fighting temptation

Philippines
September 26, 2011 7:41pm CST
I miss my boyfriend so much and I am tempt to chat with other guy in the net just to have someone to talk to. This is wrong I know but what I only want is to have someone who will listen to me. I know myself so much, I love my bf and I will not fall for other guy just by chatting. But, I really want someone who I can share my idea specially now that I don't have any communication with my bf due to his work. Maybe chatting with someone over the internet is not a bad idea as long as you know yourself. But my other mind says it is wrong and the other mind says it is fine.
1 person likes this
15 responses
• Mexico
27 Sep 11
hi there, my sugestion will be no,no and no, i know many girls who said before that they love so much their BF, but let me tell you one thing, we are humans and most of us have fail sometimes and im sure you will fail, im a man and i know what im talking about, not even try it, its a honest oppinion, i know some stories that have end like this way, this is the storie, this girl had her BF a seaman this guy have to travel for about 4 months and left his GF, both promisse to wait each other, guess what? the guy did not talk to her so much and she start chatting, she find another, in a short time this man traveled to her country, to make it short this guy has better job than the other so she dicide to stay with this australian guy thinking that they could get married.............only you know whats in your heart and mind, i hope.
• Philippines
28 Sep 11
Thanks Investor! Now I know that chatting with other guy is not a good idea, given the fact that I am involve to someone else. I love my bf and I need to sacrifice. And now I realize that I do not want to use other guy just to entertain myself.
1 person likes this
• Mexico
29 Sep 11
so great that you decided it, one more suggestion , if you plan to marry this guy please talk to him and plan everything about his job because being far away each other is not a good idea to live like that, there are plenty of stories about it also, people who live far away have more chances to have another girl/man on their side, i dont want to scare you but listen, doctors,fire fighters,police,military, sea man, security guards,teachers, office boss, just to mention some are all cheaters, with a few exceptions of course but most of them are cheaters with capital letters so please be careful not all of us are faithful.
@skysuccess (8880)
• Singapore
27 Sep 11
jaderamirez, I wonder if you've actually reread what you've posted here. If you have then I believe you would have actually answered your own concerns. I can empathize with your situation; it's not easy having to manage a seemingly loveless and non communicative relationship. Yet, I am actually worried about for your sanity and sense of integrity in these challenging circumstances within your relationship when you seek such precarious alternatives. As you type, I was just wondering when is the turning point in this duplicitous relationship of yours since you mentioned that you want him to listen to you till you actually want to look for another person to talk it out. You want it so badly that you seem to have become so illogical yourself. And, it led me asking whether this relationship with your boyfriend was a case of a wrong perceived expectation or desire on your part? Although, you've mentioned about his inability to be in communication with you due to his work, I cannot see how he could be so "distracted" or rather kept 24/7 from you. How could that be? Seemed like this relationship has notably been damaged and perhaps you could share what could have caused this. You seemed to be suffering in forced silence; but something from my gut is telling me otherwise. P.S. I am not against chatting on the internet but if you are looking to share your emotions on the bandwidth, then it is really a totally different thing. It will be ignorance on your part when you say that you will not fall for the opposite when you involve yourself emotionally online, even if it is chatting. Liken to casting an empty net into the waters and telling people that you would not be having any catch - just who do you think is kidding here.
• Philippines
27 Sep 11
Thanks for spending your time just to give advice. No I don't have a problem with my bf. I love him and now I realized that you are all right, I should not chat with other guys because that is a big foul in a relationship. He trust me and I should show Him that I deserve to be trusted.We do not have any communication because he is in a training right now.
• Philippines
27 Sep 11
Let's say there is nothing wrong chatting, but why would you prefer to chat with men when you have girl friends who can comfort you while your boyfriend is out for work? I am just afraid for you..even when we say you won't fall for that guy. You and your boy friend should find ways to communicate even if he's at work. How about his vacant time (call, text or chat). Have some girl talk, have some hobbies or interest try to make yourself busy to improve not always thinking so you wont miss him that much. go girl.
• Philippines
28 Sep 11
You are that is true, the more i think of him the more I become sad because, I miss him so much and he is not here with me. I have a busy work to call my friends from time to time. But you are right,there is no guarantee that someone will not fall if I started chatting with other guy.
• Philippines
27 Sep 11
hello. .its so nice to talk with someone especially that you have no communication with your bf nowadays. .why not try to talk with your best friend or friends instead of talking someone on the net whom you don't know yet . .
