Unfulfilled Dreams and Goals for the Future
@bagarad (14283)
Paso Robles, California
December 8, 2011 1:59pm CST
I just read an interesting article by a friend on Squidoo about making visual pages to represent your goals and dreams for your life, and as I read some of the examples, I thought of specific things some of my friends here have shared this week and I wondered if this article might be helpful to them. I have no financial interest in this link.
http://www.squidoo.com/tenbyten
Have any of you tried this technique of bringing your hopes and dreams to fruition? If so, what were the results? I'm wondering if my friend who is so concerned about her friend with cancer might want to try this, or the friend who is anxious to find a new place to live, or someone who wants to watch a problem child grow into a healthy, happy, young adult might like to try this. Those are just some examples where this might be helpful.
Perhaps I need to make a page of a neat and orderly house with a place for everything and everything in its place.
Idea: If some of you have young people in the family you will be spending time with over the holidays, maybe you could sit down with them before the new year starts and make pages together about your goals and dreams for 2012. It would be non-threatening quality time, doing something together with your hands and brains, that would also help you get to know each other better -- as long as you can refrain from criticizing and ask only non-threatening questions such as "When did you begin to get interested in this?" or "If you accomplish this goal this year, where do you expect it will lead you next?" or maybe just don't say anything except to volunteer why you are choosing a certain goal, hoping the other will do likewise. I could see this turning interesting if you do this with a couple of children at once -- even younger ones -- because they will probably talk to each other and you will get to eavesdrop as they explain what is important to them as they talk to each other. Maybe if you start with young children who are about to start school for the first time next year, or older, it could become an interesting New Year's Eve tradition. I think this would have worked in my family had I thought of it.
What do you all think of this?
6 people like this
15 responses
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
10 Dec 11
The power of suggestion becomes more powerful if we see what it is that we have set ourselves to achieve. I have squandered lots of sums of money on other things when, I should have prioritized the coming to reality of the goals which i have wanted for myself and my kids.
I might have done well on some points in my life. However, my dream house has never been a reality because, I didn't post a picture of it at my wall. Whenever someone comes to borrow some money, I easily open my pocket to help. So there goes my dream house and my dream car. Too bad that none of them came true when I could have easily had them then.
@owlwings (43897)
• Cambridge, England
8 Dec 11
The difference between dreams and goals is that goals are SMART - Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely. Dreams inevitably miss out one or more of these things.
People who don't know how to dream tend to be bad at setting goals. People who don't understand how to set goals tend to be those who live in a perpetual dream land.
People who set goals but repeatedly achieve less than three quarters of them are likely to be those who aren't learning the lessons of failure.
Dreams often depend on the actions of others. Goals depend mainly on things that we know we can control. It is good to share both with others because we are more likely to be able to see the inconsistencies and incongruities in our dreams with their help. Once we can do this, we can begin to turn dreams into goals and then into reality.
1 person likes this
@owlwings (43897)
• Cambridge, England
9 Dec 11
The terms 'objectives' and 'goals' come from a particular discipline (or group of disciplines) which are used in business, management and educational areas. The term 'dreams' really belongs to quite another field.
If we are to place them on some kind of scale it would have to be (reading from left to right) from the unspecific to the specific something like this:
Dreams - Objectives - Long Term Goals - Immediate Goals
Turn the arrows round and your immediate goals are designed to achieve your long-term goals (which may only be another term for 'objectives', depending on your discipline), which, in turn, MAY make your dreams a reality.
In practical subjects like business and education, the term 'dream' is supposed to have no reality and would certainly be frowned upon in the context of any business plan! (Imagine going to your bank for a business loan and saying that your 'dream' was to be world leader in widgets. I think you would be politely told to go away and come back when you have a better defined plan!)
In fact MOST people start with a dream and then work on it (by finding answers to questions like 'Why?', 'What?', 'Who?, 'When?' and 'How?') to define things more accurately into objectives and then specific and achievable goals.
The names that we give to the stages in this process shouldn't create a smokescreen. It doesn't matter whether you choose to call something an 'objective', a 'goal' or a 'long-term goal', the important thing is whether it's achievable, how you are going to achieve it, when you expect to achieve it by and how you are going to decide whether it has been achieved or not. If any of these aren't clear, then you have to either decide that it's not important to you after all or break it down into smaller parts which can be defined.
