how do you get your mind off of unpleasant things?

Arghh - Get out of my head ://
South Korea
November 28, 2011 4:05am CST
Hello everyone, Life has been so overwhelming.. I swear 2011 has proved to be one of the worst times of my life. There have been some good things but the bad things WOW~!! I am just so tired of everything.. I'm going through one of the roughest patches of my life right now. I want everything to be over soon but I just can't get my mind off of it Please can someone tell me how do I get my mind off of something that's been bothering me so bad? I keep telling myself to forget everything and move on and I keep promising myself I will not think about it but I am just lying to myself. Please help me
15 people like this
57 responses
• Philippines
28 Nov 11
Hello. I'm sorry about everything you are going through. Everything would be alright soon, don't give up. Each one of us has our own way of coping to hard times. Mine would be playing with my cats . They are my bestfriends. I don't know, but whenever I'm with them, I always forget about the bad things that happened to me for that day. Maybe it's because of their cuteness or whatever. What I know is they are the ones who always cheer me up when I'm down. Maybe you should get a pet too. Whatever way you can find to 'get your mind off of unpleasant things', you know that it would be temporary. After some minutes, this dark feeling would creep back in your heart and would make you feel lonely. I guess the best medicine for this is time. Time would heall all your wounds, just wait for it. It might take months or years but after that, you will be a stronger person than before. I would pray for your better situation thatgirl. I hope you'll be alright soon. Good luck to you.
2 people like this
• South Korea
28 Nov 11
Thank you so much, Your response definitely made me feel a lot better. And like you said, time is indeed the best medicine, but I just hope this goes away soon. And sadly I don't have any pets. I used to have a dog when I was a kid but after that no pets. Had some gold fishes couple years back but we just couldn't take care of it :( I think I am not a pet person but I am glad you have your cute little pets to get your mind off of unpleasant things And thank you for your prayers. You are really very kind and I hope you know that it means a lot to me
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
28 Nov 11
Do things that are of interest to you. Go out to your friends and enjoy their company. Lastly, do Mylotting!
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
28 Nov 11
great advise here... do mylotting ...precisely
• South Korea
28 Nov 11
Thanks a lot! I have been hanging around with friends and it does help me get my mind off things but at the end of the day when i am hone alone, all those thoughts come back again I had been out of here for the longest time. I am starting to mylot again. Thanks
• United States
29 Nov 11
You pray to God always. He wants us to come to him with our problems and hurts no matter what. Pray and try to stay away from negative things as much as possible.
@derek_a (10874)
28 Nov 11
Well... As a Zen practitioner, I get my mind of unpleasant things by focusing even more on them. You cannot really fight the mind once it gets on to things that we'd rather not think about. In Zen we view them as visitors into our awareness that won't go away until we have at least acknowledged them. As a therapist, I have always recommended to my clients that when something disturbing comes to mind, that they just focus on all the thoughts and feelings of "what if" or dread, as strongly as they can, and just watch them disappear like toothless phantoms. It always works, but it is a question of being will to feel worse, before one feels better. I also practice what I teach as I am not immune to worrying about things. If I find myself worrying, I focus strongly on it, and it disappears. Some worries take a little longer than others, but once the mind has been taken notice of by our awareness, it naturally drifts on to other matters in life, that could be more pleasurable. It is good to also talk to closed friends and/or a therapist, if the issues are particularly deep-rooted. Writing on a large sheet of paper - or word processor, all that you are worrying about without trying to censure anything that you are writing down. You don't need to keep your writings afterwards, as once it is come out of the subconscious mind, it tends not to get back in there again. _Derek
1 person likes this
@derek_a (10874)
28 Nov 11
Writing what your feeling right here and now, is more beneficial than writing down possibilities, because possibilities are not certain. However, if your feelings are have strong links to possibilities, then you are feeling about things that may or may not come to pass. Take time for writing, and remember to write whatever comes to mind. It is a good idea to start each thought you are writing about with the words... "Right now I am feeling...." (and then write that feeling down)... and then again and again even if it is a very similar thing, or doesn't make sense. Keep going until there are no more problems you can think of. Remember to expect nothing, and that way, you will see benefits or get deep insights into the way you are feeling.. Good luck with it, and message me whenever you wish.. _Derek
1 person likes this
• South Korea
1 Dec 11
Hello there, I tried what you said and wrote down what i felt, whatever came to my mind. I felt a lot lighter I promise. Thank you so much for your advise. I still have a lot of things to sort out but you did help me very much and I thank you for that. May god bless you
1 person likes this
• South Korea
28 Nov 11
Hey thanks you so much for your response. I think it makes a lot of sense, facing the problem. I am so fed up, I am willing to do whatever I have to to get this nasty feeling off of me. So do you suggest that I think of all the possibilities and write them down? I don't know why but I am thinking that might help me. Thanks
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Nov 11
Well, I come in here and look for something humorous to help turn my mood, or someone who needs a verbal hug..anything to get my mind and mood turned towards thinking of someone but myself..Enjoy!
