What is the difference in your mind between these two questions?

Hi asyria! I understand your point. But i guess there's no reason for you to get pissed off either your husband would ask any of those two questions. For me when when he asked you, "How was your day?", i guess he simply wanted to know if your day went bad or good, or if you feel happy or sad on that certain day. Then, sometimes he would say, "What did you do today?", he probably would like to know the specific things you did the whole day.hehe..well that's my point of view. Have a great day friend! :-)

Those questions tend to be among the most common in my mind with people who are making some form of casual conversation. Of course, that does seem like people are going to be prying a lot of the time with those questions. Especially when they are asked in succession. Especially considering some of the things that I did, it might be tricky to answer. Not to mention, "how was your day", was a rather broad question to say the very least. Often times, we just tend to answer, "fine", because that is a catch all response. Of course, that causes the other question to be asked. It is two questions where one follows the other and they can be extremely agitating if you're caught in not the best of mindsets.

My brother is always what did you do today? Well I can't compete with someone 9 years younger who hasn't been through all I've been through. His list is like: chopped a cord of wood, finished finishing off a room, got my car fixed, collected bottles on the side of the road, etc.

These are common question when someone wants to know our situation same like saying "hello" and hi when we met someone we knew and we don't have time to chat for a while. It's fine with me,I can answer with simple reply like " i am fine" and maybe will excuse myself not to prolong the conversation. have a good day

Well, I think that is just a common question that a person asks. Maybe your hubby was not thinking of anything else. And you are right the two questions are just the same but the way they are constructed are different which may result to another meaning.

There is a difference between the two and that is why you find one of them annoying and the other not. 'What did you do today' is asking a personal question about your life, and I can understand that coming from some people it seems judgemental. The only time this question can be asked without misunderstanding is if someone has told you about what they have done, assuming you are interested, and then ask you about your activities because they are interested in you too. 'How was your day' is not so personal and can be answered in a general way. You can say it was good, it went well, or you have had better ones without needing to give any personal details at all.

To me, there IS a difference with those 2 phrases. How was your day, pretty much meaning was your day nice or not. That's one that can be answered with: not bad, could have done without all the rain today! In other words, it doesn't have to be anything specific when it's answered. I like to say: Not bad...how was yours? By saying that, it flip-flops the question right back to them and usually the conversation changes lol. What did you do today? For that I usually answer: same old, or SSDD (same stuff/different day.) Usually when somebody says that to you, they're not really asking what all you did that day; it's usually just a habitual way for somebody to start a conversation. I have to agree though, that when my mate used to come home from work and ask 'so what did you do today', it felt more like I had to defend my actions for the day. In hindsight, I don't think he was asking to check up on my activities or housework, I think in his mind it was more just a 'how'd your day go?' type thing. I got over it by not taking it as a personal insult, and looking at it as an interest in my day. Doing that made it easier to deal with somehow lol.