legitimate excuse...
By SilverVixen
@SilverVixen (284)
United States
October 14, 2011 5:25pm CST
So as some of you may know, my husband and I are going through a tough time in our relationship right now. I think its mostly due to not spending time together(and lack of respect). Any way we have never been on an actual date. Never. We've hung out with friends but never gone somewhere by ourselves. And lately it was because we didn't have money to spare. But I got to thinking earlier, that maybe its just an excuse. My husband does not have to spend $20 or so every Friday for lunch. He doesn't have to spend tons of money on snacks at work(if we buy and he takes them it would save $20 a week easy). Granted he does work hard and deserves to eat good every once.in a while, but don't I deserve it too? I work at home, picking up the house and chores he should help with. But I don't get to leave the house more than twice a month to get groceries. And burger king... which is a total waste of money but what he wants he gets... am I being selfish or paranoid? What do you think I should do about this, if anything? Thanks in advance.
5 responses
@Shar19 (8231)
• United States
14 Oct 11
It just sounds like he's making excuses because he doesn't want to spend time with you for some reason. Do you both get into a lot of fights? Maybe he's afraid that you will have a fight out in public together. However, I would still demand that you get to go out somewhere together at least once a month. There is no reason not too. You don't have to spend money. Go to the mall to walk around. Go to a park. This time of year there are all kinds of fall festivals you could go to also.
@SilverVixen (284)
• United States
27 Oct 11
No there really isn't a reason not to. We both love the renaissance faire, but I'm not sure we(or just me) will get to go because he doesn't want anyone to watch our kids. And that's one of the main reasons we cannot do anything... or I can't anyway.
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
22 Oct 11
Why dont you make arrangements before he says no, also why dont you try to save a few pounds shopping and let it mount up, until you have enough money and then surprise him.It do not cost a lot of money when there are two of you going out for a meal and if you have saved the money up over the weeks, it is money that is spare, so not money that you need for bills.
@bobosusanwang (135)
• China
15 Oct 11
Sounds like you two put your money together,which seems to me not so good. I never put my money together with my husbands', so I buy what I want,and he spends his money on the things he is interested in,when I want to do things together with him that will cost us money,I will in charge of the fees.
Women are apt to complaining,but sometimes it won't gain the attention of men. I think you should talk to your husband on how you are feeling,let him know what you are thinking of the problems between you and him,and split your money or put a samll sum to be prepared for when the two of you think you should spend some money together.
@naim_foroodi01 (95)
• India
15 Oct 11
i'm not married (yet) but soon to get married (next year)
i'm working and my fiancee is a doctor currently perusing her internship.
as u can imagine the hours are crazy and sometimes we hardly see each other.
well what i have deduced is:
1. that i was taking things for granted and was working hard at work without noticing it was affecting our relationship
2. we needed to just talk out loud and until she told me that we just needed to spend some time together i didn't actually realize what was going on in her mind.
so basically you just need to communicate with each other and trust me, sometimes guys just need to be told/hinted that you want something.
3. kill your ego - u both love each other and only that maters.
i'm really sorry to hear that you are going through something similar with your husband, i hope that things get better; which i'm sure should improve once the 2 of you start talking to each other.
@ichbinjian (2)
• China
15 Oct 11
I think both of you need to sit down and have a good talk. You need to tell him your thoughts and find a way to settle this problem.
