I Am Flirting and Fooling Around...

Philippines
October 8, 2011 11:46pm CST
Isn't it wonderful? My life is no longer boring and miserable. It is full of thrill and excitement now.I have someone I can talk to whenever I want without refusing me, someone I can send a line or two telling him how i miss him and can't wait to be with him again. Someone who feeds my fantasy when I need an extra loving.Someone making my heart skip a beat whenever I hear my phone's beep anticipating that the message or call is from him.Someone who says he needs me, wants me, cares for me and loves me. Oh, it feels heaven. However, I AM NOT. It is just a baseless accusation of my partner.Because I know in my heart that I can't, I couldn't. I don't want to be like the person I hate so much. For the life of me and for my children's sakes,and the little dignity that has still left on me, no way!Unless, I am officially separated from him...
3 people like this
13 responses
• United States
9 Oct 11
When I was reading the whole first part of this I was thinking, "I'm really happy for you". Then I read the bottom and I was like, "Oh...". Eurekafemme, You will find somebody someday that will make you happy if that's what you want. If you're seeking a separation from the one who treats you so badly then just think about it and if it's what you really want then do it. You're kids will understand in time as they grow up. Though staying in that situation will be best for your children it's not the healthiest for you. It can really bring you down and get you depressed which you don't need. I would really put some thought into this. I wish you the best of luck.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Oct 11
Hello, HellsButcher. Wy do you have that username here since I think and feel that you are very much a sweet and sensible person? Just a thought though. I'm happy to hear your sound words again. Thank you for taking the time to read my lengthy post. What's best for me and my children is to be happy together. Though, I must admit that hubby is no longer a healthy 'stuff' for me but I can still hold on a little longer. My kids are very important to me. I do wish for that somebody but just like what I have kept on saying, I just don't have the heart to leave my kids and get a separation from my husband. I don't know if my kids can handle this, at least, not at their very young age. If ever, only God knows... There I say the G word. Do I sound like a hopeless one? Maybe I am...
• Pakistan
9 Oct 11
it looks like you are having fun after a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng period of time. ENJOY IT AND TAKE CARE :)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Oct 11
Hello, Creativeh9. Thank you for dropping a line here and welcome to Mylot. But you are getting me wrong, dear. You can see at the last paragraph that I clearly mentioned there that these are just accusations. I'm not having fun and will never have fun or enjoy such thing because I am a married woman. Th0ugh, I know it'll be exciting but I don't want to tempt fate, not at the expense of my relationship and my kids' future. Breaking my family will surely be the consequence if I do such thing.
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
11 Oct 11
Hi eureka! I received the notification for this post of yours today only. It feels that you love to live in the world of fantasies knowing fully well that reality is very different from your dreams. I agree that every one wishes that his/her partner should take his/her utmost care and should shower endless love on him/her, however, this does not happen in reality. Let us face the reality and try to adjust ourselves, what we have in our kitty.. Keep smiling and keep laughing. Deepak PS - will you please check this out, this discussion was started when I read one of your responses regarding 'appropriate time to talk to your partner' http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/2587460.aspx?p=2#2_22879847
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
12 Oct 11
OK! Perhaps I could not understand properly that it was your partner's accusation's or a vision, which he thinks you are dreaming? I am sorry I thought it from the another angle. I wish, if need be, you could turn all your fantasies into reality and I also wish that there could be someone (who fits into your parameters) who could make all your dreams come true.
• Philippines
12 Oct 11
I'm, not sure about the glitch, dear, since I am not online that much lately. Besides, it is ok if you just responded to this since I didn't have much time to answer the responses here immediately. Now, I'm working on my backlogs. I am living in my fantasy dear because my reality is not as wonderful to live in. YOu know very well my story. But, hey, I can make them a reality, too, if I'd be given a chance and a little help, cooperation, maybe, from the parties involve. Nothing I dreamt of is unrealistic, only I don't have the right person with me. Dear, i'm not sure if you have finished or thoroughly read this post but it seems to me that you have focused on the fantasy which is not mine really. This is my husband's morbid fantasy, conclusion and accusation of what he thought is I'm currently doing.
@shibham (16977)
• India
9 Oct 11
It sounds interesting eureka. But here i am seeing a little frustration too, but why? unable to find out the reason.Take care.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Oct 11
Hello, Shibham. How are you. I think it has been ages since I saw you in my discussion. I'm glad to finally 'hear' from you, dear. It is interesting , if it is true and I have the heart and guts to do it. But, it is frustrating, dear because I AM NOT ACTUALLY DOING THIS. These are accusations from my husband. Lately, he seems to think that I am flirting. . Not true. Maybe, he is scared of his own ghost, but... sigh...
