What to do? Do I believe her?

@zenki08 (700)
Philippines
October 24, 2011 8:38am CST
Some of you might have read my previous posts about my ex flame, how she treated me. She treated me so bad. Now I just recently found out that she was really playing from the start. Now I met this girl, she's nice. she listens to me intently whenever we talk and she shows interest in me. We even became intimate already, one thing that did not happen between me and my ex. My dilemma here is that I'm not sure if I want or if I'm ready for another relationship. I'm being careful in getting into another relationship coz i'm afraid that like the previous one she would only be after my money. because like the previous one she is a little bit hard up on finances. A day after being intimate I got a message from her greeting me a good morning and telling me she loves me. Of course I care for her but I'm not sure if I love her. In fact I have not told her the L word. I don't know if I should take the risk.
1 person likes this
10 responses
@weasel81 (2499)
• Australia
24 Oct 11
Some people fall in love fast!! I know my partner did, I had only just met him in person when he told me he loved me. That scared me a lot, back then cause I was still a bit raw from off loading my ex. I had been abused and so i was being careful about men, and not wanting to get to involved and just take it slow. Which we did it took me a yr before we became offically a couple, apart from that it was more an open relationship. You will find a lot of women are just after money, especially if you've got a good job and extra cash. It's wrong that women do that, but men do it as well but you don't hear about it as much. In a sense if you are not really together as a couple, you should not have to give her money to help out. Unless you are one of those who are very generous as well, I'm a girl who wants to stand on her own to feet, and I don't ask my partner for anything unless I'm really needing it.
@zenki08 (700)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
yes I think she did fall in love fast. She knows that I am a bit hesitant. I don't know if she has noticed that I don't say I love you back.
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
24 Oct 11
I think you can't let a bad experience keep you from having a good experience. If this new girl seems different then your ex, give her a chance. Explain to her that you are scared of getting hurt. If you think it's about the money, don't give her any. If she's with you for your money and you aren't giving her any then she'll leave and you'll know you were right. Has she asked you for money?
@zenki08 (700)
• Philippines
24 Oct 11
Technically no she has not. I met her through my business dealings, so yes there is money involve because we do business but asking me directly or loaning money from me, she has not and I hope she will never do that. She basically knows about my ex coz I have told her what happened and she understands. When she told me she loved me I was surprised, although we have been intimate with each other. I thought we did it as friends I did not know she had feelings for me.
@narnia007 (1050)
• India
25 Oct 11
I could see how you feel.I am now in the similar situation.I recently only came to know that my ex girlfriend had been playing with me all along from the beginning.Now after knowing it,I am very much scared to trust any other girl who says she loves me.I got a girl who listens well and got feelings for me.But I was clear to her,that I am not in a position to trust her in love imeediately because of my situation now and explained her and made her understand and we decided to put some time to think about it.As for you,take time to think well about it.Don't rush into it.Right now,her care will be seen very much comforting especially when being hurt by your ex girlfriend.Just take your time to decide.
@Rosa26 (2618)
• United States
24 Oct 11
I don't think love grows from night time to morning time. Maybe she sees on you something very special and she is decided to love you, at my age I have realized that love is about decision. I think is good you don't her that you love her if you don't. Take your time try not to hurt her,and not get as deep that you feel compromise to continue in that relationship if you don't feel love. Don't judge her for what the other did. And try to think and reflect about your feelings and if you feel you are not ready for another relationship talk to her and try to be just friend for now.
• Malaysia
24 Oct 11
I think you in a little problem here coz female trade love for you know what but the male think it just friends. Can she take it that you not ready after that. What if after that it will hurt her feeling that she become like fatal attraction story?. Maybe you should stay for awhile to feel in the gap so your attention toward your ex will not be that strong also make sure you not choke by the new attention...
@phillyguy (3005)
• Philippines
24 Oct 11
This is another girl your talking about not your ex just because your ex hurt you and treated you bad it doesn't mean all of the girls you'll meet will do that too. give the new girl a chance and more importantly give yourself the chance to be happy again you deserve it. Just be more careful this time and don't get carried away by your emotions quickly take it slowly try to know her more and spend more time with her so you would know if you really are interested too and if you feel that it would work give it a try love is like a gamble you need to risk if you want to be happy there's no such thing as "sure" in love you need to take chances. God bless and good luck;)
24 Oct 11
hi:) I'm not really good in giving advices about relationships, but in your situation, all I can say is, if you're not that sure about you're feelings into the new girl, it means you really don't love her yet, coz if yes you'll surely wont hesitate anymore. so just take it slowly.anyway if you're meant to be,it will happen in time. goodluck!:)
24 Oct 11
Tell her (pieced together from your text): "I'm being careful in getting into another relationship (because) my ex flame treated me so bad. I just recently found out that she was really playing from the start." You're obviously interested and she appears to care. Simply explain the situation, so she knows how you feel and where she stands. Women are generally a lot smarter (emotionally) than men and understand a lot better than you'd think. (And no, that doesn't mean I think they're not smarter intellectually.) Be open. That way there's no misunderstanding.
• United States
24 Oct 11
If you really like this girl, take things slow and get to know her a bit. Only time will be able to tell what she's really after and if her feelings for you are true. When I first met my boyfriend I was so done with guys only trying to get one thing from me and I barely gave him the time of day at first. Slowly, we became really good friends (I knew he liked me) and he stuck around after months of being friends. When we finally started dating he never pressured me to do anything and he always made me feel really comfortable around him. So I definitely think that if this girl is truly interested in you, she'll stick around for you. Definitely be on your guard and look out for the warning signs that says she's playing you. It takes a while to be able to fully trust someone so don't rush into it. If you ever have any doubts, just come to myLot and I'm sure we'd be able to help out :)
@Ghajini (776)
• Philippines
24 Oct 11
I understand that you're confuse at the moment. My advice buddy is that you take things slowly, be patient enough to let your heart tell you what you really feel towards the girl. Be friends with her first, know her well and hopefully you will be able to know whether she has bad or good intentions.