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
9 Dec 11
owlwings, you're right. I made measurable goals last year in a Squidoo lens as a RocketMoms assignment and went back to look at it last night to see what I'd accomplished in reaching those goals. I discovered, alas, that the ones I was less interested in got shoved on the back burner while I exceeded the goals I was really motivated to reach. I think I will have to be more realistic this next year.
I"m having a bit of trouble seeing that a dream is required to be able to set measurable goals. I am pretty content. I don't have many unfulfilled dreams. But there are still measurable things I want to accomplish. Or maybe some of those are more of a dream than I think, since I want the results without the elbow grease required. The things that are the most odious to me to have to do, I'd rather hire done, but I can't think of anyone else who can really do them unless I relinquish all decision making in the matter. It's something I have to face, though, since it could be forced on me rather suddenly under pressure if I'm not proactive. I just don't want to give up the writing, which I love, to sort stuff.
Bluedoll, I suspect some of this confusion is due to all of us meaning something different when we say goals, dreams, and objectives. I guess I see dreams as somewhere I would like to be, goals as measurable steps to take to get there. When I hear objectives, I can't help but think back to my teaching days when each lesson needed a measurable objective.
@Bluedoll (16770)
• Canada
8 Dec 11
To answer the question of what do I think about this, I am saving this page to my desktop, that should tell you something, thanks for making it.
I like this part about of lessons of failure and want to look at this more in my life. I think for me though I need to label smart goals as objectives for it to do the work right. I don't know, maybe, it is just the way I think. Goals though they need to be realistic, but in my mind are still visionary (always in the future) and never like objectives which are achievable in the present and noteworthy (things I do), not a big difference really but works for me because setting goals and then actually doing them is hard sometimes.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36445)
• United States
20 Jan 12
Well, since besides working for someone else, I have an offline/online business that is really starting to explode and keep me busy, this is one of the main things I really need to concentrate on making my dream goals met. I have a goal of being able to reach $1000 a month by the end of July and $1500 or more by the end of the yr. This does not count what I make from my reg. job.. this is just on top of it.
I have been Writing down things I need to see happen in order to reach this goal, and sometimes it seems far fetched, but I know if I continue to plan and perservere this will happen. I already have been making the last 2 months more than I thought possible online just about 4-5 months ago. So keeping positive and writing them all down and watching as things happen will be worth it all for sure.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
21 Jan 12
That is a great goal. I hope you reach it. I'm trying to be realistic in aiming to earn $100 a month online (outside my book business). That would be an average. I think I will go over it in February and achieve it in March. That might average out January, which was much below that. I guess we all just need to hang in there and keep working hard.
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
11 Jan 12
They do say a picture is worth a thousand words, after all. Many self-help books emphasize using all of the senses combined in order to bring something about. That is one of the techniques for remembering things. But increasingly these days people are talking about the power of intention. In fact, I think that is part of the name of Wayne Dyer's new book.
I think children do start out doing this sort of thing automatically but then it often gets drummed out of them by adults.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
11 Jan 12
I always have good intentions. I just so easily get distracted from them.
@bounce58 (17380)
• Canada
31 Dec 11
That's a great idea!
I think it's similar to a work-training I had when I just entered the workforce. It was about writing your goals down. To make it visual and achieveable. In a way, I've sort of incorporated this technique in my career.
But the idea that it could be done as a family, is great too!
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
1 Jan 12
I confess I haven't written mine down yet. I was too busy trying to bring them into fruition the past three days by working on my Zazzle stores to make them more attractive and stock them with some of the newer products like puzzles and tableware (jumbo mugs that double as soup bowls), teapots, creamers (pitchers), and sugar bowls (candy jars). I was going nuts making the sets, piece by piece, one at a time, but added about 30 products over the last two days.
