My guy friend keep acting like a girl.Shall i tell him?
By piya84
@piya84 (2580)
India
October 21, 2011 6:57am CST
I have a guy friend.He is nice person but he keeps doing lot of things basically which are not so manly.He sometime sound like a female. eg he has his photos on facebook where he try to look cute.He has pictures in garden where he sit in flowers.Also his pictures with his dog and he acting affectionate towards his mom.
He comes as a very strong emotionally while talking with any gender.Our common guy friends complain he acting like a gay sometime.
What shall i do .Shall i just point it out or shall i just keep mum.I wanted to point out because he keeps me bugging for arranging dates for him with pretty girls and they seem to run away form him.It has become headache for me.
1 person likes this
6 responses
@SpikeTheLobster (6399)
•
21 Oct 11
He's obviously a lot more comfortable with his masculinity than the vast majority of 20-something guys. Most of them are so busy trying to be macho and making fun of gentler men that they don't notice how stupid they look. As for the "complaints" that he's gay, maybe those are the wrong friends or not friends at all. "Me build fire, me hunt dinner, me big and strong, me real man," is an outdated way of thinking.
Of course, the down-side is that most girls don't realise how cool it is to have a guy around who appreciated the feminine side of life until much later. I know: I went through the same thing he is. Of course, a few years later, all those macho idiots were either divorced or lonely - and I have the perfect woman, who appreciates that it's entirely possible to understand the gentler side of life without being weak and/or homosexual. 
There's also the possibility he's a "mummy's boy", which isn't such a good thing as it can imply a certain weakness of character. Then again, I was affectionate with my mum and you wouldn't want to mess with me (intellectually speaking - I'm a pacifist but I'm by no means weak).
As for the situation, tell him if you like. He won't like it. You might want to suggest that it could be a problem for some girls but that if he's happy, it's all cool. And if you don't want to arrange dates for him, don't. It's not like that's your job or anything: I'm sure he'll still be your friend if you simply explained that you don't enjoy arranging them.
When it comes down to it, you could just tell him you don't want to arrange dates and leave him to live his life the way he wants to, regardless of any friends' opinion of him. 
There's also the possibility he's a "mummy's boy", which isn't such a good thing as it can imply a certain weakness of character. Then again, I was affectionate with my mum and you wouldn't want to mess with me (intellectually speaking - I'm a pacifist but I'm by no means weak).
As for the situation, tell him if you like. He won't like it. You might want to suggest that it could be a problem for some girls but that if he's happy, it's all cool. And if you don't want to arrange dates for him, don't. It's not like that's your job or anything: I'm sure he'll still be your friend if you simply explained that you don't enjoy arranging them.
When it comes down to it, you could just tell him you don't want to arrange dates and leave him to live his life the way he wants to, regardless of any friends' opinion of him. @piya84 (2580)
• India
21 Oct 11
As for the situation, tell him if you like. He won't like it. You might want to suggest that it could be a problem for some girls but that if he's happy, it's all cool. And if you don't want to arrange dates for him, don't. It's not like that's your job or anything: I'm sure he'll still be your friend if you simply explained that you don't enjoy arranging them.
Thats why i posted it here.Just wondering how to point it out without offending him.
He is not cool.He is confuse and frustrated why girls add him as a friend but refuse to date him.He is clueless.
I dont think so he will cut our friendship if i say no to arrange dates but its difficult to say no for me.He keep demanding my help in that area repeatedly.
1 person likes this
@SpikeTheLobster (6399)
•
21 Oct 11
This is the third time I've tried to respond... myLot's running about as fast as a disabled snail at the moment. :(
I see what the difficulty is now - (a) you're in India and (b) he's clueless.
If he asks for your help, may I suggest asking him if he REALLY wants your help or if he just wants someone to arrange dates for him. If he says he REALLY wants help, then tell him. Be diplomatic - explain that this is how people see things (not necessarily how they are) and that you're not judging, you're just relating what you hear. Oh, and try to avoid stuff like "You act like a raving poof" (no offense, that's humour) when you could say "You have a very developed feminine side and that makes girls uncomfortable because they see it as a sign of weakness."
I think it's only fair that, if he asks for your help, he gets actual help and not just a dating service (although you could charge him for the service, come to think of it... ).
If he asks for your help, may I suggest asking him if he REALLY wants your help or if he just wants someone to arrange dates for him. If he says he REALLY wants help, then tell him. Be diplomatic - explain that this is how people see things (not necessarily how they are) and that you're not judging, you're just relating what you hear. Oh, and try to avoid stuff like "You act like a raving poof" (no offense, that's humour) when you could say "You have a very developed feminine side and that makes girls uncomfortable because they see it as a sign of weakness."
I think it's only fair that, if he asks for your help, he gets actual help and not just a dating service (although you could charge him for the service, come to think of it... ).
@samson1967 (7411)
• India
21 Oct 11
It is obvious that he wants to be like girls and be with girls, it is not necessary for you to tell him that he his gay, because he his not gay and he wants live like female. actually such friends are not harmful and they care for girls. Being his friend why dont you have a date with him, to find about him?
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
21 Oct 11
Of course, you should talk to him. The point is to find out if he does it because he likes it OR does he do it unknowingly... In the latter case, you'll need to help him. Let him be with other guys for drinks and all, and he will be fine in a couple of days. Men tend to act panzily if they spend a lot of time with girls only.
But if he is behaving like that just because he likes it then its different. Its his personal choice. You can simply tell him that with his girlish behaviour it is impossible to find girls for him.
So the bottomline is: Find out the cause first... And you MUST talk to him to find it out...
Good Luck!!!
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
22 Oct 11
Hmm.. .I understand... So he is a Mama's kid.. LOL...
Well, there is no wonder, he behaves girlish... A fit man, if left in company of ladies only for only a couple of weeks, will act like a woman. There is no wonder your friend behaves like the way he does now. Well, let him be!!! What you can do is, make him join a gym... let him build his muscles and let him feel like a man... :) Good luck!
@CelticSoulSister (1640)
• Southend-On-Sea, England
24 Oct 11
Like SpikeTheLobster said, this man sounds totally confident in his maleness, and whichever side of the fence it may be on, with his sexuality. He to me sounds like a very honest, open, sincere and lovely person who isn't afraid to be himself, not scared of showing his feelings, emotions and artistic side. Him wanting to do those things doesn't necessarily mean he is gay although of course he might be. It's lovely that he has affection for his mum too. I find it very sad that people are discriminating against him regardless of whether he's gay or not, because at the end of the day, does it really matter? As for him wanting you to arrange dates for him, well, the fact that he asks for them to be girls is a strong indicator that he isn't gay, yet I'm wondering why he's asking you to do it for him? Maybe he is very shy and is far more confident talking online? If the girls are running away from him because he has a feminine side (which all men have - it's just that most of them are unnecessarily ashamed about it and try to hide it) and he isn't afraid of expressing it. I feel that the ones with the problem here are those people who aren't accepting him for what he is, rather than anything he's doing or saying.
@rmendoza123 (637)
• Philippines
24 Oct 11
Your friend got a lot of potential to be a "CHILD OF MADONNA". Plangak! Pasok sa banga! Aaaahmmm! Sight na sight! He's a gay!
@spyboysatya (148)
• India
22 Oct 11
I think you should tell him whatever you feel being with him, whatever you like in him and whatever you don't....and he is just a friend, if he take it as insult then you must tell him that how you wanted him to be to get a girls, what girls like and what they(you) don't....This way may be he'll get a pretty girl, and you'll be saved by his bugging...other way he is your friend and a nice guy as you mentioned.....
By the way it's just an opinion....
