happens, no matter how many people hurt her and no matter how hard it is. She is the best mother of her child. Your friend is much lucky to have you, LovingMyBabies as her confidant and friend. Just continue supporting her, until she can valiantly stand alone against thousand of criticisms. That is what friends are for, right?

Sounds as if a bouncer should have pounded him on the head a few times before tossing his drunk a$$ out. I have seen several different sides to this. I worked in the bar industry for several years. There are some decent women out there doing what they have to do to make the money they need to support themselves and their children and there are some pure d bad person out there doing everything under the sun for that $. If your friend is not a bad person then what ever this sorry individual said about her should just roll off of her back. Sounds as if he is a jealous individual and very insecure himself.

Simple, he is an a$$hole! A self righteous a$$hole. The only way he can feel good about himself is to put others down. Tell your friend G-d knows how good she is. Her child knows too , You and I do too , Anyone else can take a flying F@ck at a rolling donut! She is working to better herself. And while she graduates college and goes on to be successful, that idiot will be at the same job , doing and saying the same stupid , mean things! Give her s hug and tell her I'm proud of her. It is hard to be a dancer , harder still to go to college. But to do both And be a mother too? That's being s super woman!

Hi Lovingmybabies I think the man was a lousy jerk. How dare he assume that all were slu##S and wh##es that is just horrible. the poor girl. I am glad you are her friend. No I could not do that and more power to her as shes just doing the best she can for her and her child. Why was the b.a.s.t.ar.d even there if he felt like that?

This is indeed sad no one has ever the right to do such thing to her especially if she turned her life around. Tell her that. Tell her to be proud of what has done for her child and for her life. Hug her, she needs a friend to reassure her and not to mind that person. She must put her head high.

Everyone who judges others wrongly must have insecurities of their own. How can we know things about another person's life without knowing them. God should be our only judge.

Ugh! People are soooooo darn self-righteous sometimes! I don't think anyone in today's day and age is above reproach. We all do or have done something that someone else is going to think is wrong, bad, immoral, in poor taste ... call it what you will. No one is perfect and we all make the decisions that we need to make in the moment. I don't understand for an instant why anyone thinks they have the right to call someone names, insult them, slander them, harass them, personally attack them... just because they do, say or believe something different. Sometimes, I just want to say "A woman is a dancer... so what?! How does that personally affect you in your day-to-day life?" "A gay couple wants to marry or have a child together... so what?! How does that personally affect you in your day-to-day life?" No one is coming into your house to impose something on you that you don't like or approve of... no one is dragging you by the teeth to a strip club so that you "have to" look at the men or women working there. That man your friend encountered has every right to his personal opinion, right or wrong, that any woman working as a dancer is a sl** or a who** - it's what he DID about that belief or how he chose to ACT upon it that is absolutely wrong.

Although you didn't say specifically, I assume she is a dancer at a club from the rest of this story. The guy was rude. Boorish, rude and obnoxious. Probably drunk ta boot, but he is most likely just as much of an a$$ when he is sober. That being said, your friend works at a club. It doesn't matter that she is a dancer, she works at a place where obnoxious men gather and drink. Bartenders deal with the same thing in some ways, as do wait staff and bouncers. She is likely going to have to develop a thicker skin if she wants to continue to work in a place where obnoxious guys gather and drink. Nature of the beast unfortunately. It doesn't mean she has to tolerate it. She should be able to get a bouncers attention, point to the obnoxious s.o.b. and have them assist him (air born) through the door. But the problem remains that she is going to occasionally run in to people like that if she is employed there, no matter what her job there is.

Evidently, by her reaction to the man's coments, she does have issues with the work she does. I think that if she has decided that this is the only way she can support her family and pay her way through school, she should come to terms with what the job entails. She needs to accept that this is not her chosen career and this does not define who she really is. Jerks are common in places like that, after all, it is probably the only place he can get close to women because of his attitude. He was probably rejected by one of the dancers and so needed to lash out. lol She needs to not take that jerk's comments personally since he really does not know who she really is and is generalizing according to his short comings. You should try to convince her to leave her job at the job and not bring it home. I think the acronym QTIP is appropriate in this case.

That man deserves to be kicked in his balls. He doesn't have the right to say that. People do things sometimes because they don't have any choice. It might be a dirty job to others but we can't judge people by merely what we see on the surface. I too may have that same impression but i would never blurt it out in public. I'll just keep it to myself. The person working there might have already lost their dignity and by saying that, it's like he's rubbing it in. What an insensitive ahole that guy is. Well, that kind of person probably doesn't have a brain and uses his d*ck to think.