@inertia4 (27978)
• United States
10 Dec 11
There are lots of visuals in my mind, believe me. I basically visualize my ex dissolving into thin air. Nice!!! But I know that it not possible. But, I have some goals to set and some that are in the works right now. Unfortunately, I cannot make some of them happen. Some of them are left up to chance. But, I will set goals for myself for this coming new year. I have a list and I will check it twice. LOL. I had to throw that in there. Then I will accomplish them, one at a time. I do not need to waste time creating visuals for my goals, because the visuals in my mind are vivd enough. But, I can see how this can help some people, especially when we as people do tend to forget things. This will keep not only a reminder, but a solid thought within.
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
10 Dec 11
I think you are right. Some people need external visual reminders more than others. If I weren't still sick, I'd leave this computer and get to work doing some heavy sorting and getting rid of stuff. But I am sick, and I will be lucky if I can make it to the store to get the food supply in for the week. I should be on my way to farmers market,but I just don't have it in me to go today. I will go to Trader Joe's later when I start feeling better this afternoon. I will work on my web page and promotion goals instead. There is no shortage of goals. That leaves me with no excuse to do nothing as long as I can make it to a computer and sit there.
1 person likes this
@flowerchilde (12529)
• United States
12 Dec 11
I think that is an excellent idea! Especially making visual pages to represent ones goals and dreams for ones life. I think that could be very beneficial!
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
13 Dec 11
Maybe I will give it a try -- if I can find a place to put it.
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
10 Dec 11
Yes, I have had a friend who had introduced the idea to me so very many years ago. She posted some pictures at the wall of her receiving room like her dream house, her dream car, her dreamland...a dream farm...
When I commented on how beautiful the pictures are, she told me that a friend of hers who has become rich has told her about her secret for getting rich. That friend had a dream business which prospered. For the one i talked to, hers is a dream farmland.
I have never talked to her again though and so, I don't have any idea as to whether her dreamhouse, dream car and dream farmland have materialized.
As for me, no, I have never tried this trick yet. My trick had always been prayers. Yes, I should say that I should have tried it. It should have made a big difference in my life.
Having those pictures at my wall will be a good reminder of the goals that I have set for myself. I should have realized them all by now if only I did so.
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
10 Dec 11
I think the idea of the pictures is simply to constantly remind us of what we ultimately want so that we will work on setting the goals we need to achieve what it will take to realize our dreams. There's no magic in it. We still need to pray for the strength and motivation to do the work it will take to make our dreams come true, and, in the process, we are also setting those dreams before God to see if they are also what he would like to see happen in our lives. Prayer should probably be first, as we ask God to give us godly desires so our will is aligned with his.
@dragon54u (31633)
• United States
8 Dec 11
Visualization has been shown to help accomplish what we want or need. Putting your ideas on pages just modernizes it. I visualize things in my mind that I want and when I do it on a regular basis it seems to move me closer to my goals. It's another form of positive thinking, which always helps in nearly any situation, you're just extending it to have long term effects by visualizing it.
I'm a big believer in visualization. I won't use the internet to do it but that would be helpful to a lot of people.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
9 Dec 11
I think the idea was actually to sit down and look through magazines and cut out pictures to paste on the pages. That's why I think it could be a fun New Year's Eve activity for families or even church groups.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
10 Dec 11
Sounds like an interesting concept. I read that the brain is much more receptive to pictures than words. It was actually a sign of the times and introduced to us that way with the T.V.
I think it would be a good tradition for a family and it might lead to more NYE resolutions being kept
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
10 Dec 11
I think you are right. Dreams and resolutions seem to be results oriented, eg. I will lose weight, I will go to bed earlier, I will get more exercise. The goals one should be process oriented, eg. I will eat 5 serving of fruits and vegetables a day and avoid sugar, I will go to bed at 11 PM each night, I will walk 30 minutes three times a week. The process oriented goals are measurable -- we can know when we have achieved them.
I could see a family discussing these goals and deciding which they will put on a family page to hang on the refrigerator. Maybe a family with teenagers could focus together on eating more fruits and vegetables to lose weight and walking together three times a week after dinner, or going to the gym together, or whatever.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
13 Dec 11
This is actually something that I've done for quite a while in my life. When it comes to the beginning of the new year, I am one of those people that make a large list of things that I would like to accomplish in the year. Well, the way that I typically put it into pictures is to make scrapbook pages about the goals that I set for the new year.
