My Boyfriend is in Rehab and my due date is in less than 2 weeks

United States
September 1, 2011 12:54pm CST
So Im almost 9 months pregnant. My boyfriend has been in Rehab for 3 months now. We are not aloud to contact eachother because were not married. It seem kind of messed up to me bacause for 3 months Ive had to do everything. Including move by myself. Not to mention I lost my job and nobody wants to hire a pregnant woman. So anyway the program said he can be there for the birth. Just got this news yesterday. I was excited and at the same time a little worried. I know the main reason he went to this rehab instead of any other is because his parents liked this one. Its 10 1/2 months long and it run by a religious group. (thats why they wont let us see or talk to eachother) They said I am a bad influence because Im not married and Im pregnant. Crazy huh? Ive never done drugs. Im a college graduate. Ive been drunk twice in my whole life. But Im a bad Influence because I'm pregnant. Nice huh? Well anyway I'll get to my question. He gets to be there for the birth of our son. Should I ask him to stay and ruin the relationship I have with his family for the sake of my son or should I just let him go back for 7 more months without saying anything. By the way he is there by his own free will. Hes not in any court problem or anything. He told me the day we dropped him off that he was doing this to keep his parents happy. What do you think. Is 3 months enough time to know weather your going to be a "good boy" or not?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@ankitbhat (269)
• India
2 Sep 11
whole lifetime is not enough whether you are gonna be a good boy or not but we should try to be optimistic
• United States
5 Sep 11
Im a little confused on what you mean. lol. Sorry but I think I might understand the whole lifetime thing. Thank you for your help.
@cat003 (33)
• United States
2 Sep 11
Simple! Let him be there for the birth of your child.. If he wants to be a good father to your son,and you truely care about him, send him back to rehab.
• United States
5 Sep 11
Thank you for your help. Every opinion helps at this point. Have a blessed day. :)
@choybel (5049)
• Philippines
2 Sep 11
I know it's hard for you being pregnant and all that, so I would suggest having to ask help from people who are very close to you, better if they are your parents or relatives. If you do get a chance, talk about future plans with your boyfriend, in a way that involves positive outcomes so as not to make it look like you are pressuring him. Ask about his plans for himself and see if you could fit in there somewhere. By now, you must really be very strong, at least strong enough for you and your baby. I do hope everything turns out well and favorable for you. Some parents are just overprotective and I don't think they know you well enough to judge you as such. Still, you could prove them wrong later in life when you show them how much potential you have. Good luck to you!
• United States
5 Sep 11
Thank you so much. I really like your ideas and will ask him what his plans are. Im starting to really relize that this isnt about me and him anymore. The closer I get to the birth the more Im starting to really relize that the only thing that matters is my little boy and his happiness! Thank you again
@LifeGuru (923)
• Canada
1 Sep 11
You should have applied for maternity leave when you were 5 months in... -_- Okay that's bull for parents to say you're a bad influence while you're not married and pregnant. Besides marriage cost a lot more than just a veil and a cake, and things happen. Well it's his fault for not engaging to you! So his parents are a load of crap - no offense. Some people should not listen to their parents when they're in a old 'nough age already. The rehab thing is good, since he's trying to turn his life around, but constantly listening to them I'd rather start anew when I'm through dealing with mine. I'm 19 going on 20 and I'm still stuck in the rebellious teen phase. I wish you luck for you both, maybe after his rehab he'll work hard to get you a nice ring, and save up some money to get you and your child a good home so that you 3 can be a family. I know people has ought most respect for their parents and whatnot coz they raised their kids and whatnot... But it's time for them to just suck it up and let go. If you yourself is religious, pray and hope for a better future. If you're not so religious - either way just keep positive knowing you'll make it through just fine... And yes, 3 months is enough time to determine if your life has been changed or not... Anything more than that sounds like prison.
• United States
1 Sep 11
Thank you :) I like your possitive attitude and will try and stay possitive
@tech2d (338)
• United States
1 Sep 11
Out of all that you have said in this post, one thing stands out to me. You said that he is in rehab on his own free will to make his parents happy. From what I understand regarding addiction/recovery, he should be there first and foremost for himself. If he is there for any other reason his chances of relapse is high. As for the child, well....it IS his child and I think that he should be there for the birth. Being in a rehab run by a religious group I would assume that they do not use a twelve step program. I'm not knocking it, but I have seen better results with the twelve step programs. Just my opinion. Oh by the way, are you willing to quit drinking when he gets out and support him? If you are drinking and he is trying to stay sober, there will be problems.
@Dominique25 (9471)
• United States
1 Sep 11
I'm sorry to hear that you aren't able to see each other. And it takes two to tangle so they can't say you are a bad influence, he's a grown man. I think though it would be good for him to stay the whole period of the program. That way he can overcome whatever addiction he has. You will be thankful for this in the long run for your sons sake. It's sad though that all this had to happen at such an important time in both your lives. But it's his decision and if he decides to get out early hopefully he has received enough help. Early congratulations on the birth of your son! Keep us posted on how you are doing.
• United States
28 May 12
Hello again, I know it has been quite a while but a lot has happened in the last 9 months. I had my son. Emergency c-section. I was alone. Nobody was there with me. My sons heart stopped but the doctors were able to save him. This is my first week since my son was born that I haven't gone to my PPD councilor. The last 9 Months have been a tornado. I lost my family due to my sons father. I had a child alone. I had just lost my job when he went to rehab. I was evicted and had to live in my car.So I had to sell everything I had to pay my bills and to buy baby diapers etc. I remember selling my great grandmothers jewelry just to be able to go to the doctor. That was the only thing she left to me when she passed away. I was so upset at my sons father. He decided that he did not want to leave his program on Easter and decided to stay there, He said hes not ready to be a father and that the people there are going to teach him how. Which I think is just crazy. Nobody can teach you how to be a parent. Its trial and error. That's life. So even though I'm scared of what his parents might do. I'm finally going to move on. I should have know the minute his parents told me he was smoking pot that he couldn't be a father. My son had had no father for 9 months now and even though its been the hardest part of my life my son and I will make it together. We don't need a man who doesn't put his child first. My son is the only man I need, and I can be his mother and father. Thank you for your kind words back those 9 months ago. Have a wonderful and blessed day!