"Just to let you know...."
By mommyboo
@mommyboo (13174)
United States
October 21, 2011 11:33am CST
Ok, this bugs me when out of the blue, someone starts off a conversation with this phrase. It sounds pretentious and like you think you are better than the other person because whatever it is you say AFTER is obviously something you believe the other person has no knowledge of - OR your intention is to shame them or call them out. It reminds me of 'no offense but'. NO OFFENSE BUT?? Everything you say after the 'but' definitely means offense and is intended that way, and you think you can avoid having a bad reaction from someone by saying that?
I'm not sure if people do this because they want to call others out or if they are truly trying to be nice, but 'just to let you know', it does NOT come off as someone being nice OR helpful.
3 people like this
3 responses
@lilblondiemjd (856)
• United States
21 Oct 11
I don't really take offense to when people say, "Just to let you know." I do, however, take offense when people say, "No offense but..." Because you know they're ready to say something that's driven by negativity, and most likely something insulting. It's like, why not just come out and say it? If you're going to say something negative, then don't say, "No offense," when it's an offensive statement. So I totally see where you're coming from.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Oct 11
or how about a medical person saying to you, " I don't want to
upset you but you" the hell they don't or they would not have said
that. I always want to yell back" why don't you just tell me what the heck is wrong with me please?"
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
21 Oct 11
It's not just the words themselves but the way people tend to say it - or the information they impart AFTER saying it. For instance - just to let you know, you have a green paper and you shouldn't be putting the green paper in the bins with the pink papers. Unless the person is colorblind, you would think they realize the papers are different colors, so sometimes it's just the condescending comments which come right after 'just to let you know'. Once in awhile someone is being nice when saying that, but they don't state something everybody already knows, know what I mean?
I HATE 'no offense but'. I had to put that there because it's a classic example of people using it to validate or justify insulting somebody.
@ladybugmagic (3978)
• United States
21 Oct 11
There is definitely a very sarcastic vein with those two leadins.
There could be some earnest uses, but I guess the test would be to substitute other words to see where they are coming from.
Like, "No offense, but - your perfume is a little strong and affecting my allergies." That would be excusable. But they could have led in by saying something else.
Or, "Just to let you know, the meeting is set for tomorrow. Not today."
Obviously, the context would have to apply.
I think, in most times, though, they are used in a derogatory/playful manner.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
21 Oct 11
Your example about the meeting is how it should be used, in my opinion. Far too often, people are using it as a way to validate jumping down someone's throat for some perceived lie or slight or something negative. The perfume was also a good way to use no offense, but you could have just said 'By the way, your perfume is a little strong and affecting my allergies'. People usually don't want to be the source of an allergy attack for another person.
@clearwater18 (695)
• Philippines
23 Oct 11
I think it depends with how the person who says it is using it in a sentence. Sometimes, when someone tells me that, I do get offended. It's like the person is saying negative comments at you but then, they're just trying to tell it to you nicely. But I don't think of it really as nice. For me, it's better if they will just say it straight to the point. It's better that way.