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Nov 11
Yes, it really does help to come here. It takes my mind off myself when I am hurting or depressed. I like helping people when I can.. and of course I like laughing at funny things people write too.
@Rosa26 (2618)
• United States
28 Nov 11
Thee was a time in my life when I was in a depression that happened 10 years ago. When I was the process of my divorce, I lost 50 pounds, I lost all my friends,and the love for myself. But i could recover from that getting a job, I used to work 7"00 am to2:00 pm and those were the only hours that was not crying or mad. So I decided to receive God in my life and I began to help children in critical situation which helped me to understand that I was not the only one with problems, and that instead of being sad for my pain, I had to be thankful because all those bad things that happened to were just lesson of life that O learnt and that now I am free of that because now I have the concius of never allow that nobody try to ruin my life. Another thing I did was practice exersices walking is good because it makes you don't think about bad things, it help you to see all the good things of the life.. I hope that I have helped you and you can do what I did to overcome of the problems.
1 person likes this
• South Korea
26 Dec 11
Thank you so much for the response and I am so sorry that you had to go through all that. reading your response I can tell that you have found your peace and are better now I am feeling a bit more better than i was feeling when I started this discussion. My friends and family help me a lot to forget all that i am in right now. But I do wish things get better for me and everyone next year. Hope you have a great year
• United States
29 Nov 11
Ah! i have the same problems. Sometimes i let things eat away at me and i keep telling my self to move on or forget about it but by keeping busy doing things i love to do or talking to someone i can trust (my bestfriend) usually helps me get things off my mind. i wish you the best!
1 person likes this
• South Korea
26 Dec 11
thank you so much! I wish you the best too. And yes like you said, my friends do help me get my mind off things and so does my sister. Life without them I just can't imagine.
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
28 Nov 11
You will be ok this is a part of life, ying yang I think they call it, must be ups and downs this is what makes us appreciate the good times in our life, every day is a new day so to speak, I hope things get better for you thatgirl...
• South Korea
28 Nov 11
Hey thank you so much for your kind words. This year has really taught me to appreciate life more though, and has also taught me to appreciate happiness no matter how small. I hope everything turns out good soon. Thanks
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
28 Nov 11
Hi there... We're on the same boat... Even i'm going through the worst phase of my life... I try to do what I like the most... Like reading and myLotting... The key is to be busy with the things that we love the most... Take care... If you want you can write here when you're low and you'll get good advices... Good Luck!
1 person likes this
• South Korea
28 Nov 11
Hey thank you so much. It does feel a lot better knowing you're not alone. I am feeling so down I think I have hit rock bottom now. Hopefully things turn out good for you and me from this point on. I will try to keep myself busy thanks. Take care
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Nov 11
that girl hi I have not had a great year either so am mylotting to get my mind of this tiresome retirement center and the fact that I am still stuck here . Also I listen to music and do graphics on my computer as those ate things that really make me happy.if there is anything you can actuall do to make your own life happy do that first but if there is not then find things you love to do and do that with all your heart. hobbies, or sewing,knitting,cooking,writing poetry,you name it and you do it. also take som time to volunteer in a hospital or a nursing home,or even a retirement center. you will be taken away from your problems and absorbed by other people.
