the EX

Philippines
December 10, 2011 2:22am CST
Ex is someone that was once part or associated in a persons life. Ex has many attachments to someone and TRUST is one of them. A friend of mine saying Ex is a mere wrong person coming from a wrong time. Now he had a bf that has a past and ex as i may say. the man can't still get over from his previous relationship and this hurt to my friend. The man currently keep on having a communication to her ex-gf and do that in front of her.. even not telling that he doesn't love her anymore(the ex) and she's hurt too much. She was telling that he is willing to let go of the man because up to now though the man keep on telling to my friend that he will marry her don't say that love to her was 100% because part of it was left from the ex and doesn't subside yet. Me i don't have EX, What would wisdom you could share to my friend on her current situation? they are only a month or so in their relationship.
9 responses
@Xansus (946)
• Bulgaria
10 Dec 11
Well he did put some feelings in to the relationship before , but to actually say that is totally different thing . People make bonds when are with one another , but when they leave one another the feelings are not just fading , normally its one of the stopping loving the other , but the other still keeps his feelings . But well when you start a new relationship it should be so much better and you must be set 100% to it not ye i still have some feelings for my ex but i will marry you , that sounds insane . I think if he really does he will break up or at least will keep it for himeself for the rest of his life or well lets hope until it fades soon .
@Xansus (946)
• Bulgaria
10 Dec 11
Lets hope his hearth stay with her , the past feelings are in the past , they are there and must be left there if you are in new relationship , specially with such proposal . I think she needs to think about everything and talk with him and decide what to do , painful or not people make right and wrong choices , but you must at least try to do the right thing .
• Philippines
10 Dec 11
is it not cruel to wait and be hurt afterwards? anyway there are still 2 choices and if the 2nd choice which is to stay the heart on the 1st one is too bad isn't? trying means have it trial and error. love and be hurt was always part of the options.
• Philippines
10 Dec 11
yup, that was totally insane. knowing he had still feelings for the other girl and telling to my friend he will marry. i don't really know if being vocal to still have feelings to other girls will give him the fastest way to recover the feelings. will he test the love of my friend in that case? i dont know guys. i love my friend and i am hurt also for whats happening to her.
• Philippines
10 Dec 11
I think that man still love's his ex and not your friend. It doesn't make sense why would someone do that in front of his current girlfriend and he's always communicating. The communication his made is a clear indicator especially if he is the one which is always calling. The best thing to do is to tell your friend to warn his boyfriend to stop communicating with his ex because he is hurting her. If the guy loves your friend, he will do anything in order to preserve the relationship and will not hurt your friend anymore. But if his reaction adds to fighting, then he really is in love with his ex and he still prefers to lose your friend rather than the communication from his ex.
• Philippines
12 Dec 11
No, he could not moved on with that kind of attitude. I also experienced this one and sadly it took me two years to realize it. If he will stop communicating and any contact he has with the girl, that helps a lot. Plus he should focus all his attention to his current girlfriend and he must not compare.
• Philippines
14 Dec 11
That i guess is right. I know that it will be impossible for him to do it also. He cant get away with it and he will never give the 100 percent of love that it should be given to my dear friend.
• Philippines
10 Dec 11
Actually he (the man) entertain the girl. the girl always pops out in FB and even in front of my friend he accommodate the ex. The ex seems already moved on because as far as i knew the girl had somebody already. Th e man always make his self available even to all the request of the girl. Would you think he will easily move on with that attitude? As i know my friend already inform him about that and had a conversation with that. Recently i don't know the status between them.
@airamtheb (370)
11 Dec 11
While the relationship is still in its early stage, better for your friend to drop the man since he has not fully move on away from his past.She doesn't have to wait when she will be in a complicated relationship.