Now, since I've been worrying about my husband, I've started saving a lot of pictures of things that we want to do after his treatments are complete.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
13 Dec 11
That's a great example of this technique. Thanks for sharing it. Do you have a picture of one of your pages to show us?
@allknowing (153529)
• India
9 Dec 11
Goals and dreams are two separate entities. Goals are tangible while dreams are not. Goals perforce need to be realistic and it is required that they written down in order to achieve them. Dreams have a long way to go - several steps before they can be even seen as something that could be fulfilled. You must have heard of impossible dreams but they are dreams all the same. But goals do not come under that group as goals are set only when one sees them on the horizon as being achievable.
Rather than collect images it would be better if a PERT (Program evaluation review technique) is drawn up, where the entire story including deadlines for every step is written, and details covering, who, when, where, why, which - all the 'w's are clearly defined.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
9 Dec 11
That might work for some people, and it might work for reasonably short-term goals, but I know I'm not disciplined enough to make that detailed a plan. I have to plan only about a year at a time, and who knows if I even have that much time left? I'm not likely to paste a page together, either, because although it might be fun if a bunch of friends or family members did it together, I prefer to write my goals on a check-list with general time frames for the bite size goals to be accomplished.
@snowhybiscuis (1882)
• Philippines
9 Dec 11
Hi bagarad.
This is a great suggestion. Actually, this is an integral part of Career Counseling. As a career counselor, we help young people determine their interest and help them plan their future careers. By sitting down and thinking of what they would want to achieve would be similar to committing themselves to achieving their personal goal and dreams. It is like preparing a map of success for their desired career.
Not many of the youths today have the initiative to do this. Parents who are aware of helping their children drive at what they want to achieve in life are few as well. But we have to help this culture and our children today. With the rising stressful economic status of the world, globally, the youths need guidance on how to be resilient and competitive.
Thanks for your post. This is insightful and I know that many readers would benefit from it.
Have a nice day! 
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
9 Dec 11
I agree. Not too many youth are very focused on the future except for thinking they will go to college or maybe get married or have a career or both. My goals were pretty vague when I was in high school. I think we tend to be more focused on short term goals in school, like passing the next test or finishing a term paper or project. Many of us saw little in our high school assignments that seemed to connect to any future goal except getting to college.
When I was in elementary school goals never entered my head, and I never really thought much about the future or what I wanted to do with my life. I think, though, that elementary students can think about such goals as learning skills, starting a hobby, taking responsibility for their chores, and thinking of what sort of person they might like to become. Spending a New Year's Eve or New Year's Day thinking about these things or maybe even as a family deciding on family goals and dreams and seeing how they can become reality might help bring many families together, whether they make pages or not. I just think it's less threatening if children make pages.
In pioneer days, families worked together as an economic unit, with everyone contributing. Today in many families, it's every man, woman and child for himself, and few children think about what they can give back to the family.
@chillybill (40)
• United States
9 Dec 11
I did this once in my life, as a young man I always wanted a brand new Chevy pick up truck but there were may things in my path, family, children, bills, bills, bills! I made a list of the things that needed to be done in order by priority which things had to be paid first, things that needed to be done to bring me nearer my goal which were posted on a piece of cardboard hanging on my bedroom door, as each thing was done it was marked off the list. At the bottom of the list was a picture of the pick up truck I wanted including a list of all the reasons I "needed" it after all I was in construction a pick up truck would help me make more money! During the time I was aiming at achieving this goal it seemed the minor bench mark goals had to change some so as one was marked off a few new ones were added, 7 years I worked to get there and bought my first brand spakin new red Chevy pick up truck.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
9 Dec 11
Congratulations on being disciplined enough to work methodically and hard to reach that goal. I guess I need to post a picture of a neat, uncluttered house somewhere. I don't have a bedroom door since the earthquake in 2003, because I never want to worry about whether I can get in or out of it again.
@srjac0902 (1169)
• Italy
8 Dec 11
You may find any subliminal music, positive affirmations, self hypnosis, deep theta and delta level music though http://www.youtube.com. You just write on the address bar and try. Really it helps. Nothing is absolute. It depends upon your inner disposition. But one thing is sure, practicing it daily, at the same time, does transform your life.
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