We Are Friends. You Can't Love Me

Sweetie, i think you need a break from friends and everyone around you. Being in the middle of something like this will really hurt you. Now, go and get the vodka, pack your bags and go someplace where no one will bother you. One need a break in life sometimes just to get your bearings backs.

hi goddess! so this is the tip of the iceberg. the story we could not find enough time to chat with over the last few weeks that we were both on and off at mylot... being busy goddesses. lolz emotion is a complex matter. nothing is absolute. and it can completely change in the next moment. it can take a 180 degree turn. and we can sometimes be powerless to control how we feel towards a person. years ago, back in the university, aris is one of my very close classsmate, a very good friend who decided to move the friendship to the next level. he was a good boyfriend material. but i guess, not for me. i didn't feel anything more than friendship. and i already had a boyfriend at the time. but he still pursued for several years until i lived in another country and we lost touch. now i'm with brylle. and at first, i had the same dilemma. i don't want to ruin our friendship by being romantically involved. but we did. when things got rough and we parted ways once, i never anticipated that we would one day get back together again. but we did. sometimes when our emotions, our feelings rule... we become powerless to do anything about how we feel. we just do. sometimes it defies logic and sense. we just feel. sometimes we feel right, we feel good about something and we just go for it. even the most perfect guy that would one day come along in your life, but you dont feel a thing about this guy... there'd still be nothing. but if one day, someone stole your heart and kept it beating, even if he's a frog prince or a villain in your fairy tale world, you'd still feel something. that's how complicated feelings are. i'd say, if you don't have feelings for the guy, don't pursue a romantic relationship. but you already know that girl... have a great day goddess!

i am not against the relationship that comes after the friendship. you see, there are even marriages that breaks because when they got married they do not have the time to know each other for a longer time. and when they got married, true colors revealed. friends usually get together more often than sweethearts, in my own opinion. so they know each other more than they know about their own sweethearts. same goes to some couples. there are people who do not talk about everything about him/her to his/her spouse, but could open up more to friends. love they said is blind. but love, i also believe, can be learned.

And an another guy who loves you but hard to marry you because he is from abroad. lol Well, its your decision what to do or not but as i often say that all the fingers of a hand are not same in size,..... between them may have the right one for you and you just ignoring for your previous experience or may be your decision is right. take care. Oh..... now a green leaf?

And..what happened to your avatar, someone stole it? Any of those two guys ever stole it? Wait..let me check and find the culprit and I will hang him upside down

Hey,what happened to your avatar my friend? For sure you're going to upload a new pic again,haha! Well,I'm here to tell you bhaby that me and my hubby are bestfriends that became lovers,haha! And I am happy to say I have no regrets loving my bestfriend,hehe! I know what can successfully happen to me may not happen with you but I just want to give you an example of bestfriends that became best lovers. But actually,it took him 3 years to finally get my sweet "yes",haha! "cause like you,I've been telling myself that I can never love my bestfriend. But hubby was so patient in courting me until I finally gave up,lol! He's not even my ideal man bhaby but the feeling was developed and that's more intense than just love at first sight,I believe,hehe! I'm not saying you might also fall in love with either of your two suitors my friend but we can never tell what may happen in the future,haha! Goodluck to your suitors,lol! May the best man win,haha!

Hi there! First of all, your discussion has somewhat different contents and meaning in comparison to your statement, which you made on FB. What I understood from FB statements was - "why can not lover be good friends", however, here it is opposite case. You see I will have to but agree with your views, which you have expressed in the post. Treating two guys as good friends, does not automatically mean that you will fall for them or will develop a serious 'relationship' with them. However, you must make your stand clear to them, irrespective of the fact what they think about you or expect from you. If you want them as your friends only, you must tell both of them because if you do not express yourself, they will not come to know about your real feelings. It is your life and it is entirely up to you whether you want to enter into a serious relationship with any of them or not. If you do not want, they should not force you, instead respect your decision.

Hi! That's really a pinch situation you are in. I don't like crossing the line between friendship and love, too. I treat my guy friends as brothers and I'm always open with them about it. I just can't take being romantically involved with someone who I'm so comfortable with like a brother. I had a friend who tried to court me but right from the start I told him we could never be because I knew for sure that our friendship will be in danger. I can't be friends after all with an ex-boyfriend. Of course, that is predicting that the relationship will fail but there's always the possibility of it. I'm not good friends with all my exes so I don't want that to happen with a very good friend who I have treated like a brother. I don't want to waste a relationship like that. Anyway, if they still pursue their feelings for you, and if you really don't feel anything for them, maybe you can give them two options, it's either they forget their feelings for you and continue to be friends, or they pursue their feelings for you and forget your friendship. That's how I see things can happen.

Hi bhaby catch: I can understand your point of view. When a friendship becomes a love relationship, all the feelings get a little more complicated and you can't separate your relationship with this person as a lover and your relationship as just friends. Some people can still be friends after breaking up with someone but it's not that easy, it's actually really difficult. And start a relationship just to try if it will work doesn't sound like the best idea to me. Better you keep your friendship and they should respect your point because they are your friends and you don't want to offer more than this. ALVARO

hello babycatch! Having relationships with a friend is quite complicated somehow cause you are risking both your relationship as friends and lovers as well. Some says being a friend first before entering into relationship can be good foundation but then, you should also think of possibilities on how you both handle your relationships as friends and/or lovers. The guy expected too much that you feel something about him but only you knows how you really feel for them. If you don't feel something special for both of them, why give into a relationship, right? The only thing you have to think of is how you will tell them about your feelings. I once have a friend who became my lover but then like you, after the relationship has ended it is hard to be friends again.specially when you don't have feelings anymore and he still have it.

I think a relationship start from friendship to a serious one is one of the best. Just like the old people say that in a marriage, sometimes love and romance will fade as the times pass by. And being friends of the couple will save the marriage for they have respects, trust and because they are best friends. But not telling everyone succeed, just like yours. And you have restricted yourself from falling to your friends. Nothing is wrong with that for as long you are true and honest to your feelings for them. And you made it clear to them that you feel nothing more than friends for them.

Well, being in love with someone who initially is your friend could either work for you or against you. Friendship as the first base of relationship has advantages because it's a sure thing that you have something in common with that person. But on your case, you've said that when the feeling is gone, the feeling of friendship also fades. So I think it's a case to case basis depending on someone's preference. Some feel cheated (especially girls) and sees the guy had taken advantage of their closeness and their friendship.

Yes, it's not an easy thing to do. Sometimes, you treat your friends as close or good friends and that's that. Sometimes, they want to bring it to the next level but you don't. Maybe it's better if you can let them know that you see in him as just a good friend but it can never be more to that. And if that the case, you would still want them to be friends with you. I've had to tell a friend the same thing but of course he didn't take it too well at first. The good thing is that we still go out for drinks and we still maintain our friendship.

Sometimes that's the problem if you are really that attractive wherein even your friends will fall in love with you, lol. It is right to tell them the truth about your feelings to them. They have to accept it. If not, yes you have to start avoiding them even it goes to the extent of giving up the friendship. Yes you are right, you should limit your sweetness and being too close with them, because they might misinterpret it. Well, just take care of yourself at all times and enjoy your life. Have a nice day!

hem if you love him why not but if you just friend tell him carefully, dont hurt him heart :D

Screen yourself truly first, arent you really had a special feeling for one of those guys. If your answer is NO, then you should explain it to them carefully and slowly, try to consider their feelings also. Be true with your explanation, if they truly cares for you then they can understand.