That man should have not gone there in the first place. Though those girls may have a not so decent job, he is in no place to disrespect anyone. However, (please don't get mad) your friend must also realize that that is her job. It may be painful, but what can she do? That is her job, right? Look, if you are a call center agent and somebody told you shouting, "You're just a crap answering phones....blah blah blah!" The tone is bad but it's true and maybe you'll find nothing wrong with that. So, sorry for her that that is her job. But maybe she should try looking for a more decent job. Also, this may affect badly her child's growth. This may affect his/her emotionally and physically. When that child studies, it is not unexpected if his/her classmates would tease him/her because of his/her mother's job. There is nothing wrong in striving hard to provide for the needs of her family. But I would really suggest she try to find a more decent job though may be a little more low paying. IF she is hurt being called such, then she should not do work like that... honestly. Sorry if this might hurt you but this is reality. The world is reality.

I don't think it's right to go in there and say that to the dancers. People have no idea what kind of girls the dancers really are and just because they're dancers doesn't mean they're "loose". These dancers could be in tough situations and trying to make enough money to support themselves (like your friend). It's wrong to go in there and accuse them of something you really know nothing about. Yes, it can be seen as a job where girls can be a little loose with themselves but that doesn't mean everyone is the same exact way. Before this rude man came in and started judging the workers, he first should've known what kind of situations in a way, force girls to work there and to support themselves.

First of all, I salute your friend for getting a job, maintaining her honor and dignity in a job which is bound to be misunderstood, in order to support herself, her child, and her studies. Once she has other job opportunities, she should get out of this present job. Or she should try to become a talent scout or an impresario. I think Truman's advice that "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen" also applies aptly to her. She should just thicken her skin in the meantime. Was the person rude? I don't know. If he was, then he ought to have been strongly rebuked by your friend. I can even sympathize with her if she could not but slap the person. But is it possible that the person may have had some feelings for your friend, and that he was just expressing his exasperation, although in a very rude way? And how about your friend? Does she have some feelings too for the guy, that's why she was hurt deeply when the person she has some regard for did not even ask her the circumstances of her engaging in this work and her superhuman efforts to maintain her dignity and honor in such an environment and her dream of finishing her studies and getting another job? Rudeness hurts, but rudeness from people we love hurts deeply, although easily understood and also easily forgiven. But it can cause hysterics and rivers of tears, like what your friend shed. But I may be wrong, Friend LovingMyBabies.

I obviously was not there, but could he have been drinking?? That was the first thing that popped into my head while reading this. I really do not see any other explanation besides trying to be rude. People do that sometimes.

Your last question was the first one that came to my mind as I was reading this. Your friend does not sound cut out for this line of work and from what you say, it is clear that she is doing it for the money only. I actually think that a lot of them are in it for that reason. It's good money. To judge them that way and not knowing anything about them other than what they do for a living is wrong. Still, it is the nature of the game. Anyone in that type of work is going to get these negative comments even though they probably aren't true. Your friend needs to learn to ignore people like that. She KNOWS what she is and is not and so do those close to her and that is all that should matter.

I am sorry for your friend to gone through this thing. And I am also angry at the man for belting out those words. Come on God, I am just making a living. DOn't make my life harder:) Pray for your friend.

Aww that's was an awful thing to say,I think anyone who would think it's ok to say something hurtful like that while at the same time being in the place they are judging is hypocritical and that person has some serious issues themselves I think rudeness is unnecessary no matter what a persons opinion is on your friends occupation, my goodness name calling and cursing at someone and outing them, oh my that was wrong of that person to do that, sorry that your friend had to deal with that. People can be so cruel, but dealing with mean rude people is just a sad part of life, I guess your friends is gonna have to grow a thicker skin in her line of work.

wow that was really rude! Yes i was wondering that myself what was that guy doing there in the first place?just to cause trouble?It is good that your friend would do anything to protect her family even if it means working at a job that she hates doing.She shouldn't listen to that man because he's obviously just a rude guy looking to cause trouble.good luck to your friend.

Just after college, and a few years after I started working, me and a few office mates of mine actually befriended some dancers from a local club. At first we were just being boys, always trying to get in their pants, but after a while we actually realize that they were decent people. Yes there were dancers, and non-dancers in the club who were really slu** and whor**, but not all of them. I don't think this guy had the right to paint everybody with the same brush.

It seems to me that the man has his own unresolved issues with women. Possibly an ex-wife who cheated on him? Clearly, he is bitter and has nobody at home waiting for him or else he would not be there to see women dancing simply to criticize them. I also know a few different dancers. All of them have unique situations. One in particular loves the money. She has been doing it for years, in a reputable place, has two children and a husband, but she continues because she makes a really good income. I know a few others that are single moms and are just trying to earn money for their child. This profession is not for everybody, but it is nobody's place to judge what another individual chooses. Your friend should dismiss this man's comment. He is insignificant in her life. Just view him as a motivating tool to continue to work hard and make money to finish school and give her child a better life. It does not matter what anyone else thinks.