I feel so lonely, that I will never be loved again.

@bonbon664 (3466)
Canada
September 14, 2011 9:37am CST
I am currently going through a separation, and an eventual divorce from my husband of 18 years. Although, it's a mutual decision, there are some days that I feel so sad, and empty. Unfortunately, today is one of those days. I just feel like I will never be loved again. I can't bear the idea of spending the rest of my days alone. Has anyone ever felt this emptiness, this lonlieness? How do you get past it? I have supportive friends, a good job, great family, but, something is missing. I am missing the simple things in life, like when a man you love brushes against you, or you share knowing glances....oh, better stop, making me sad again.
2 people like this
14 responses
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
14 Sep 11
I have already resigned myself to spending the rest of my life alone and accepting this I have made it easier for myself. Mind you after being in an abusive relationship it has put me off for life. I never want to be in a relationship again. I don't get lonely in my own company to be truthful, I prefer my own company. I used to feel the way you do my friend, and yes I felt that I would never be loved again, I was anxious about growing old alone and no one taking an interest in me. I am 40 years of age and I have given up on love, I don't want anyone in my life. It's not all love, romance and being with someone. Think of your time alone as freedom, quality time to do what you want to do, enjoy life, enjoy not having to think of someone else. Remember relationships are not always happy ones! Becareful what you wish for it might come true!
@bonbon664 (3466)
• Canada
14 Sep 11
I can't visualize spending my life alone. Although, like you, I enjoy spending time alone, if that makes any sense. I'm certainly not looking for a relationship at the moment, but, it's the little things I'm missing. Like when a man touches the small of your back to guide you through a crowd, little stuff like that.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
15 Sep 11
I think many people all over the world go through such a situation or are still in it. Some have good friends, family to help them others have to do it all alone. You miss the the simple things in life, but these simple things you already did not had anymore they were gone already otherwise you would not divorce. You will be alone for some time. How long that will depend on you. You can start a new relationship in every way you like with everyone, but the question is: would you except every man? It's important to greeve first, there is nothing wrong with feeling sorry for yourself at time and you have to find the real you back. If you did that and if you know what you want or like or at least what you don't want and don't like it's time to start a new life. So at the moment the only thing you need to do is to give yourself time to say goodbye and find the courage to start a brand new life. What you had is not gone. You are rich of life experience which you can use in so many ways. If you feel down you can tell yourself you always survived so you will survive again but most of all their will be a time you will shine again and you will never feel lonesome and unloved again. I wish you all the luck and love in the world.
1 person likes this
@peavey (16936)
• United States
14 Sep 11
I went through a divorce many years ago and I remember feeling the same way. It does fade with time and the realization that I chose this life and that there are many things that I enjoy now that I would never have had the chance to enjoy otherwise, makes a huge difference. How to get past it? I think that by looking forward instead of back. Plan for your future. Think about going places and doing things differently. Look forward to being able to engage in hobbies or interests that you might not have been able to give your full attention to. Reach out in various ways. Volunteer to serve in a soup line instead of eating by yourself. Volunteer to read aloud to a senior citizen group instead of watching TV alone. Things like that can help you grow into a more independent and satisfied person.
@bonbon664 (3466)
• Canada
14 Sep 11
Good advice, thank you.
@bunnybon7 (50975)
• Holiday, Florida
14 Sep 11
i think nearly everyone has went through this. i went through it with 4 divorces. because i had trouble being alone. the last hubby passed away and he was so great for me that i eventually had to learn how to live alone and just date some. no other man could measure up. therefore i refused to marry or live with any more. having found out they were not what i wanted. so, sadly this takes a while and you will likely meet someone soon to take up this loneliness. are you sure you dont still love your husband?
@bonbon664 (3466)
• Canada
14 Sep 11
I have always been very independant, so, the physical being alone part is ok. It's just I'm feeling old and unloved.
