Abuse or discipline

Yes, you are right the pain doesn't have to do with disciplne. Discipline is a leaning process. For example the person that doesn't teach disciplne the (abuser) teach the child that decisionds are at the whim of the caregiver, but the person that discipline the child teach the child to make healthy choices for him/her and prepare the child for eventual independence.

So true. I raised 4 kids and if asked, they would tell you that they have never been spanked. I know there were occasions when they were small that I tapped their little bottoms but they must not have been memorable for them because they really don't remember. It was rare. I just never believed in that method of teaching kids how to be and still don't. My girls are all grown now and they are very responsible, kind and respected people. Spanking is for the most part, a temporary fix and sometimes the temporary fix is good but only when it is followed up with communication.

Hello Sfd. I understand that we like parents have to discipline our kids, but there a lot of ways to discipline the kids without spank them, and if we spank them we have to do it with self control, not angry. I totally agree with the way your father taught you,if we think how we would feel if somebody do to us what we are doing to the others. Faces expressions from the parents showing if they consent or not with the behavior of the the kids is a very good way to discipline the kids. Anyway those bad and good experiences can help to no make the same mistakes with our kids and copy those disciplines that really work.

Yes you are right,is good to know that are not that kind parents, every kind of spanking is violence it causes physical pain in the body of the child fear in his mind. Every act of spanking also involves humillation for the child simultaneously. Then the best way to discipline them is like you are doing.

Parenting itself is a heavy responsibility that need full commitment by either one parent orboth before they should set out thinking of having a child. Unfortunately in today materialistic world, too many of them are either refused to acknowledge and accept that solemn responsibility of being a parent come with the birth of a child, or they just too immature to live a marriage life let alone having several children. Many time children are subjected to abusive treatments whenever a wrong is done, leaving inreversible damage to the future well being of that child and cause grave consequences to the society later, it is quite a prevalent trend in today modern society where immature couple are not up to the task of parenting and often create a monster out of an abusive child for his adult life. I am sure without much elaboration you can witness many of these horrible outcomes linking to an abusive family yourself just by reading our current affair articles.

Yes you are right unfortunately, a lot of children suffer lonelyness, starve, because they have unresponsable parents. Because of this I pray for them joined to my son in order my son sees all the bleses he has, and teaching him tht we have to pray for those who are in need, not onky fo us.

Hello Lampar Exactly my friend it is true what you say,and it is call emotional abuse, this is kind of abuse may dismiss the feelings of the child and needs,expecting the child perform humiliating or unpleasant tasks. The harsh language or verbal abuse manipulate the child into feeling guilty for trivial things, Verbal abuse takes on many forms including criticizing, insulting,degrading, hasrh scolding,name-calling,ridiculing,screaming, using crude or foul language,that is so bad that some parents don't know how to discipline their kids, and instead of discipline them, they cause emotional damage to the kids. You response was a very smart one thanks for your contribution, I hope those who have kids have learned something by this discussion. I learned a lot! Thanks!

You right, friend. Because anger will make our children angers too in the future. If we beat them...we should explain to them what they did wrong and why they are beaten...

Exactly Aerous that is the spirit.

I agree with you, we have to discipline our children with love not with anger,because when the factor of anger enter, begin the abuse. So we have to raise our kids with love but strong at the same time. Many modern parenting books discourage correcting, punishing, and spanking children—even when they willfully disobey. This idea is diametrically opposed to the clear teaching of Scripture, "12For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth (Prov. 3:12).

Yes you are right, I don't believe in the violence to make a child change a behabior I think the violence can make the child never change or be worst. For example I know that an abuser make the child just listen, but doesn't teach the child to understand what is the wrong on his/her behavior, the person that give disciple teach child right from wrong.

Awinds; You've give very clear definition what is abuse and discipline. I agree with you. By giving precise examples it is easily understood. Thanks for your participation with good knowledge. Happy mylotting!

@Rosa16 I really agree with that! Violence will not teach a child why stealing an ipod from the store is wrong. All that tells the child is that pain will occur is they do that action again. It doesn't get settled in their brains that stealing is wrong because of A,B and C and that realistic consequences will follow. @QeeGood Thank you! I was a bit worried that I was a bit unclear up there but the opposite seems to be the case. You have a great time myLotting to! :)

Yes, you are right, and another difference between abuse and discipline is that the abuser demostrate anger and hostility, and when the care giver is disciplining the child he/she demostrate love and affection.

Very true! In many cases I think abuse come from anger someone is bottling inside until they find the person they can take it out on..

Yes that is sad that the adults sound off to the kids just because they can't defend them self.

Hello Bounce! Thanks for taking your valuable time to respond in my discussion discipline vs abuse. Yes you are right, if we the parents raise our children with discipline we won't need corporal punishment, for example if we support our kids with a loving relationship between they and us it can help a lot, because the children have to feel that we are not against them, they have to understand that we are against that behavior. Besides if we use positive reinforcement strategies to increase desired behaviors. Or removing reinforcement or applying punishment to reduce or eliminate undesired behaviors. Is not easy is a hard work of 24/7 (hours/days) but to be functional all the steps have to be followed and then the discipline plan will be successful.