am i really a part of them?
By airasheila
@airasheila (5454)
Philippines
July 21, 2011 10:08pm CST
i really love my family. as my love and support for them never ceases. but, as the time goes by, i somehow feel exhausted. exhausted in the sense, that, many times, i cannot feel that they supported me. yes, they do always listen to my thoughts but only on that aspect, hence, they are just listening for the sake that they have listened to me.
for this reason, many times, i am thinking, am i really a part of this family. am i a legal daughter and a true siblings to my sisters and brother. a lot of questioning bothering to my mind.
just like my brother, i always make it a point to help him to the best of my ability. that i am always at his side whenever he needs help in terms of almost all aspects such as support financially, support to the decision that he has made, support for every idea that he has in mind and a lot more. and with that, i never expect him to return the same support that i am giving. but i am not saying, i dont need his support to me. as there are times, i need a helping hand to assist me in some of my errands. just like today, i need his assistance in bringing some foods to one of my client. everything was arranged the night before this day. but, only this morning, he told me that he cannot assist me anymore.
fellow mylotters, i almost feel crying when i heard it. why a sudden change of mind from him. and since, i dont want to have a further argument, i just keep my mouth shut. and keep away from him for a while because i dont know what would i feel - should i be feeling angry? i dont really know. this situation not only happened once, not only today, it is almost happening as always. due to this, the question in my mind keeps on bouncing - am i really a part of them?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@bluespygirl (2112)
• Philippines
29 Jul 11
I wish I have my family member like you. It is like I am just the only one willing to help them. And now that I am the one neding, they sem to be busy. I hate the question "how are you?" from them because after saying thjat I am not okay, they didnt respond. I'm a type of person who really listen and wiling to help in any way that I can. That is why I am so depress right now because I have no one to turn to. Is my life always like this? I am always the giver but when I will be the one who will be neding, there is no one that I can turn to. :(
@AngelHope2011 (199)
• United States
22 Jul 11
I've been asking myself the same question for years. It ponders on me ever since I was a kid. This same question has been looming on me even more so now that my mom has lost her mind. I don't keep in touch with my mom's side of the family as much since I live with my dad. I don't go to Saturday bible study anymore with them, I don't do the same things I did with my mom and I find myself becoming more like my dad's side of the family. But, I feel disconnected from them in a way as well. I guess it's because I'm not fully white like most of them are.
@thetis74 (1525)
•
22 Jul 11
You don't necessarily have to feel that you are adopted to feel that you are not a part of them. Some people are just like that, that they don't even realize they are hurting us. It is sad to say that even the members of our family and even the people we love can just act that way. I also experienced that when I was young. I am the eldest and had a lot of chores in the house. I even do chores that are to be assigned to the boys. And I have this younger brother who doesn't have anything to do, and I would ask my father to have him help me but he would just ignore me. So I just had to do it alone.
@pampie (18)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
Maybe you were just feeling the way that you are feeling. I think they don't do what you want them to do because they felt you are a strong person. As I see the way you supported them you were really strong. Just keep your heads up something good will happen in return for the favors that you did for them. Don't feel left out cause you weren't just be strong and keep it up