• Pamplona, Spain
27 Sep 11
Hiya bonbon, Right now you will be feeling pretty low but that will pass in time. How much time will depend on you yourself really. I know it´s alright for me to say that because I am not going through that personally myself but I know what it feels like to be left on your own with no support like a lot of us too I might add. When I lost certain People in my life I just took it one Day at a time and I still do that now I don´t try to look to a future full of uncertainty which it is but a future full of joy and happiness because you deserve to be happy no matter what. Its really a difficult shift for you to make in life and if you have supportive Friends around you I would reach out to them if you can and tell them that you are hurting even if its only that just tell them and your Family too. Hope the hurt gets less and less every Day bonbon.xxx PS: GG is right too those are pearls of wisdom she has given there.xxx
@bonbon664 (3466)
• Canada
30 Sep 11
Yes, one day at a time is how it's been going, and so far, that's been working.
• Pamplona, Spain
19 Oct 11
Hiya BB, I know when you say one Day at a time it seems oh so slow but it is your best guide as it can really help you to take time out and maybe do other things that you had long neglected or never thought of. We live in a World that moves so fast I think we all need to slow down somewhat whatever we are doing and find a real meaning in whatever it is that helps soothe our frazzled nerves. I hear so many around me say "I don´t have time for all that", but we do have the time and its up to ourselves to use it better than what we might do. Hope you are feeling much better now.xxx
• Philippines
14 Sep 11
Maybe all you need is booze. It worked for me when my girlfriend broke up with me, maybe it'll work for you too.
• Philippines
15 Sep 11
Yeah, you might realize that but at least you felt good even for just a while, right?
@KrauseHome (36449)
• United States
16 Sep 11
I think many times this is definately the norm with any person going thru a seperation or a divorce. Especially the longer the 2 people have been together not knowing what to expect, and not sure if they are ready to be alone, and will anyone ever want to take the chance to Love and accept them again. Personally this is all natural, but in reality this is just time to move on, get your thoughts together and rediscover the New you and what is best for you. Quit worrying about the future so much and just take things as they come.
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
14 Sep 11
hugs to you bonbon. things will get better, just you watch!
@ebuscat (5935)
• Philippines
15 Sep 11
For me yes it's natural feeling you are to now the only way to survive is to worship the only true God Jehovah so that things would be better.
@stary1 (6612)
• United States
14 Sep 11
Wow 18 years is a long time. Of course it will feel sad and lonely after being so used to being married. It sounds as if you miss the romance and initial exciting feelings of falling in love. No one will have any answers for you except to keep busy and try to look forward. You can also look ahead in anticipation to finding a new love ..you never know when that will happen. Also who knows..maybe you and your ex will reunite..life is full of so many possibilities..try to stay positive if you can. Wishing you all the best
@pbbbsra (1214)
• Philippines
15 Sep 11
I am sorry with your situation. I think that life does not end there. I know that it is not an easy situation, and I don't even want to imagine myself experiencing that. i think you have to be strong and do not stop hoping and praying. I am sure that life will not be that rude on you or anyone who experienced a divorce or a loss of someone they love. I think that a better love will always be on its way and we all have the ability to be happy. You hold your life and your happiness depends on you and not on the other person. I think you can get through with it. You have your family to hold on right now and friends who will be by your side. The right love and the better man will come... just keep praying.
@cow_boy29 (236)
• United States
15 Sep 11
me too i am feel so lonely althogh i am in my beloved people, stick it,
@legrande (68)
• India
15 Sep 11
we are nt dependent on any1 in this world.. keep diverting ur mind into other activities which you love and which u think will be adventurous.. keep yourself occupied.. loneliness will eat u once u start feeling it.. i have felt this often, and now i have got the power to withstand and overcome it.. i go for shopping alone, or browse through, or get some gifts for myself, or a different hair style.../ etc... try these and u can also find a difference in you!!
15 Sep 11
I dont know if my experience can help you. I am a widow for almost 15 years now. We are both alone the difference is that I know that what ever i do i cannot let my husband be back again. While you know that he is just there. But still the same that we are both alone. My first year of being alone, i tried to pray more and contribute some of my time to serve in my parish until now. When you work for the Lord you wont feel alone.