What to do?

@nerein (283)
United States
November 5, 2011 10:56am CST
There is this woman that I had dated off an on for two and a half years. I finally got tired of her using me for my money and someone that she can throw her temper tantrums on. I know that here soon she is going to be in a really big financial crisis. I also know that she will come to me and once again expect me to take care of all of her problems. Now don't get me wrong she has a good heart, it is just that her mind is messed up. She refuses to take her medicine that makes her well. She just wants someone to take care of her and deal with temper tantrums. I mean that when it happens I would like to help her, but I am tired of being used only for my money and to be someone that she can throw her temper tantrums on. What should I do?
10 responses
lean0417
@lean0417 (14)
•
5 Nov 11
hi there. first, ask yourself. "What do you really want out of this situation?" You said, you're tired of everything. and yet, you're still willing to help her. Charity work is another thing. I think, you should talk to her and make things clear once and for all. By the looks of it, it seems like your girlfriend is suffering from a mental condition,(I assumed she takes some sort of anti-depressants based on what you mentioned above.) There's no easy way to tell someone that you'll be dumping her soon. If you still want to help her, then offer friendship instead, but nothing more. hope it helps.
iuliuxd
@iuliuxd (4453)
• Romania
5 Nov 11
yeah that`s great."I am sick of you,2 years and a half are enough and i think i can find something better...but we can still be friends and make sure you take your pills every day ...see you later " .It works great if you are the other one,it may not work that great if you are the person in need.Very tough decision.
lean0417
@lean0417 (14)
•
5 Nov 11
you may tell her it's over, but tell her in a nice way,not as blunt as what was mentioned above. as you've said, your girlfriend has some sort of temper problems,a mental condition that can only be controlled by medications. if you'll tell her it's over as blunt as mentioned above, she may take it badly and may result in a breakdown. or maybe she can be violent and hurt you or herself physically.you'll never know. whatever it is, tell her it's over. nothing more. just don't add salt to an open wound.don't add insult to injury. @iuliuxd (504): no offense meant.
iuliuxd
@iuliuxd (4453)
• Romania
5 Nov 11
I think my nick on mylot is iuliuxd not iuliuxd (504) (btw i`m 507 now ) I wasn`t trying to tell him what to tell to that girl i was trying to tell you what`s inside your mind when you will dump her "in a nice way" .Of course you can tell her anything you want to make this more easier but you still need to make peace with your own conscience (unless you are jackass and you have no conscience).I don`t talk about you or him but the truth is we dump people because we find something better and we are selfish not because they change.
gagagaohlala
@gagagaohlala (294)
• Philippines
6 Nov 11
Don't ask what you should do from others, ask yourself first what you really want to do. If you still love her, it should be unconditional. If it's just because you want to help with her condition, then it is a different story. You're not a doctor nor a social worker. Let her seek professional help. I hope she gets better and you can finally come up with a decision on what to do with your relationship. God bless!
ebuscat
@ebuscat (5935)
• Philippines
6 Nov 11
For me be good and wise choose your time to be in that case.
Mashnn
@Mashnn (4501)
•
6 Nov 11
If you are really sure that she likes you because of your money then there is no need of accepting her back. I think those tantrum are not normal for an adult and also refusing to take medication. I think she may have another problem that might be stressing her but you don't know. You can try to find out with her.
Aja103654
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
6 Nov 11
seek professional help. the way i see it, you are not to be blamed. you are not directly responsible for her after all, since you are not married.
whatsupxXx
@whatsupxXx (10)
• United States
6 Nov 11
How was she doing before you met her?
KARENAKADIMPLES
@KARENAKADIMPLES (122)
• United States
5 Nov 11
Friendship doesn't cost a dime. I think you're better off with keeping her as a friend and nothing more. Tell her the 'bank' is officially closed for good. I'm sure she'll move on with no problem. Makes me wonder how many others are victims in her life.
pahak627
@pahak627 (4558)
• Philippines
5 Nov 11
It's up to you. Think of it if keeping away from her is really what you want to do. It seems that you pity her and maybe you're in love with her. What I can advise you is to get away from her. That's the best that you should do. Think it over and over.
iuliuxd
@iuliuxd (4453)
• Romania
5 Nov 11
Isn`t this nice ? You are having a relationship with someone ,probably loved her for a while then one day you discover what a bad person she is (using you for your money ,have a messed mind etc. ).Well i think she was the same since the day one but we refuse to see some things as long as we need our partner .As soon as we don`t need them anymore we start to find excuses to get rid of that person.I think you already know what to do,dump her and move to the next one and you will be fine for the next two and a half years.
WakeUpKitty
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
5 Nov 11
She will never get into a financial crises. You left she will find an other idiot who will feel pity for her and help her out. This is how it works with people who are always abusing others to solve their problems and pay for their bills. Go on with your life instead of being worried about someone who doesn't deserve it and is not loving you at all. Just delete her. And if you find it hard to not give in again, and again, while hating yourself for that, tell yourself you will help her as soon as she helped you. Treat others exactly the way they treat you! That way not all the beggard, losers and scammers will knock on your door.