• Philippines
28 Sep 11
I have so many friends and I share my problems with them. What is hard is when I am alone in my room and I miss my love one and I really need someone who I can share my thoughts with. But, now I realize that it is not good to put myself in a situation that will lead me to problems in the future.
@tiina05 (2318)
• Philippines
27 Sep 11
hello, You can chat to your friends that is not bad at all. But if you like to chat to a other guy why not to a girl? So, you don't have issue at all. You know if you bother so much when you are chatting to other guys maybe you should stop doing it because You have a formal boyfriend who is faithful to you. Well, I cant say that he really is.
• Philippines
27 Sep 11
Yes thanks for your advice. Maybe I am wrong to think of chatting with other guys but my point is I trust my self. But, it seems everybody is not in favor of me chatting with other guy. Maybe you are all right for me to avoid problems in the future.
@mensab (4202)
• Philippines
27 Sep 11
i recognize the need of people to communicate and connect with others. inherently in us, there is also a need to express ourselves intimately. these are the reasons why we engage in relationship. your boyfriend should recognize this. and he should communicate with you often. if not, i know that the temptation is strong to communicate with other guys. as strong as you can be, keep resisting and reach out to your boyfriend.
• Philippines
27 Sep 11
Thanks, it his hard to be in this situation. They say that it is easier than done. That is true. For now my best tool is my love for him, that is I use to fight temptation. It is very hard specially that we don't have any communication for months due to his work. I miss him so much, we use to call each other every night and now I don't have someone to talk to like before.
@donsky14 (5960)
• Philippines
27 Sep 11
I know how you feel...I've felt that way as well, and I still do sometimes...sometimes small things like that may lead to misunderstanding with your partner. So why not try focusing yourself with something else? Or maybe hang out with your bestfriend.
• Philippines
27 Sep 11
Thanks for your advice, sometimes it is easier to say than done. But i am really trying my best to fight temptation. All I can guarantee now is that I am not interested to anybody and what I really want is someone to talk to every night, because I am used to it we do call each other every night.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
28 Sep 11
You say you are tempt to talk to other guy just to have someone to talk to. 1st: what is wrong with that? 2nd: if you just want someone to chat to you can do that with girls too 3rd: do you mean just chatting or flirting or something else? 4th: I don't see why you can't talk/chat to other people if your boyfriend is not there. It's normal to talk to other people no matter if it's by the internet, phone or in real life. I would like to know why you think that is wrong since that is something I don't understand.
• Philippines
28 Sep 11
Hello jaderamirez, For me it's fine to chat with the other guys as long you know the limitation and possibilities what will happen. Expect the unexpected my friend and you said that there's an option in you're mind. for me it's okay...
• Philippines
27 Sep 11
friend, i understand what you feel because I'am like you before. I missed my boyfriend so much and I felt jealous to some of my friends because they are so happy with their boyfriend while me belongs to a long distance relationship. It is very hard for me. I missed him everyday. Temptations is always there, sometimes I go with the other guy to have some fun until I realize.....huhuuhhuuh I've hurt the one I loved....
@eseulhan (199)
• Philippines
27 Sep 11
actually i think theres nothing wrong with chatting other guys online as long as they are your friends and you know your limits. i can feel you coz im doing that stuff too, my bf is busy with work and we only cjat for about 30 mins to 1 hr a day. i love my bf. there are really times i get bored and so i chat with my friends and talk about many things just to felieve my boredome.
• Philippines
27 Sep 11
If you're having doubts, then don't do it. What I do during these times when I need someone to talk to is write in my diary. That way, I'll be able to siphon all the things that's bothering my mind in a 'harmless' way. :)
@firedice (11)
27 Sep 11
Meeting people and making new friends is not at all bad. Man in nature is social and this should not be suppressed. We need others in order be normal, and intellectual animals.This was shown in your eagerness to talk with someone in the absence of your BF. Its okay to talk to other people, either they're guys or gals, as long as you know your limitation as somebody in a relationship. You know your boundaries.It will only be wrong if you go beyond it.
@bintje (26)
• China
27 Sep 11
hi,I understand how you feel about your condition.It's not a bad thing to make friends online.Just relax and feel free to do what you like as long as you are not cheating.Don't feel guilty anyway.You are a gf to your bf but you are who you are to the whole wide world.Be yourself and do what make you happy.Wish you good luck!
• Greece
27 Sep 11
you should talk here in mylot more. i dont think it is easy to stray away as long as you know your self and you know what you are doing.