Is this dumb of me to say?

By C
@ShyBear88 (59263)
Sterling, Virginia
December 12, 2011 7:36pm CST
My husbands 19 year old sister that is 17 weeks pregnant herself told me it was dumb of me to tell people that I'm 3 weeks pregnant. What if something happen? When I was 6 weeks pregnant with mysaugter I found out I wa having and told woolen right away. I feel the same way about this baby. I have nohing to hide. Nothing to ne scared of. I knowthe risk they are high in the first trimester but blogging to be scared of I can't help what will happen. All I van do is take care of myself and my baby and leave the rest in gods hand. Why wait 12 weeks to say I'm having a baby? In happy and its something to share with the world. I'm not a shamed like she is. She is scared because she is young and not married and not taking care of her own self and baby. She is no position to tell me when is the right time for this news.
3 people like this
7 responses
• United States
13 Dec 11
There is a difference. You are happily married and mature enough what being pregnant means so why not tell everyone, her , on the other hand is not married or serious with the father , right? Or is she mature enough to understand that she has to eat right, drink plenty of water And go to those many doctors visits.I assume if she told everyone in her 3rd week , Everyone would have nagged her to eat right and to get some rest. don't let her get to you. She is just jealous.
• United States
13 Dec 11
Oh! Then she is more like me. I wouldn't tell anyone until the end of my first trimester . Why? If I Really wanted a baby I would fear I would lose it in the first trimester. I think it is not fair she has to keep her pregnancy a secret. She doesn't need this stress!
@ShyBear88 (59263)
• Sterling, Virginia
13 Dec 11
It has more with the do that she is scared of what might happen to her own baby in the first trimester and the stress of hiding her own from certain people that she can't tell because she issnt allowed to. Married or not has nothing to do when I tell people or when she tells people. Some people are suppression and I'm not. I like saying it right of the bat then waiting I have nothing to fear or be scared of.
1 person likes this
@ShyBear88 (59263)
• Sterling, Virginia
13 Dec 11
It's like the show on tlc secretly pregnant. That what she has at the mount she wants to tell certainpeople and she cant. She could tell all of her friends and they support her. I told her ousode of that house you can tell whomever you want. They don't want hear but other people will listen. That one of the main reasons hubby left that house was it wasn't fair in adult things and when it doesn't fit the norm thy hid or ignore it.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Dec 11
i guess you both have different personality. And maybe because of that she just misunderstand your being open with your current situation. being a proud mom is the best. but doing it and working with it there's a different and unique way for every woman. No one is too dumb or too intelligent but only enough and right for the health of the mom and the baby only its a different approach and different way of telling and handling things of their own. Yeah i guess she is not in the position and by telling her that you are not what she thinks and live by it is enough proof that being a great mom is not as same as others but doing it your way.
@ShyBear88 (59263)
• Sterling, Virginia
27 Dec 11
Of course we have different personalities we are two different people. No two people hink a like. She is 19 and scared it's her first baby so I can understand not wanting to tell people till she is in the second trimester. Me I tell right away and it has nothing to do with me being a proud mommy I has to do with the fact that I want to share with people things going on in my life. Although now I won't be able to share that life with people since I lost the baby almost 2 weeks ago.
@ShyBear88 (59263)
• Sterling, Virginia
28 Dec 11
You just repeated what I said. I said she was scared it's a normal thing for first time parets. I'm not scared of that even when it d id happen to me. We aren't that different in age she is 19 and I'm 23 that isn't a big age differences at all. I wasn't scare of having a second child I was extremely happy about another a baby and a challenge of taking care of a baby and a toddler. Being scared won't make a women have a miscarriage it's a natural thing that happens in early pregnancy do the fact that something was wrong with the egg or the chromosomes needed. She was scared of what people would say because the dad wants nothing to do with th baby and she knows how some peole would feel about an unwed mother in the family. I don't care of she is or isn't married she's an adult and can make choices for herself. Me being married had nothing to do with me telling people or not. I wants to share the good news about my second child and a week later having to tell them all over the phon that there is no baby I had loser the baby over he weekend before Christmas. All women have he same fears of being a mom weather they are married or not. You can assume how someone feels when you don't know them and no two women will feel the same about pregnant and not hr same things will happen to then and we don't deal he same way as each other when good or bad things happen.
