Does your parents have the right to choose who will love?
By Mysteria
@Mysteria (209)
Philippines
November 30, 2011 9:47am CST
I personally have a bad experience to share, well my mama knows I have a friend who I just talk on the net but we never met in real life, Every time my mama speak to me she always say words that sometimes hurts me, She will tell me that she will never let me marry and she will send me to prison if I marry a bald guy, imagine I'm her own daughter,I mean even if you are joking you shouldn't say a word like that.It really hurts. She tells me that b/c she doesn't like the guy who I was talking to.I tried to explain to her that nobody knows what our future brings, although I know this guy will never like me, His life is to different than the way I lived, he is surrounded with so many women b/c of his talent. Sometimes women showed interest in him. I know for sure we'll never meet, so I don't think my mama should worry like that. It really affects the relationship of our family. I mean they can't even trust me. If I love someone, I think a real parents should be supportive and will love the one I love.
I always feel sad, b/c of these.They never see how I live my life. I live clean.I never even talk to any guys except when Its about work in the hospital. I only have one guy and we live so distant. He is so nice to me until one day I said some words that truly hurt him.
Now my question is would you meddle in your child's life, like choose who they will love and be their friends?I personally think its not a good thing to do. You must always try to advice your children, but its up to them what they want to do especially when they are at the right age.
4 people like this
16 responses
@cearn25 (3456)
• Philippines
30 Nov 11
Luckily, my parents let me choose the person whom I want to love. And I believe that they can't force us to love whom they want to love for us. They don't have the right even though they are our parents. We have full respect for them. With respect also, they shouldn't block us from everything we want to do in our life. We need them. We need them to advise us and not to degrade us. Talk to your parents and try to understand them about your right to choose whom you should love.
1 person likes this
@ygna21 (294)
• Bulgaria
30 Nov 11
Yes, i agree with you.Parents should advise their kids but not force them to do what they think is right.I am sure your mum is just worried about you and wants the best for you so she thinks she knows better because she has more experience.Try to explain to her (calmly) that her words hurt you sometimes and that you are just trying to be happy and not doing anything bad :) Try to understand why she tells you the words that she does and that she is doing it because she cares about you.
But don't let anyone (even your parents) to choose your own life.
Have a great day! :)
1 person likes this
@Mysteria (209)
• Philippines
30 Nov 11
I'm happy you read what I've wrote eventhough some words are missing in the title. Thanks alot, Jeah prolly thats the case but I'm not 18 years old, like I said I never been a bad daughter. I always try to please them and do what they ask me too.I just worry that even the person I will be love must please their standard.Jeah I tried to explain calmly because I don't want to have arguments with her, thx again for the reply.
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
30 Nov 11
I do not think that anybody should choose our love.
I feel that what we feel we not only our parents or someone else.
I agree with your point of view.
I think this is right.
Yet we feel and we think we choose our love.
we decide on whom to love and whom to love.
nice day!
@erba2011 (56)
• Hungary
30 Nov 11
Dear writer,
I come from a country where the parents can match their children with their future spouses. My brother is a case like this and he is having a very beautiful life so far. But of course the parents are only to advice to you someone, in the end you should make your own decision and your parents should respect that. It is true that many times we feel not free when our parents tell us what to do in this perspective, but many time times they can be right( from my own life experiences).
@gatlingpeas (41)
• Indonesia
30 Nov 11
I only think the parents have the right to give some useful advice only.
They don't have the right to make you choose who you will love.
@ebuscat (5935)
• Philippines
1 Dec 11
For me it is very good if you listen to your parents because they know what the best in you just like me the hit my husband until now then my married life became not smooth.
@allknowing (130066)
• India
1 Dec 11
Sorry to say this but your mother does not represent all mothers in the world who have a responsibility to see that their daughters are well settled. Just because she
does not like your friend is no reason why she should discourage you from having a relationship with him.She should have good reasons and they should be brought to your notice. Having said that I do know that elders look at things in the right perspective inasmuch as they do not mix infatuation with choosing a partner for their daughters. It is the infatuation that sometimes blinds the girls and they walk the full mile.
