why does my girlfriend suspect me all the time?

Sri Lanka
July 19, 2011 2:32pm CST
i've always been cool with anything she does cause' i believe her. before she met me, she didn't talk with guys much. i told her not to be like that, they're also human so go talk to them. and i know that she's not misusing the freedom i've given to her. i seriously love her and sometimes she gets mad over silly things like seeing a facebook chat i've done with another girl. she has my password and i ain't worried or afraid since i know that i've never been unfaithful. one night, i was just outta my mind, and mistakenly i had put up a status saying "for a moment, i wished i was a muslim". meaning i could keep 4 or 7 wives or so. that was just a mistake i can't believe i did. and from then she's been suspecting me everything i do. i can't get rid of this and it hurts me to know she doesnt trust me at all. and no, this is not just a teenage love. this is something more than love for me. i've been with her for more than one year now, and she's the first and the last girl i asked out. her parents and my parents are also serious about it. today also i went to her place, gave her a cake, took her to the doctor for some reason. that's how close we are and luckily we don't have any other problem such as parents or distance. we have everything but it kills me when she suspects me when i talk to a girl. why?? WHYY? what am i supposed to do? please someone tell me.. i have no idea what to do. and just a while ago, she called me saying she wants to break up cause' though she's faithful to me, i'm not. i know she's gonna get back with me, that's not the problem, but i don't know when this suspicion would end.........
1 person likes this
11 responses
@pbbbsra (1214)
• Philippines
19 Jul 11
I believe u did nothing wrong. i also think that your girl should not be this jealous. a relatiomship should be give and take. it is a natural tendency of a girl to get jealous. like your girl i also get jealous when i see my man talking with somebody else on facebook. a relationship cant go on without trust but its also a matter of understanding to think aout the other feels...if u tell her how u feel when she behaves like that, then u could meet half way.listen to her then sk her to listen to you.tell her exactly what you have written here on hiw much you love her and how serious u are with her. good luck
• Sri Lanka
19 Jul 11
i've never lied to her! if you can believe me just do believe me, i've never lied to her. after i started loving her i loved her to an extent at which i couldn't even lie to her. and after a few months, i stopped lying to everyone else too. as in to everyone, every lie!! for the past whole year maybe i lied once or two to someone else. and that was also for her good, nothing else. i can't believe why she still doesn't trust me much. i know she does. but recently..... wait.. she now sends me a message saying she has fever, she has that monthly thingy, and she's got a phobia that i'd leave her. she says that's why she's like this and its just that she's afraid i'd leave her and she's afraid cause' she loves me. well.. i have no idea
• Sri Lanka
21 Jul 11
alright cool :) i'm gonna try everything i can. and thanks!
@pbbbsra (1214)
• Philippines
20 Jul 11
Be cool. I didn't tell anything like you lied to her or what. Alright, you never lied. Then, if she is like this, tell her how you feel also. It will not be fair for you if you are the only person who is listening within the relationship. I feel how you love her and she loves you too, it's a clear thing. Tell her if she is doing like this, she is hurting you. Tell her whenever she doesn't trust you for no reason, you can't breathe. Tell her she doesn't have to behave like this because you love her more than she ever know.
• United States
19 Jul 11
Has she ever threatened to break up with you before this? I believe that must girls who threaten to break up with someone over and over again don't really want to be in the relationship and maybe she was just waiting for a way to get out. Waiting for you to mess up somehow and since you are truly faithful she couldn't find anything wrong, so when you posted that on facebook she could have used it as a way to get out. I'm not saying that this is what happened, but it could be a possibility.
• Sri Lanka
21 Jul 11
yeah kind of.. but every time it happened both of us knew we're still gonna get back together. well, no i think it's the other way round, she wants to be in the relationship, i know she wants me much. but she simply points out, she doesn't wanna get hurt all the time. although i don't hurt her intentionally. it just happens like, now it's come to a situation where i feel like i'm doing a crime when i talk to a girl i know in a very friendly manner. she was never like this before. it just has happened very recently. and i'm trying to figure out what the reason could be. anyway, thanks for your comment :)
• United States
19 Jul 11
most*
@adhyz82 (36249)
• Indonesia
20 Jul 11
wow.... it`s hard...just simple question for you do you still love her??