• Philippines
14 Dec 11
hi air! Will keep on looking to that. I made my part and my advice already as to sum up all that has been given to me. thanks a lot.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
10 Dec 11
Trust is NOT a part of the ex. If there would be trust the ex would never be the ex! The case you talk about. I think this man is honest. He says a part of his heart is still with the ex. It's honest to say so but it's not a good base for a new relationship. I think his new girlfriend should ask herself if she is willing to play the second violin (she is not number one). If I was her I would do some steps backwards and live my own life. I would not count on him at this moment. He did not finish his former relationship and as long as he did not she will just be a way to past time with for him. I think she deserves way better.
• Philippines
14 Dec 11
TRUST can be associated in different aspects to what is needed in ex relationships. Now as to my friend in her situation maybe it is better for her to keep silent for a while since they are in a long distance situation. 5 hours travel keep them apart for a while to see things and work things for their future if the future together is belong to them. Thanks a lot!
@davaome (1826)
• Philippines
10 Dec 11
It seemed that your friend was made by this d*** a "rebound" of some sort, and it is not really a polite thing to do. Give him first the benefit of the doubt, so that he could atleast explains himself or atleast be frank about it, but if your friend can't take it anymore, better to advice her to leave him, it would not do her good, and if she breaks up with him and this guy does his best to get her back, that would already be proof that he was sincere and he is willing to change but if not Their are still alot of fish in the sea. so GO fish :)
• Philippines
10 Dec 11
Maybe fishing is not my friends forte.. she had an ex also and make herself available for almost 7 years before accepting another one. Its just a sad one because after preparing herself for the best she have this kind of challenge. having partly love if that's what we can call for it.
@davaome (1826)
• Philippines
10 Dec 11
Your friend must have love that ex of hers to wait for 7 years. and to have someone new and face this kind of situation is quite really a challenge for her. But still I will still stick with my first advice, because today, with alot of people nowadays are like her current boyfriend and she must accept the fact that she had a relationship with the wrong person. Best thing for her to do, in my opinion, is cry it all out, accept that things happen then, hope for the best wish the best for your friend
• Philippines
10 Dec 11
She really feels special about her ex because he is her first bf. Now i think more than ever she is crying it out loud and pray for whatever challenge she has. Everyone is being prepared for the best that's why i think of all the learning she might get out of it. Maybe it is painful but for future and if she surpass it is worth laughing for and telling she made it or they made it. My appreciation for your insights. Happy myLotting.
10 Dec 11
Hello mmgonzales I agree with everything said, but your friend must be upset about losing his/her ex, as they are saying negative stuff. I suggest your friend should try talk to her boyfriend.
• Philippines
14 Dec 11
She did actually talk and resolutions made for a while. To keep silent and think things as a mature person's.
@Jezebella (1446)
• United States
5 Jan 12
If someone.isnt happy with the person they are with then they shouldnt be together. If he keeps saying he will marry her but not that he lives her or that he still lives the ex she should be on guard and really think aboit her future withim.
• Philippines
10 Dec 11
If they will continue their relationship without complete love in it, in the end, I am pretty sure that they will just end up unhappy.
• Philippines
10 Dec 11
yeah probably, they will end up having a relationship with full of long discussions. and going back to square one after all.
@iamroms (78)
• Philippines
5 Jan 12
As for me, I don't believe that when you contact your EX it would already mean that you still love him/her. I had 1 EX already. We've been for 2 years plus and we broke up 3 years ago but we still keep contact. After the break up, things became awkward for the both of us but after how many months, we ended up being close to each other again and until now we still hang out with some of our friends but there is no feelings involve already now. We do share our love life/crushes secrets and even seek for pieces of advice from each other on how to confess, how to win the heart of your loved one and so. Your friend might just had misinterpreted her boyfriend. it would be a waste if they will broke up just becuase of misinterpretation. The guy could break up with your friend if he really still loves his ex and be with that girl again but he did not and he even told your friend that he would marry your friend which indicates a sign of love. Marriage isn't a joke. When someone proposes to you, he must be really into you. Anyway, there are still circumstances too that your observation might be true. He might still love his ex but maybe it is just a lingering feeling (or maybe not). The best way to solve this is that your friend and her boyfriend should talk sincerely and settle things and decide if whether they are still going to continue their relationship or not. Hope this helps.