@jennyze (7029)
• Indonesia
10 Oct 11
That is good to hear, the thing that you would not do it unless officially separated from your partner. I was once so sure of myself and then something happened that made me see things as gray now. There are no longer pure white nor pure black for me, just gray. It would be nice to have a colorful life...
• Philippines
12 Oct 11
Hello, Jen. Must I say sorry for you, too.I guess, I don't have to but let me just give you a hug, dear, I know how it is to have a gray life. What can we do, we just need to keep dignified in front of our children. I wouldn't do such thing if I know it will hurt the people that matter to me most, my children. I won't tempt nor push my luck, whatever reasons I have, at their expense. I know that it will only make things worse and will bring forth more pain than happiness. Happiness via flirting and fooling around are just fleeting, but my kids' love and admiration for me as their mum is more than just skin deep. Bahala na si hubby if he wants to think of me that way, but of course, he can always come up to me and ask and I can tell him everything, no more no less. Sigh...
@jennyze (7029)
• Indonesia
12 Oct 11
Thanks for the hugs, mm it's warm... Actually I like it this way. I can see other people as what they are, with all their kindness and their faults. Maybe when I found my soul mate (would I ever...) I would see this world as being colorful again. Yes, your husband can just ask you or you can just tell him what he wants to know... either way works as my opinion cause you are a couple now.
@inertia4 (27961)
• United States
11 Oct 11
Why would he accuse you of flirting and fooling around? Did he hear or see something? I am not accusing you, but maybe he seen or heard something. Now what you have to do is prove to him that you're to flirting and fooling around. Unless he is just that jealous and now has it in his head and will not let it go. I know that you must feel as if you are in a catch 22. Now let me tell you something that you probably already know, usually the person that does the accusing is usually guilty themselves. So, look at it from that perspective. I hope it all works out for you.
• Philippines
12 Oct 11
Hi there, Inertia. Well, he did not see anything that's really flirtatious except for the lines 'let's go out'. and ' i miss you'. Of course, I am texting, why shouldn't I? But the question is WHO I AM TEXTING? If not a relative, it is a couple of good friends but definitely I'm not flirting with them. Those lines are from them because they want me to get a break, and what's wrong going out with friends and saying you miss them? Because I really do miss them. And even if they are inviting me to go out, there's no chance because I have to look for someone who will look after my kids while I"m busy being a friend. Going out is not possible at the moment and my husband knows that. You are right, though. This man is scared of his own ghost. If you knew my story , you will realize that these are the things I have been ranting here. He is the one doing this flirting and fooling around for years!!
@inertia4 (27961)
• United States
12 Oct 11
I feel for you. I understand. I was in a long marriage and I got burned big time. I never cheated on my wife nor did I ever flirt. But I guess she decided to to it instead of me. It does go deeper then that, but I think you get the picture.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Oct 11
hi surefemme oh thats dreadful to be acc used of that when you are innocent and by the man who swore he loved you., sounds like you are about to make a good decision. Make a clean cut for you and your children as living with someone who does not believe you can wear you into illness.Yes you need to make it official and start new.That's a real sad situation to be in I do feel for you. I was so lucky to marry a man whom I could trust and who always trusted me too.We were partners and a team. I have been widowed for a lo g time but we had 33 years of a good marriage.we weathered ups and downs and through it all stayed deeply in love which is priceless now days.
• Philippines
12 Oct 11
Hello, Hatley. How are you doing my dear? It has been ages since the last time I saw you here, not even a sign in your FB account, too. I wonder what has been keeping you too busy, my dear. But I'm sooooo glad to finally 'hear' from you. I have known/heard of your story. Didn't I tell you that you inspire me despite of my unlucky situation with hubby? It is an inspiration that a relationship like yours does exist. Sigh... I couldn't stop myself smiling and wishing, praying that I hope my relationship with my hubby will turn just like yours, too. What can I do, dear? Despite of the pains, if there's a person I really want to have a happy ending with , it is still with him... Back to my post, dear. I am not flirting nor fooling around. Not yet. LOL. I don't have the heart and the guts. Told you the reasons as mentioned above. :(( always be well, Hatley. Have a great day always and hope to hear more from you.*hugs*
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
10 Oct 11
Oh dear Yes, unless you are officially separated and legally separated. This is how we women are made of...to keep our dignity while men mess out theirs and never leave a little respect for themselves. have a good day
• Philippines
12 Oct 11
So, dear, it means I am hopeless. I don't think I want to leave him too soon or I have the guts to do it, not for me but for the kids. Daughter is asking me too often lately not to leave them, Oh, this is another story, though... Yes, one thing that this man should learn and take note of, we , women are not like them, at least most of us. Sigh... we would rather live without a man in our lives than taint our dignity and pride as a mother, wife but most especially, as a woman. We are not created to be weak and sinful/lustful.:-) Well, thank you, Jaiho,dear for dropping a line here. It is much appreciated. I'm so glad to 'hear' from you again.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
13 Oct 11
I think you should get started on that separation right away. I know how you feel of wanting to do these things - flirting and fooling around, but as long as it isn't official, don't give him the satisfaction of having a basis for his false accusations. Yes you still have the dignity! And you should use this to make the 'official' separation happen sooner.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
9 Oct 11
mmmmm, i see that one still live in his own little fantasy world sweetie. Maybe i should send the whips then. Tell him i said, "one normally sweep before your own front door, before making a mess in front of others front door."
