Live in before Marriage

@zhawee (873)
Philippines
September 18, 2011 12:55am CST
why some relationship want first live in before marriage. Is this unfair to the girl if the boys left her, because she give all dignity for him? Some reason is that heared to my close friend, they need getting to know each other..I don`t know if this the right answer or not, but I respect to her Decision.
3 people like this
10 responses
@GemmaR (8517)
18 Sep 11
I think that it depends on the people involved, and also the culture and religion as their beliefs will come into it a lot. I chose to move into a flat with my partner before we got married, and I gave myself to him fully, because I am not of the belief that a couple have to be married before they should be able to do this. I know of a lot of people who would not make this decision, though, and I think that it is a serious decision that a couple should make together. They should listen to, and respect, each other's opinions on the subject.
2 people like this
@yskaps (233)
• India
18 Sep 11
i agree with that's thought of your way.if people do as u say they can mutually understand and after they can decide their selection is up to the mark or not.but on my country not allowing this type of life style.v can live after marriage otherwise it will b illegal activities.
2 people like this
@youless (112166)
• Guangzhou, China
19 Sep 11
In fact this is a complicated issue and it is hard to say whether it is fair or not. It seems that your friend's boyfriend was mean to her since he left her. However, when people can't live together. Sometimes it is better to separate as soon as possible because this relationship will not have a good ending. Even if they can get married, but I am afraid sooner or later they will divorce. And it will not be good for each other. Be sure your friend shall think about her boyfriend and think he was good so that she would choose to live with him. Nobody forced her to do so. Now this boy left her and she should not blame to it so much because she is also responsible to it. I love China
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Sep 11
hi there! i totally disagree...it is still best to be married before living together. if a girl decides to live in with a guy without the sanctity of marriage it would often lead to disaster. First, the girl doesnt have the assurance that the guy would stick with her. Secondly, if the girl gets pregnant the child would not bear the family name of the guy unless he acknowledges him/her but still this could cause a lot of complications. Third, people would look down at the girl. There are still other reasons why it is not good to be in a live in situation. Some might say that there are also some good points to it however let me just point out the negative things out shines the positive as they put it. In the end the girl is the loser because the guy can easily go on with his life, reputation intact and so called dignity still with him.
2 people like this
@yfchin83 (127)
• Malaysia
19 Sep 11
Cohabitation is a trial period for marriage. Before deciding to get married, people cohabitate as a trial to see whether they can live together. People cohabitate when they want to get into a committed relationship but not ready to get married. In my opinion, cohabitation can be a good practice if it is taken maturely and with responsibility. If it is not taken seriously, it can create more problems than it is suppose to resolve.
1 person likes this
@gk655321 (236)
18 Sep 11
It's usually just to get to know the other first. If they aren't married then she still has the feeling that she can leave before it gets too bad. Where as in marriage it's a lot harder to get out of. The same thing goes for guys too. It's kind of like a baby step toward getting married, but this usually doesn't end up in marriage now that I think about it. Guys want their freedom and alot of girls don't want to be tied down. I really don't understand it.
2 people like this
@knicnax (2233)
• Philippines
19 Sep 11
some couples live in before marriage because they want to live together like husband and wife but they still don't have the money for a wedding. Some people prefer to live together than get married because they're afraid of commitment. They don't want to be stuck with that person forever if the right person comes along. What dignity is lost when you live in with someone? Does it make you less of a person? Can you not perform daily functions if you live in with someone? Is virginity the issue? Is losing your virginity losing all dignity?
@zhawee (873)
• Philippines
19 Sep 11
in this time when we say virginity, its only common, mean its not important if he love you, accept who you are. I mean Dignity, you live with him without assurance after that, he left you and just only saying, they relationship is not work it or built up. As now I cant judge my friend.
@pmxk001 (12)
19 Sep 11
This is how I say,some people like to live independently.Getting married will be bound him.If you meet such person ,then you can choose to leave.
@asyria51 (2861)
• United States
19 Sep 11
I had a friend who had been dating a guy for years, three or four. Their marriage only lasted about year before she filed for divorce. Without having lived together you do not know how you are going to actually do the living together. He hid the fact that his mom did everything for him. He had no real ambition, and preferred to sit and play video games instead of interact with her. had they lived together before they were married they would never have gotten married, and subsequently divorced.
1 person likes this
• Bangladesh
18 Sep 11
I do agree with you.We should not do live together before we marry.Its really unfair to a girl.Because we know when a girl loves to anyone,she is ready to give every thing to him.But it is boy who damages or ruins her life.I think girl should marry first and then go for everything.