Would you tell your baby sitter if your child had a disability?

@bnsp09 (258)
United States
December 12, 2011 2:14am CST
I watched a family of kids the other day & I was never told that there was something wrong with one of the children before they got to my house. You could plainly see something's wrong & her speech sounded different as well. The mother didn't tell me even once she got to the house. She said her daughter would ask for more then two pieces of pizza for dinner but she could only have two b/c she doesn't realize she's full. That sounded to me a lot like Prader-Willi syndrome. She kept asking me for food the entire time she was here. She'd ask my kids to sneak her cookies, crackers, candy. She walked differently, her muscles in her body made her movements look very tight and her mom would not admit anything was wrong even after I asked. I don't mind watching kids with special needs but I don't like when parents have me watch them & not let me know something's wrong or the instructions of what to do or not do. Would you tell the sitter if your child had something wrong? Would you be mad as the sitter if a parent did not inform you?
1 person likes this
13 responses
@JER616 (545)
• Philippines
12 Dec 11
I could sense that the mother of the child you recently baby sit felt ashamed to let others know that her child has a disability to the detriment of her child's safety. Good for her you know how to handle such special case! I believe that it is risky not to inform the baby sitter if the child whom she will handle has a disability so that the babysitter will have an idea of how to handle the child's specific needs. Her simple instruction is not enough. Further, informing the child's disability will enable the baby sitter to assess her capability to handle the case, otherwise, she ought not to accept the job. Truly, honesty is the best policy.
@whatrow (792)
• United States
12 Dec 11
I don't think the mother was ashamed. I think she was in denial.
1 person likes this
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
18 Dec 11
I agree! I'm not sure if she was ashamed or in denial or possibly some of both! I'm so glad I am the one that the mother had watching those kids! I just hope that she continues to bring them to me because I would not want anything bad to happen to that little girl! I think the mom has to come to terms with her daughters conditions & start telling people who are caring for her!
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
12 Dec 11
It is every mother's duty to tell the babysitter, any wrong that there in with their child. That way, the babysitter, will know of what she will do, in the event that something unusual will happen. And she will also know on how to deal with the child.
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@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
18 Dec 11
That's exactly what I thought. I was terrified! My aunt had prader-willie syndrome and my grandma had to lock the fridge & every cabinet with food in it. I barley slept because I didn't know if she was going to come out & sneak food or anything!
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
19 Dec 11
Maybe next time, don't ask for her services anymore. It would really be so stressful to have a help that you cannot trust.
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (47038)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
20 Dec 11
I would tell the babysitter if my child had a disability. It just seems fair for them to know. I feel that they have a right to know. It may help them take better care of the child, in my opinion.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
28 Dec 11
I completely agree! Even when my daughter had surgery I made sure to give very specific instructions about what she could or could not do b/c she had stitches in her cheek to remove a tumor. I could not imagine not telling someone about a disability.
• United States
28 Dec 11
I have a daughter who has autism, but I have yet to use a sitter. I would never ever hire a sitter for her without letting the sitter know about my daughter's disability. That is very irresponsible on the mother's part to do so. You have to care for special needs children differently than other kids.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
28 Dec 11
I am so glad that I am not the only one who thinks that way. It's not something to take lightly it could be the difference in saving the child's life. Some people have no idea how to care for children with special needs. Thankfully I do have experience with autism, PWS, & mental retardation, but she doesn't know that. So instructions would be nice.
@06MLam (620)
12 Dec 11
Maybe they just cannot accept that their children got a disability or they are afraid that the others will discriminate their children. I think they should better tell the baby sitters about their children's disabilities so that the baby sitters can take care of their children better.
@whatrow (792)
• United States
12 Dec 11
It is also the babysitter's responsibility to ASK about the child's problems before she accepts a job for the first time.
• Valdosta, Georgia
19 Dec 11
The person that started this discussion stated that she DID ASK the mother and she said there was NOTHING wrong with the child when clearly there was! Just saying...
• Valdosta, Georgia
19 Dec 11
Quote: The mother would not admit anything was wrong EVEN AFTER I ASKED!
