How to overcome this situation ? Please help !

India
December 5, 2011 1:31am CST
Recently one of my friend's sister lost her husband . She was a very understanding lady and always faced life with boldness . After the sudden demise of her husband because of heart attack she was very stable and accepted the fact with boldness and stoic resignation . All went well for a month but now she has suddenly stopped talking and loves to confine herself to her room . She has stopped going to college (she teaches there ) . My friend is very confused and puzzled . Please friends suggest some ways that I can help my friend to deal with this situation.
2 people like this
7 responses
• India
7 Dec 11
She must engage herself in some activities. Hope she has kids/children, so advise her to take care of them. For sure the loss of her husband cannot be compensated,but life has to go on. She can cherish the moments that she had with her husband. I feel if she expressed her emotions/feelings then she can come out of the stress or burden within her. I Think that she is holding on something within herself that creates too much of stress and depression within her. Try to speak with her and address that.
1 person likes this
• India
7 Dec 11
No dear she is issue less and that makes her all the more lonely . We are there to support her always . Planning to take her to some psychiatrist .
• India
7 Dec 11
Yes dear but she is a college teacher but has taken leave from there . She is keeping herself confined to a room nowadays . Thanks once again .
• India
7 Dec 11
ohh then it's this loneliness that's stressing her i guess. If she is interested then she can try some social activities.Just my cents Good that you are planning to take her to a psychiatrist. That would surely help her.
1 person likes this
@srjac0902 (1170)
• Italy
5 Dec 11
This is obvious. It happens but. Some people become stern like a stone without shedding tears, but as time passes by then the psychological disorders follow. It is better the change of place and the environment.It is a severe mental disorder. Your friend's siter is affected by silent grief. The experts say that there are seven stages of grief such as shock, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, and finally acceptance. She who received this sudden shock is undergoing certain stages like denial, anger, bargaining and depression. This is very delicate stage of her life. You must address her to a healing group to overcome this shock and she may accept her condition. She needs counseling and even treatment. As educated that she is, she must be introduced in a place to get distracted. She needs time, rest and nutrition to the brain and body. She needs counseling and treatment
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@srjac0902 (1170)
• Italy
7 Dec 11
Continuing the discussion, if she is in the same home where she lost her husband , it is ideal that she leaves that place. You better take her somewhere either for picnic or on a pilgrimage. She is a teacher. Sometimes she will have to be alone but in an institute under observance. She must have counseling. She is educated. So she needs to reflect and forget then for sometimes she can do some vlunteery coaching as per her energy permits. Then when she recovers you may enable her take up her normal routine. But now absolutely she needs couseling and theraphy. Jesuit Fathers are very good for this. You may belong to any religion no problem Jesuit Fathers are experts to do couseling and theraphy
• India
7 Dec 11
You have given a very good idea of taking her to some healing group and getting counselling . Thanks so much
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
5 Dec 11
Everyone greives in different ways, some people like to have a lot of people to be with them but others like to be alone, I myself am the types that likes to be alone, and time differs from one person to the other, this lady might just need time, she should be allowed to do that, after awhile you might find gradually she will come out and start talking, its a whole new life she must enter into with out her soulmate, it can take time. All I can suggest is people should just make sure she knows they are there when she is ready..
• India
5 Dec 11
Thanks friend for your valuable suggestion . I think you are right in advicing to let her be with herself some more time and wait patiently till she decides to do something .
1 person likes this
@masang (295)
• Philippines
6 Dec 11
Perhaps,she's still grieving of the lost of her husband. Just let her grieve but monitor what she is doing. And don't forget to pray for her that one day she will be able to overcome.
• India
7 Dec 11
yes masang you are right prayers can do wonders . We are praying for her .
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
5 Dec 11
Oh definitely a difficult situation. Well I think the first thing that must be done within to make her understand that life goes on. because it is very difficult if it has lost half of herself and hurt her terribly. if you just need to duchi to bring in the required specialist because if closed within itself very sad and bad. success. nice day!
1 person likes this
• India
7 Dec 11
Yes friend she is going through a very difficult situation . We will be consulting the psychiatrist soon .
@cearn25 (3456)
• Philippines
5 Dec 11
She thought it would be easy to accept what had happened to her husband. But that isn't. Somebody has lost a loved one. It is very painful because you will see him again ever. According to what you have said, she is very strong and tough. Yes, it is great to be tough in life. But in times like that, you feel like your down. Just always be there to your friend. Visit her often. If you don't have anything less to do, travel with her. Take her in an adventure.
1 person likes this
• India
7 Dec 11
Thanks cearn for your concern .I and friend are always there to support her . We are planning to take to her a psychiatrist .
5 Dec 11
There are 5 stages of grief that people go through. 1. Denial and anger 2. Isolation 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance It may take a while before people start exhibiting signs of these. Some people just need time alone to grieve. Give her some time, but make sure she knows that when she's ready to talk the door is always open and that venting is never a burden.
• India
5 Dec 11
Thanks for your sympathetic response . Let time be a healer for her .