• Philippines
9 Oct 11
Hello, sweetie... This is the reason why I stole your post from your FB the other day...I was so hurt and I wanted to convince myself that I already and truly had enough. My eyes are open and that I"m going to take the plunge to get a new life...I said I am going to pm you but I did not... I just don't have the energy to talk about it and even now, it feels heavy... I am not saying anything to him now, sweetie... I am not talking to him since yesterday...If you are going to send the whip make it fast so I can do something about his distorted thoughts and principles. A good whipping might do the trick... Sweetie, it seems that you're the only one who read my post completely... Sigh...
1 person likes this
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
10 Oct 11
Send me that pm sweetie. Lets get this out of the way, once and for all.
@EdnaReyes (2622)
• Philippines
10 Oct 11
Oh, i do tht flirting and fooling around but of course with my husband. I always make sure that romance and the thrill of flirting is always present in our marriage. It is what makes it going and when my husband stop me from this, that's the time i will think he's having an affair. If you make marriage works in serious ways and thread in straight lines, it can be the most boring one so learn to play around with your partner most of the time and see the difference.
• Philippines
12 Oct 11
You are so right about it, Edna. We should keep the flame burning, shouldn't we? You're husband is lucky to have a wife- also- 'mistress' like you in his life. You sure knew how to make a relationship works both for your favor and hubby, too. :-) Hmmm... that's a bit scary, huh. When he don't respond or respond differently, then, it is a bad sign, too obvious. I kust hope nothing like that will happen to you and your relationship. :-) Keep the love burning, dear. I'm happy to hear a story such as yours.
• United States
11 Oct 11
You really should keep your conversations with under strict control. It really isn't going to go well if your husband finds out. Also, all this extra love may make you less interested about your husband. Treat your husband well, because he is the only one that can father your children. See the light and the end of the tunnel?
• Philippines
12 Oct 11
Hello,Rovered. I'm sorry ,dear, if you have been confused about this discussion. My bad, it is my way of writing , perhaps. No, dear, I have not come to that situation yet.I AM NOT FLIRTING , BUT THIS IS JUST MY HUSBAND'S ACCUSATION. If you read the whole post you will see at the last paragraph that I made it clear that I am not flirting. :-) But, I do agree with what you said, if I'm still with my husband, I should treat him well. Yes, he is the only one who can be a father to our children and no matter what no one can ever replace him, that, is the fact. Don't worry, dear. As I have said, I AM NOT FLIRTING.
• Philippines
10 Oct 11
Oh my! sorry to hear about your story my friend! But how did your husband ever think that way? He should not give a drastic conclusion such that especially if it involves family. It really affects not only you but the whole family, especially the children. I hope you will gonna resolve that issue soon before it gets worst.
• Philippines
12 Oct 11
Hello, dear. Welcome to mylot and thank you for dropping a line here. Well, I'm just like everybody else who would text and feels comfortable with my friends. I don't mind telling my friends that I do miss them because I can only communicate with via via text (I do not go out and meet them even if I want to , long story, dear.) He should not give drastic conclusion about my texting because truth be told, he is the one doing all this. He has been the one fooling and flirting. I've already told him and voiced out the resentment. He seemed to acknowledge he was wrong but I'm not sure if it'll stop him from thinking I am doing something fishy behind his back...:(((
• Philippines
12 Oct 11
Wow! I also send messages to my friends especially those who are far and couldn't see often. Glad my husband is okay with it, but there are times that he will really ask the topic and everything. But that's okay with me, it only means that my husband cares. To doubt is okay but too much doubt is not good. Well, I think the one who is fooling around, is also the one who easily doubt and reacts to the highest level. I just remember this famous line "do not do unto others what you do not want others do unto you", so ironic on their part, isn't it? ;-0