Should men share the cooking duties?

@curmont (343)
United States
November 6, 2011 2:18pm CST
I was told recently by a friend of mine that it is a sin for a woman not to feed her husband. At first I thought he was joking but once I realized he was serious I was appalled. I thought that the idea that women had to do all the cooking, and make sure her husband was greeted with a hot meal everyday was a thing of the past. Yes, I cook for my husband several times a week but not everyday and certainly not every meal in fact I expect that he shares the cooking duties. How do things work in your relationship...does the men share the household duties or are the women expected to cook the meals and clean the house?
7 people like this
43 responses
• United States
6 Nov 11
Adrian cooks better than me. But,he loves the way I cook so he will try to go without cooking. I made he cook on his days off now. So,that I and not the only one cooking. He cleans the house all the time and I do the laundry. He will put away his clothes and I put away mine. I know you did not ask for all this. I just rambled on right. Take care.
3 people like this
@jaiho2009 (39174)
• Philippines
6 Nov 11
My ex-hub cooks better than me. I even learned a lot of good menu from him. He loves to eat so he loves to cook. Besides, great chef and cooks are men not women. So, men should know how to light the stove and saute.
2 people like this
@GemmaR (8517)
7 Nov 11
I think that there are a number of things that you need to think about when deciding which of the couple does the most work around the house. If, for example, one of you only works part time while the other works full time, then you should probably come to the conclusion that the one who works part time should be doing just a little bit more around the house. If both couples work equally though, then you should probably work out a rota so that each of you is able to do little bits of work around the house.
1 person likes this
@Ramsesxlll (1436)
• Finland
6 Nov 11
That depends on one's culture and country (wether women are expected to take care of the "cooking duties" or not). In our country, both women and men have the same rights, and even though men and women are supposed to be "equal", women get paid less in a same job and same education than what a man would for example. That is only ONE of the differences. Our "equality" comes straight from the wars we had with "the mighty USSR", when all the men had to go fight on the battlefield and women took over the jobs, thus getting to do work. When the war ended and the men came back, women kept their right to work. It's as simple as that. Now I believe I went a little off-track again, so let's try to focus on the subject, shall we? Now... In order to finally answer your question: Of course! I mean, why not? In some families, they might have their own deals on who does and what, and we should respect that as long as it doesn't violate the rights of one (or several) family members. P.S. You shouldn't forget about homosexual couples. Your question might offend them, because they were totally excluded from it.
1 person likes this
@curmont (343)
• United States
7 Nov 11
Honestly I am ashamed but I never even thought about homosexual couples when I posted the discussion. I was so shocked by the stone age comment that I guess I kinda acted stone age myself. Apologies to all my homosexual friends, I think you rock! I would love to know how the dynamic works in your relationships as well, does one person do all the cooking or do you share the duties.
1 person likes this
• Finland
7 Nov 11
Hmmm.... Was that "I would love to know how the dynamic works in your relationships as well, does one person do all the cooking or do you share the duties." part meant for your homosexual friends, or me? I got kinda confused by your comment. It's almost suggesting that I am homosexual, which I am not. Altough I have nothing against gay people, it doesn't really help my "reputation" with the ladies if I am called as such, if you know what I mean ...but no, I am not looking for a girlfriend on myLot
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Nov 11
Most of the time, when it's time to cook, my boyfriend and I usually cook together. I find it fun cooking with him, but that's probably because he's quite random. That actually makes the cooking go by faster for us, when we work together to finish it all. Either that or one of us would just decide to cook for the other if he/she is busy with something at dinner time. I think that it's important in a relationship to share all or most of the duties and to help one another out, but that's just my opinion. =] For instance, if there's something that we both hate doing, we would simply take turns doing it so it'd be fair. I would have probably been just as surprised hearing what your friend said though curmont. I thought that was a thing of the past too because so much has changed since then and it's no longer considered realistic, but I'm sure there will always be someone out there that still believes that like your friend does.
2 people like this
• United States
7 Nov 11
I think everything should be equal or have some kind of balance. If you are a stay at home Mom or a homemaker and Hubby makes all the money, then yeah, I think that it is the least that you could do. If you guys both share the bills, then share the meals, LOL. If he is stay at home Dad, and Momma is the Bread winner, then why can't Daddy whip up a meal? I know we had some friends that had to stay with us for a a little bit, a while back and I was amazed that the wife made it her duty to make 3 HOME COOKED MEALS for her Husband every single day! I just could not believe it. My husband on the other hand, absolutely loved it because he got 3 home cooked meals too and it was nice on me to not have to cook everyday, but I had to put an end to that after a while, because I didn't want my Husband to get that crazy idea that I was going to be doing that. With all that being said, I think it is just fair to have balance. help each other out so not one person has to bear the responsibility alone. That's fair right?
1 person likes this
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
8 Nov 11
I agree, it is fair for both in the relationship to share the duties.
• Canada
6 Nov 11
Wow... I don't believe it's a sin for a woman not to feed her husband... and I agree with you that it's an antiquated way of thinking. However, I think it's great when people can share the cooking duties! Just like any other household tasks, I think we should share the responsibilities between those in the home. No reason that one person has to bear all the burden. I've always done the laundry for me and my daughters and in any relationship I've been in... I just prefer to do it myself because I guess I'm a little fussy about it LOL I have always done all the cooking too but that's because I've never been in a relationship with a man that can actually cook. It would be soooo fun to me to have a man cook for me!