1 person likes this
• South Korea
26 Dec 11
hey thank you so much for the response. i have been hanging out a lot with friends these days rather then locking myself in my room which I had been doing for a few weeks before. it does help to be around people and not by yourself. I am not all ok but I am getting better. I would love to go volunteer :) I hope you have a good year next year and may get everything you wish for. Happy Holidays
• Pamplona, Spain
28 Nov 11
Hiya TG, I would agree with Lara T. You can get to feel so lonely and in the darkest moments of your life. When I was about 11 was one of my worst years and when I lost my three Babies and no one seemed to care either and I had to see everyone with newborn Babies and me with a great loss. Not only that everyone asking me what had happened as well. Have also had to sell my own House twice let others go because of big problems caused by other People but you can come out of it all depends on the depth and the will you have to see the rough seas through. Lara gives some great advice very often its not a question of will power you have more strength when you can let it all be which can take a very long time to achieve. Its always great to have a shoulder to cry on as well if you have. I wish I could cheer you up more.xxx
1 person likes this
• South Korea
1 Dec 11
I am so sorry for all the losses you had to go through. You are indeed a strong individual and I pray you only get stronger. Compared to what you've been through I guess my misery don't seem that big. You could come out of that and I am not definite I can come out of this too. Thank you so much
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
28 Nov 11
Hiya TG, First of all sorry to hear that things have been so bad for you. I think most of us have felt like it´s been the worst year of our lives we have all been through one of those Years several times by now. You don´t forget everything right awayindeed you would be very fortunate not to suffer at all anything you would be like a rare gem. I would not challenge that situation because it will only turn into a tidal wave in the finish. Don´t try and sit on it either like swallowing your feelings cry them out throw things if you have to let all those negatives come up and go. I am sort of feeling like that now but I am managing it the best way I can and thats the way life is do what you can but trying to jump over it or get around it just like that is not as easy as it can seem. I talk to mine but they think I am from another Planet they don´t understand that wavelength at all so I just let them go and let them get on with it. One has just lost his Job and is angry at the World right now only normal and the other one is about to lose one of his Jobs too they both react the same.xxx Hope this helps not much comfort to say that there are so many People out there in the same boat. But even if we are in the same boat if we all row together we can try to make it a better situation I think.xxx
• South Korea
29 Nov 11
I am so sorry you are in the same thing right now too. Life can be so hard sometimes right? I just don't understand ho wrong life can go at times. And if something isn't meant to be, why give a hint of as if it would work? Anyway like you said, lets go together and win this game called life coz we are here to win Thanks I feel so much better now!
@allknowing (130292)
• India
28 Nov 11
I always have activities that have deadlines. This keeps my mind fully occupied having no place for unpleasant things. And with time these unpleasant things get diluted making it easier to handle them if at all I make up mind to.
@allknowing (130292)
• India
28 Nov 11
If you have free time, then take on something that will keep you occupied.
• South Korea
29 Nov 11
Yes I have been thinking of enrolling in dance class, my passion. Thanks :) And btw I really love your avatar
• South Korea
28 Nov 11
I guess it is really good that one's mind is occupied and have no place for unpleasant things. My time is not going right, I have school starting only January now which means more free time Anyway thanks for the response
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
28 Nov 11
Life screen canvas has been painted so for most of us. It may be only 0.01% of human being who are born in a very good family, brought up in a very good way, lead a very good life and have no complications or problems. Otherwise life of everybody is a mixture of plus and minus --including mine --I was born in a rich family -- forced to lead a tough life on account of change -- got employment in government bank --lead a steady life --no ups and downs--But there are many known to me risen from rugs to riches and brought down to street from palace. How to forget unpleasant things -- Think of the plus points you have --look at people who have more problems than yourself --automatically you will feel happy. If we get food for one time a day only then we should look at others who do not have food even for one time a day.
• South Korea
29 Nov 11
Oops! Sorry for the confusion. I mean I was a satisfied kid growing up. I don't have a kid and am not married too. I am a student myself. Sorry once again
• South Korea
28 Nov 11
Like you said I think i best look at the positive points in my life. I lead a very comfortable life too and since a kid was a very satisfied one. There are just some relationships I wish were better than it is right now. This tough time I wish it would go away soon. I feel much better thanks.
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
28 Nov 11
For improving relationships -- in majority situations -- giving up more than what we expect from others -- is the one solution. Of course it may differ from person to person. Happy to note that you are satisfied with your kid. What is he/she doing? --studying in which class?
@menzis00 (273)
28 Nov 11
The thing is to keep your mind so busy with other stuff that it forgets about problems...like me, when I'm sad, I go out, play rugby, read something, play games...just do as many stuff that interest you that you can in your time and in time you won't be thinking about any bad stuff, and they do come again to your head, just do something else. You'll find out that not only will you be happier, but also more productive, when instead of doing nothing and getting depressed, you take up a book and read it.
• South Korea
1 Dec 11
i don't have school anytime soon which means i have a lot of free time these days and maybe coz i have nothing better to do, i keep dwelling on the dreadful thoughts. i understand that i have to keep myself busy so i am thinking of enrolling myself in some extra classes. thanks a lot for the advise
• South Korea
5 Dec 11
Yeah and that is exactly what I love about being here. People are so helpful and are always ready to help whenever they can
@menzis00 (273)
2 Dec 11
Try doing some sport that you think suits you, or something like an art class or whatever is your interest, soon your mind will be brighter and you won't spend so much time thinking about bad stuff. No problem, that's why we're here for, to help each other, aren't we? :D
@lynnemg (4529)
• United States
29 Nov 11
When things are overwhelming for me, and things all seem to be going wrong, and all I can seem to do is think about them and stew, I write it down. I don't really have anyone to talk to about the things that are bothering me, so, I write them down, and the more I write, the better I feel, and the better I feel, the more objectively I can approach the situation. Then, I am able to move forward with a feeling of release and as if I just unloaded a ton of bricks off of my shoulders. Sometimes, while I am writing things down, I see where maybe I am taking things too hard, or where there is a simple solution to a problem that seemed as if there was no solution at all. It is like looking at things from a third person's perspective. Once I am finished writing, I rip the paper into tiny pieces and throw it away. This is symbolic to me and I feel like I am getting rid of the problems. Of course, I know that I still have to take the steps to get through the problems, and move forward, but, by writing them down and then throwing them away, I am mentally destroying my own negative thoughts and am able to become more positive, thus, making things easier to deal with and making it easier to focus on other things in life.