• United States
19 Dec 11
Yes it does sound like PWS. I would confront the mother as to why she never addressed this child's disability. I would be highly upset if I was not told about a child's disability. How can I know how to properly care for the child without the necessary information? I used to be a nanny a few years ago for my pastor's children. One of the kids is 22 years old but still infantile. She is about like a 3 month old baby. She cannot talk, walk or feed herself. She used to walk with assistance but she can't anymore. I couldn't have cared for her without knowing everything about her. She has become a god daughter to me.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
28 Dec 11
Exactly. I am watching them again on New Years Eve. She's dropping off all three kids to me for over night care. I'm going to try to see if I can get any answers out of her this time. I'm so nervous because I don't really know what to do or not to do you know? It's sad. I just wish the mom would be honest with me, so I could make sure that proper care is given.
@Galena (9110)
12 Dec 11
that's really sad. more sad because it sounds like they were too ashamed of their childs disability to tell you they had something wrong with them, which would have been in their childs best interests. so they're putting their shame where they shouldn't be ashamed, before the wellbeing of their own child.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
21 Dec 11
exactly! So sad! I did not want anything to happen to her or to me if god forbid something happen to the little girl for my lack of knowledge!
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Dec 11
yes bnsp09 I always told the babysitter our little girl was brain damaged and did not always understand someone she did not]know so be gentle with her. its not fair not to let the baby sitter know that your child needs certain things others don't need. I was always very clear as to Lisa Rose's special needs. Not to do so would just cause problem,
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
28 Dec 11
I agree. I would never say I could not watch the child unless I did not think that I could safely handle the situation. Which was not the case with this child. I just want to make sure that she's safe & honestly that my butts covered too! If something were to happen to her I would not want to be to blame because the mom did not inform me of details. That's scary!
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
14 Dec 11
Usually, for the safety of the child, any caretaker should be informed of the disability of a child. He or she needs to know to understand what is normal for the child and what is not.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
21 Dec 11
Yes it is! I felt like she was doing both me & her daughter a disservice by not saying anything to me. It could have been bad for me because I didn't know what she could or could not do & It was effecting her because I could not do my best for her.
@asyria51 (2861)
• United States
13 Dec 11
I would definitely tell my sitter, before I showed up at the house, or the sitter showed up at my house. It is not fair on the sitter. I would maybe not tell the actual diagnosis, but state that my child had a disability and that these were some of the problems and how to handle them.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
21 Dec 11
Thank you! I did not want an actual diagnosis which I don't see any problem in giving to a sitter but even if she told me their was a problem & how to handle it!
• India
12 Dec 11
It is necessary to inform to the baby sitter about the child's disability's. I remember informing my baby sitter the type of food my baby was less allergic too.It's important because they can act accordingly in times of any emergency. I also feel they will give special attention to needy child. I'm surprised at why the lady dint inform you anything about her child. Maybe she had some complex in telling you the facts. Or she might have thought that you will deny baby sitting if she told the truth. For me she is at fault.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
21 Dec 11
I agree. I def. think that she was worried I would not sit for her. Which was not the case I was just so worried that something would happen through the night and I would not know what to do! That made me have a terrible night sleep!
@SmOreS1 (40)
• United States
12 Dec 11
A mother should definately tell the baby sitter about any disabilities any of her children may have so that the baby sitter can properly care for the child. If the babysitter cant handle the disability then it would be most beneficial to get someone who can.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
21 Dec 11
Thank you! I would not have denied the child or anything like that but I like to be informed of anything that important! It was crazy that she denied it even when I asked what was wrong! I could not imagine doing that to my child because that can harm my child by not telling someone how to care for them!
13 Dec 11
it's the right for the baby sitter to know the problem of the child. so that, she knows what to do with the child. And a special attention can be given to the child.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
21 Dec 11
Thank you I felt the same way but I didn't know if I was the only one that felt that way or not. I really needed to know the details & hope that if she lets me watch them again that she'll let me know the details of her condition.