• Sri Lanka
21 Jul 11
yes i do :)
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
21 Jul 11
Hi Galactuschad, I can feel she is more possesive on you rather than suspicious. She has a feeling of insecuredness, which she had it from childhood or more love. But I understand how much it hurts you back. Now its high time, you have to take this serious and make her feel confident about you. Spend time with her more and be cautious of what you talk or type. FB is problem nowadays and heard so much of your problem from my friends. Only your immense love in action can make her get rid of her problem now. You may have to miss your freedom a bit for the beautiful relationship.
• Sri Lanka
22 Jul 11
you're so right !! we spent half a day together today and she was telling me that what she has for me is something seriously more than love and she knows it. and she said that even she can't believe herself being this cautious about what i'm doing. she also apologized that it was even out of her control to suspect me like that, and that it's something she would never do with knowledge. the only reason we both can figure is that she loves me so much and i'm starting to realize it. you're so right i have no words to explain!
@Memnon (2170)
23 Jul 11
Perhaps your comment just caught her off guard and it has played on her mind. Perhaps friends or people that she works with have a different lifestyle. There is really little that you can do except be yourself, and hope that she sees things differently in a while. No amount of persuasion is likely to get her to think that you don't want multiple partners if she has that idea in her head; if anything, putting pressure on her is more likely to have a negative effect. It's easy for me to state these things at my side of the keyboard, but you have to let her work things out. Take care my friend.
• Sri Lanka
23 Jul 11
I agree!
@zax340 (86)
• India
20 Jul 11
She is suspecting coz she loves you and never want let you go away. She is so loyal and only to you and she expects the same from you. you talking to some other girl definitely is a cause of worry for her and only you can make her understand that its nothing wrong and you still love her.
• Sri Lanka
21 Jul 11
oh it just so eases me :) thanks for your comment i like to believe it
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
20 Jul 11
I think you have to talk to her and find out what her problem really is. I think that insecurity is a very small reason to cause a breakup unless there's a real reason to be insecure, so I think there's a bigger reason behind this. I hope you get to fix this issue soon. Good luck!
• Sri Lanka
21 Jul 11
you're right.. i'm gonna find this out whatsoever
@dodo19 (47038)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
20 Jul 11
I think that trust certainly is important in a relationship. Sometimes, it can be difficult to find within a relationship. Sometimes, it happens that people have a problem with insecurity. They will feel insecure. And I think that this may be a problem for your girlfriend. It does happen that people will this way, for different reasons. Whatever the reason, this problem that you have with your girlfriend should be discussed between the two of you. It may not be a bad idea to do so, in a calm and relaxed manner.
• Sri Lanka
21 Jul 11
yeah i agree. :)
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
19 Jul 11
Trust is one of the main ingredients for a lasting relationship. Without trust,the foundation will never become strong but slowly will weakened by doubts and fears. You need to talk with your girlfriend and tell her you loved her that much and that you want to marry her (if you are ready ) Maybe that will erase all her doubts and will trust you fully.
• Sri Lanka
19 Jul 11
she was never like this before. that's why it hurts me even more. i think she has some phobia, which makes her afraid that i'd leave her. believe me, i tell her everyday that i love her, and i exactly know that she knows i love her. sometimes when i accidentally log into her account, i go through her inbox and chat history and find out that she has told alotta people "yeah he loves me a lot". so what? what is this??? i don't understand what's happening.
• Philippines
19 Jul 11
yes some girls have some insecurity and they like that the attention will always focus to them, likewise they are afraid to lose there darling because of luck of trust to one another but if she trust her partner no need to suspect the partner why because you trust each other and peace of mind believing each other no need to worry cause of have confident to him or her,also the suspected attitude can be done only when the girl got jealous.
• Sri Lanka
21 Jul 11
true
@diala84 (138)
• United States
20 Jul 11
In my opinion one route that may help your situation is to be really open about when you see and what you talk about with your female friends. Scheduling time for her to meet some of your female friends like a party or pot luck and make the introductions may help smooth things over and make her feel like she knows that it is all innocent and she is really aware of how you know these women. Trust is important and if these gestures don't help calm her nerves about your relationship then there is something more than just jealousy. It may take some counseling on her part and maybe even together and maybe even breaking up if she can't get over this and be more trusting of you.
• Sri Lanka
21 Jul 11
you're right!! i remember those days i had that wicked intelligence to make her believe me.. i wonder how i lost it. maybe after we became concrete i didn't care much about it all. i get it all! damn