Think Twice before Lending Money to Relatives
By Queen_11
@Queen_11 (307)
Philippines
November 9, 2011 12:46pm CST
This is a reminder that I will always follow. Many times I've already been a victim of relatives that are only good in borrowing money but when in comes to paying, you'll surely hear a lot of excuses. I have difficulty in denying their requests not because they are relatives but simply because they need help. I want to help as much as I can. When they want to borrow, they'll exert all efforts just for you to give in to their requests. But when it comes to paying time, you'll hear nothing from them. I am not making any profit out of the money they've borrowed from me for I believe that it is not a good thing to do. Getting frustrated and heartaches because the money borrowed has already been a year and she fully know well that I am also going to use it, I told a relative to forget the money she owe me. She did not even thank me for that. Another relative also borrowed from me and she no longer paid half of what she owe me. I no longer reminded her about it. I was angry before because of what they did but it quickly disappeared. What I know is that I just don't want to see them. I am at peace with myself :) Based on my experience, a non-relative is better in paying their obligations. Were you also a victim of such relatives? How did you handle them? Any tips on how to politely decline any such requests? :)
1 person likes this
14 responses
@abatencila (970)
• Philippines
9 Nov 11
I guess we must also be generous sometimes. We just learn how to know who really needs the help and those that are not. There is nothing bad if you lend money to someone who's in need. They won't ask for it if they don't they it badly. God give us those blessings to share and not keep for our self. You can't bring your money if you die.
@Queen_11 (307)
• Philippines
9 Nov 11
During that time, I was also on a tight budget because I was saving for my wedding. I made her understand that she needs to return it on the day we agreed upon because I also have my payment obligations. She broke our agreement and I was left to think of ways to have my own payments met without delays.
@00fear (3216)
• United States
10 Nov 11
Wow. I wonder why they do that. They say they are there for each other no matter what but when it comes to money, they break that promise. Whenever I lend my relative (its only one relative I lend money to) money, she has always paid me back. Yea she's taken time to pay me back but she wouldn't take that long. In fact she's someone I shouldn't charge because of the fact that she took care of me when I was a child, but I do since I need the money. The first time she asked for money, she told me she was going to pay me back later but when I did that later didn't come (or in this case, it came even later) days went by and I went to her house just to visit, not to remind her about the money she owed me but she did, she paid me. She asked me to let her borrow money again as time went by, and in those time, she'll pay me back.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
oh, yeah! a lot of times. what is sad about it is they are not distant relatives, they are my brother and sisters. i cannot reject them because they are the remaining closest relatives i have. but they keep on borrowing and they do not pay. sometimes i have to even borrow money for them. i could understand that if they need money but there are other things i prefer to mention here that made me reluctant to give in.
you do not have to worry to much. if you feel not wanting to lend, then so be it. it is your choice and no one should question that. 
cheers!
cheers!
@sql_cell (1427)
• Indonesia
10 Nov 11
I hate the people who like to borrow money, and it is difficult to pay. If someone came to me, to borrow money, I will not lend. In addition, my money is very limited. I also do not want a bad relationship. I experienced something like that one time, and I do not want to experience again.
@megamatt (14292)
• United States
10 Nov 11
Yeah I don't really like lending money to anyone. There have been a few times where I have gotten burned. It might have been less than a handful of times but that less than a handful of times where it is going to really be something that has happened way, way too much at all. When I lend money, I expect it to be paid back. I mean I would do the same thing. It just seems like common sense and the right thing to do. I guess I was wrong.
Relatives if anything are worse. They are going to try and get out of paying back some of the time due to the fact that they are related. They try and guilt trip you even worse. Of course, when there is money involved, I don't care, if I lend it to you, you better be paying it back. So that's why I am not going to lend out any money. Just too many times where I didn't get it paid back. One of them was from relatives as well. It's just not worth it. Just tell them that you're barely getting by yourself.
@clearwater18 (695)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
Be it relatives or friends, they're the same. Although not all of our relatives or friends are like that, most of them are. I don't know why. I guess it's the nature of the relatives to be like that. They just tend to abuse your kindness and just think that you'll forget their debts since you're just relatives after all. But I don't think that's a good excuse. I guess the next time they borrow some money, you should at least tell them to pay back because you also need the money. After telling them, they might get angry at you but then just let them understand that you can't just always let them borrow and not pay because you also have things to buy for yourself and your family, you still need to pay some bills and taxes.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
I would agree to you. I meant no offense but certainly i have seen a lot of cases like these where the one who lend the money did not receive the money back already and if he/she tries to get a few of the amount, then she becomes the person who can't understand, he becomes the person who does not seem to care about a relative, and so on.
@johnscoolplace (389)
• United States
9 Nov 11
I think that depending on the situation, and amount of money lent you need a 3rd person if your borrowing a few dollars 5-10$ not much I wouldn't worry about it the matter of trust when you start getting into higher amounts then that because you need to understand there situation may not be that great. as for me I borrowed 400$ from my brother the only thing I have ever borrowed back from any family member of that amount. I paid him back 200$ at tax time last year, I still owe him 200$ I will pay him back this year at tax time 200$ and I'm debating paying him a little more to call it interest. It all depends on the situation I know taking 2-3 years to pay back someone as in my case is a long time and shouldn't have taken that long but I ran into some difficult patches in my lifetime and have explained to him what the reason for this was. he understands and greatfully appriciates the fact that he has helped me so much with that small amount. It just depends on your personal situation. You should never charge family interest because your family. But if its a big loan use a 3rd party such as a bank that way they will pay back, or atleast pay someone.
Thanks,
jon
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
9 Nov 11
It's really hard to decline or say No to our relatives.
They always expect us to lend them and when we say No, they will be hurt.
Worst part is, they will spread bad words against us (not every relative, but most)
I always try to help, but giving or lending a big amount...I've learned my lesson too.
@Graceekwenx (3160)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
Welcome to Mylot Queen! I wont even think twice before lending money to anybody. Nobody pays me back either. That was a hard and expensive lesson i learned. I would also agree with you that a non-relative though is better in paying their obligations. It really sucks when people dont pay you back!!!
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
i would always want to help my relatives but then when it comes to money, i am not able to. i hate to let them borrow money because i almost know that they will not be paying back or worse pay you back in like ten years which you already forgot about it. thanks for the advice by the way.
@tamirs (1807)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
Im so tired of lending money to relatives because they always don't pay back.
So now what i am doing doing when a relative wants to lend money, Ill just give what i have in pocket but not much or if the reason is enough to give them.
Its really hopeless to get the money you lend to relatives..
@MRconrad01 (148)
• United States
9 Nov 11
I haven't had any problems with this from my family. My mother messed up both my older brother and my father's credit scores when I was younger because of her inability to handle money efficiently. Because of this, my father always instilled in me not to let my relatives handle any of my money and to always handle my own finances to the best of my ability. So far, so good! I know my relatives will basically never pay me back if I loan them money. I love them, but I'm not going to sacrifice the money that I worked hard on earning disappear in a matter of seconds.
As far as friends go, I will always loan my friends money, or sometimes just give them money, because a lot of them are in worse financial situations than me, and I want to see them prosper. Thankfully most of them have too much pride to ask for money, so I rarely ever have to give anything to them, but if they ask, then I will give it to them. I see no reason not to because I trust them, and I know they'd do the same for me.