• South Korea
5 Jan 12
Hey thanks for the response. I learned from a fellow mylotter about writing down the feelings and amazingly it does work! It made me feel so much better. Every time I felt the feeling, I wrote everything down, like every bit of the feeling and I did feel a little lighter and better. and hmm the destroying what you wrote does sound like a good idea to me too :)) Thanks a lot!
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
28 Nov 11
Lets go hit a club or 2 sweetie. Drown our sorrows and unpleasant things with vodka. We might feel a bit delicate tomorrow, but at least that will be something else to worry about. Now get your shoes, i'm waiting.
• South Korea
13 Dec 11
Oopss!! I am so sorry.. wish I had seen this a bit earlier If you are on for now I am ready too
@rencarl (620)
• Philippines
28 Nov 11
hello there. i am not promising you that my advice will help you a lot. do something that will divert your attention from thinking of your problems and concerns.when i am preoccupied thinking with my problems, i sometimes listen to my favorite songs or watch a movie.i like doing these things and it has worked for me.
• South Korea
28 Nov 11
Hey thank you so much. One of my passion has always been dancing and I am planning on joining a dance class just to get everything off of my chest. I hope that'll help me. And thanks a lot for the advise. I will try to keep myself busy
• South Korea
29 Nov 11
I have been dancing ever since I was a kid and love doing it all the time hehe.. and no need to thank me, it should be me thanking you for your response Have a good day!
@rencarl (620)
• Philippines
29 Nov 11
hello there.i like girls who dances pretty well.i hope you can gain something more from that hobby of yours.thank you for responding back my friend.
@edsss17 (4394)
• Philippines
28 Nov 11
I feel you girl! 2011 tested the best out me, really! What I do when things get rough on my end, I just eat, listen to music, go out then take pictures of lovely scenery! It works for me.. Hope it works for you too! After doing those things, I just kinda forgot what I've been through! Good luck!
• South Korea
13 Dec 11
Hey there thanks for your responses lovelies :) i gues 2011 hasn't been really great for the most of us. But I sure hope things turn around. As of right now, I am having better days than I was having when I started this discussion. I hope you guys are feeling better now too. Lets hope 2012 turns out to be a lot lot lot lot better than this year
@varier (5685)
• Indonesia
28 Nov 11
Same here, 2011 is really a hard year for me.. Maybe it sounds weird, but if I have to much unpleasant things in my mind, I will write all of those in a piece of paper and re-read it many times. I highly realize that if I have many problem, I can't run from them. I have to face and solve them. Or at least, I should make sure that those things would never happened again. Well, by the time I re-read and re-read it many times, that would be really a hard time . But later, I may found some solution or just simply realize something. And then, after that, everything seems better for me..
• South Korea
28 Nov 11
Hey that sounds like a good idea to me. I think i should pick up a pen and write everything down too, instead of bottling up the feelings inside. Thanks a lot I will try that too. And I am sorry you are having a hard year this year, but at least you are smiling .. Lets hope this year gets better from here and now. good luck
• South Korea
1 Dec 11
Yeah I wish for the same
@varier (5685)
• Indonesia
28 Nov 11
Yups, and the new year is nearly coming.. I wish everything would go better from now on and every problem can be solved before the new year comes.. Good luck for both of us..
• United States
29 Nov 11
Honestly I go through periods of time where I feel like this and the best way I handle it is go to some secluded place, a park at night, a meadow, an orchard, the woods, any place lonely and secluded and just clear your mind, maybe have a good cry. That usually helps me clear my mind, but then again I'm kind of a loner, so it may or may not work for you.
• South Korea
5 Jan 12
Hey thanks a lot for the response. I am feeling a lot better now but the time i started this discussion, wow i don't even wanna think about it! It feels dark when I look back and i used to lock myself up in the room and cry my eyes out but it never helped me. Always had that empty feeling inside. But I did learn that writing dow n what you feel at the moment helps you cope with the situation. I hope you try it the next time and hope it helps you :))