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Nov 11
With anyone who shares a home, be it married couples, unmarried couples, family or just roommates (unless there are physical or medical limitations) they should share all household duties. The idea that it's the "woman's job" is so far beyond absurd. You both live there, you both are responsible for it.
1 person likes this
@Galena (9118)
6 Nov 11
within any couple each person falls into the roles that they enjoy most, and that they are most able to tolerate. I love to cook, so I do most of the cooking. but that's not because I have a womb, that's because I am a good cook that enjoys cooking. mostly because I love to eat. on the other hand, I hate doing the bathroom. my husband doesn't mind it as much as I do, so he does it, mostly. it's not about gender. it's about what you enjoy doing and about what you really don't like doing.
1 person likes this
@tash01 (2031)
• Jamaica
7 Nov 11
My husband loves to cook,so a lot of the time he will cook.If he is off from work, he will cook dinner. So every time,he got his day he would cook.bit other am i cook an make breakfast,I just love when he get his day off. he help me out a lot when he is on his day off, so am very grateful for that.but i do most of the work,because he work all the time.
1 person likes this
@stanley777 (9354)
• Philippines
12 May 12
When i am around, i m the one who does the cooking and sometimes my wife helps me.. My wife doesn't really like to cook and only does it when i am out and working.. I agree, couples should share work around the house.
@deliar (609)
• Indonesia
6 Nov 11
housesold duties - there are some of household duties that women should do.
caring her childrens, cooking, cleaning the house.
i think it really exhausted.
Women is really strong.
they can do all of that thing by herself.
In my place,houseduties is done by women. many things, from cooking, cleaning the house, washing clothes and many more. in my culture, all of that thing is a duty for women. and for men is working. for me,because i dont get married now, maybe in the future i will share household duties with my wife. i will not let my wife too exhausted because of all of that thing. i will help her and i will try cooking. and with helping her,i am sore that my relationship will be better with my wife. that is my way to show my love to her. Cheers.
• Philippines
7 Nov 11
Men usually have a different palate than women and their style of cooking is different but I think that they are naturally better cooks than us women. :D It will be sweet when a family man finds a time to cook for his family, that would be awesome! Traditionally, women's primarily role is to take care of the family and I believe that cooking for them is one on the list. Men's roles are usually targeted to providing for the financial assistance and discipline to the children so having them to cook for the family is someone a taboo and in that case, will surely surprise and make the entire family happy.
• Philippines
7 Nov 11
*somewhat a taboo
• Philippines
7 Feb 13
In my take, every relationship should have a give and take part in the relationship process. This also includes sharing different tasks and obligations. One should also serve her partner be it cooking or other house hold duties. This also gives the sense of sharing house responsibilities at home. Not to mention that you pull effort on putting this notion of sweetness to your partner.
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
8 Nov 11
I truly believe if both people in the relationship contribute financially to the household the chores should be split. Of course that's not the way it tends to work in all households. In a perfect world it would work that way for me 100% of the time. But I have to say it doesn't. I tend to do about 85% of everything around the house, besides taking out the trash and mowing the yard. Although I work a full time job and a part time job, as does my husband, I still tend to do most of the cooking, most of the laundry and a majority of the other household chores in addition to 100% of the grocery shopping (because I use a lot of coupons and won't send him to do the shopping).
@Hatley (163984)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Nov 11
hi surmount my husband not only shared cooking duties he worked as a cook He was actually a much better cook than I was. I miss him for so many reasons one of which was his beef stew, to die for it was' that good. We actually did share all sorts of household duties. I think all men should know how to cook as when they are in their twenties a good many y oung men are batching and need to know how to cook at least a few simple things so they will not ha ve to spend all their money eating out all the time.all men should be able to share cooking duties with their wives. It is good for them to see that they expect too much from one woman.to me its a sin not to see them help cook.
@tod266 (85)
• Thailand
8 Nov 11
I am happy if my husband help me to work at household duties... in the pass our culture is women should take care house. but now i think, because of women also work out side same as man.. if husband love his wife he should help wife to take care and share the household duties. in my house my husband cook and we share household duties.. :)
• Khaimah, United Arab Emirates
8 Nov 11
My husband cook for me most of the time. I'm not into cooking viands, that's why he's the one who do it for me. I usually love baking, that's why when it comes into sweets, it's all my turn.:-)
@ShyBear88 (54382)
• United States
8 Nov 11
I would be appalled by that two we aren't in the time any more where women are barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. I was raised that a men and women work together and share all duties in the house. I do cook for my husband but his cousin, myself also cook at least one meal a week either for themselves or for all of us. My husband is home at 6pm and that is normally a bit early for dinner so one of us will cook it and we take turns doing so. We also take turns doing the dishes, taking the trash out, walking the dog, putting our baby to bed. Right now I'm doing it all because my husband just had surgery and can't bend over or lift anything for another 2 weeks. But he does try to help with that he can so it is a bit easier on me.
• Philippines
8 Nov 11
Of course,we,men must share the cooking duties. Here in our country, everyone should participate in cooking meals/dishes. It is a shame for us for not to do the cooking, neighbors or other relatives would call us 'lazy' if we not. Though, it is not required, but it is some kind of responsibility in the household and for having your own family.