Reacting to criticism.

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We have all had the experience of reacting in a way that was less than ideal upon hearing bad news,being unfairly criticized, or just being told something we did not want to hear. This makes sense because when our emotions are triggered, they tend to take center stage, inhibiting our ability to pause before we speak. We may feel compelled to release the tension by expressing ourselves in some way, whether it's yelling back at the person yelling at us, or rushing to deliver words of comfort to a friend in trouble. However, there is much to be said for teaching ourselves to remember to pause and take a deep breath before we respond to the shocks and insults that often come our way. For one thing, our initial response is not always what's best for us, or for the other people involved. Reacting to childish rage with childish rage will only escalate the negativity in a situation. Reacting defensively, or simply thoughtlessly, we often end up regretting our words or actions. In the end, we save ourselves a lot of pain when we stop and take a deep breath before we respond. This doesn't necessarily mean we don't say anything, although in some cases, that may be the best option. Some situations may require a fairly immediate response, but even stopping just a moment to compose ourselves, can help enormously. The next time we find ourselves wanting to react, let's try to pause, and in that pause, take a deep breath. Let's feel our feet on the floor,and listen for a response to arise within us, rather than just going with the first thing that pops into our head. Some twenty years ago I had such an experience and reacted in all the wrong ways. Today I feel that I've learned from that experience and would handle things quite differently now. How about you? What has been your experience and what have you learned?