@sijabatnaburjut (2171)
• Indonesia
1 Dec 11
It is interesting discussion. I think our parents does not have the right to choose who you will love or beloved, but they have the right to choose what best for their children, because every parents in the whole world wants the best for their children. There are a lot of kids or children stressed or depressed with what their parent did to them, their parent forced their children marrying someone that they even don't know each other.
You as a child has the right to choose who you wanna love, so speak up to your parents about the one whom you really loved in your life. But, they are not all wrong about their chooses, so sometime, you need to consider whether the guy you are met because parents relationship and tried to discuss and ask the time to last for the last time with him, and if you are just fine with him, you can decide what to do for your own good.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
1 Dec 11
I think parents have every right to advise their children with regards to their future husbands. But they don't have the right to impose restrictions, because after all, the lives of their children, will not be theirs anymore if they will marry. 
I think your mother is just kidding about the bald guy. Have you told her some details about that man in the net that he is having lots of women? Well, i guess she is anxious that you may eventually fall for that guy. 
Well, i suggest that since you have known the man to have lots of woman, maybe it would be better to cut your communication with him, because you might eventually really fall in love with him. You don't like that to happen , do you? 
I think your mother is just kidding about the bald guy. Have you told her some details about that man in the net that he is having lots of women? Well, i guess she is anxious that you may eventually fall for that guy.
Well, i suggest that since you have known the man to have lots of woman, maybe it would be better to cut your communication with him, because you might eventually really fall in love with him. You don't like that to happen , do you? @whatrow (792)
• United States
30 Nov 11
I think your mother is trying to protect you because she knows there are so many online predators doing horrible things. You really can't trust anyone. However, if you are old enough to marry, it has to be YOUR choice who you want to spend the rest of your life with. And, if it doesn't work out, it will be YOUR fault for making a bad choice.
@joymanzanilla (20)
•
1 Dec 11
they don't have the authority to choose whom we want to be with. But they have the responsibility to guide us.
@babyr0930 (31)
• Philippines
2 Dec 11
Parents want the best for us. They are just making sure that we will fall to the right one. I guess they don't want us to experience the pain they had before. Lols! They have the responsibility to guide us in every decision we are making but they don't have the right to decide for our own. We have our own decisions as well and we should stand for it whatever the consequences are.
@roisongarcia (2)
•
1 Dec 11
Personally, my answer is no. NO ONE ELSE have the right to CHOOSE who will you love but YOU. I mean, life and love are two separate things. Yes, your parents play a very big role in your life if not the most important thing. They guide you and give you clues to big decisions, even share their experience, but they need not to choose for you.
It all boils down to the parent-children relationship. How you can openly say things to them and how can they give you the opportunity to choose, and in the future, live on your own.
As I said earlier, Life and Love are two different things so my best advice for you is to go ahead and talk to your parents properly. Express your feelings and you should let them know what a responsible, considerate and loving grown-up you turned out to be because of their tender loving care.
Goodluck!
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
30 Nov 11
I will never interfere with my kids love-affair.
The only thing I can do and will do is to check the person and remind my kid if ever there is unwanted/bad things about the person he/she loves.
If my kid will listen and will decide for the rest.
So,in the end,I don't like to be blame.
I will always be there to guide and give reminders for always.
but not to totally choose the person they want to love.
@mipangsit666 (56)
• Indonesia
30 Nov 11
No, it's my life, so I think it's me myself who decide someone I love. I don't agree in this case, when parents involve too deep to forbid their children to love somebody.
It's an individual rights, I think...
I've once experienced when my mother didn't allow me to go out with a guy, because she thought that he was too strict on me. And I had words with my mother, but it finally came out that my mother was right. He is not a good guy...
:)