• Philippines
28 Dec 11
Maybe then she is scared and you are not to tell that you are pregnant and she is pregnant. But since you have different age and different approach she is not scared to take care of her own baby. I think you are scared because the probability of losing a child is you know and you experience. Moms on the 2nd child is somehow scared because i experience to be scared for my 2nd child. While a person having a 1st child is stronger and not easily moved though in her case she is not married, she has different fears than married women. My apology for your lost of a baby..
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
13 Dec 11
I know that the first day of the lady's period is day 1 and she would get pregnant on or close to her day of ovulation. She might find out she is pregnant at 4 weeks pregnancy by using a home pregnancy test. It is lovely that you haven't got anything to hide. Due to having a disabled son I kept the news that I was pregnant with my third child very quiet. My bump began to show at 14 weeks. I had a detailed scan at the fetal medicine unit at 16 weeks. I think that pregnant is pregnant at any stage of pregnancy. The pregnant lady should announce her condition as soon as she feels ready. Your sister-in-law is pregnant and has high emotion. She should be happy for you. She is one of the types that waits until 12 weeks pregnancy it would seem. I hope that you both have a happy and healthy pregnancy.
@ShyBear88 (59263)
• Sterling, Virginia
13 Dec 11
She found out months ago that she was pregnant. She is 17 weeks. I found in 3 weeks so the doctor says to me. Most women find out 4 to 8 weeks. It all depends on the women's body and the hormones. My where high enough for a test at 2 weeks. They say as soon as you conceive your pregnant but most home test won't pik it up that soon.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
13 Dec 11
Hi Shybear, Everyone is different and there is no right or wrong in how long you wait to tell people. I was one that told people right away that I was pregnant. My daughter on the other hand decided to hold off for a while before announcing it. She'd lost two of them and found that getting over her loss was harder for telling everyone. People would come up and ask her how she was feeling etc. that didn't realize she'd miscarried. As for your husbands sister, she should not be ashamed of her baby. She should be ashamed if she isn't taking good care of herself.
@ShyBear88 (59263)
• Sterling, Virginia
13 Dec 11
Yeah she isn't tki g care of herself and most of it's stress from not being able to tell people because her mom and step dad doubt want people to k ow it. But she is an adult. I understand where she is coming from but me telling people now I know I cam handle it after having two blood test and knowing there is an increase is good news to my ears. I don't think telling people now is dumb.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
14 Dec 11
She actually sounds very immature. I understand respecting what the parents think but bottom line...this is her child. The child should be more important than mom and dad saving face. It's a done deal...she's pregnant and a beautiful baby will be born no matter what the situation.
@ShyBear88 (59263)
• Sterling, Virginia
14 Dec 11
It doenst help that the stressed is her own family. Her mom and step dad won't let her tell her two younger brothers and she hasn't told her dad or step mom and her dads side of the family yet. She is waiting till Christmas day to tell people so that way herded doesn't kill her in a room full of people. There is nohing wrong will me tellin people now. I rather now then in a few months when I'm big and I run into them for family things.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
13 Dec 11
Since you sister in law is not married- that maybe the reason why she's still confused with her situation. I am sure if she is married and happily living with her husband- she will also announced that she is pregnant the very day she came to know about it.
@ShyBear88 (59263)
• Sterling, Virginia
13 Dec 11
No it's not cause of that she is more scared of a miscarriage that is why she didn't tell people till the second trimester. I tell right of the bat I've been pregnant before so it's not new to me how to tell people and I'm not scared of what might happen I'm in the now not the then or the what ifs.
@stary1 (6612)
• United States
19 Dec 11
ShyBear88 ..Absolutely it is NOT dumb to tell anyone (or everyone) you are pregnanat as soon as you find out. It's your life, your baby and just enjoy it the way you want to..your sister can do as she pleases when her time comes... Congratulations on your 2nd pregnancy
@stary1 (6612)
• United States
19 Dec 11
oops meant to say sister-in-law not just sister..sorry
@ShyBear88 (59263)
• Sterling, Virginia
19 Dec 11
Thank you. I understand from her point because it's her first time being pregnant that she is scared of what people will think or say. Me I'm not that's just me. I was scared to tell people when I was pregnant with my daughter but I felt better and I could talk about her freely. She was ready to tell when she was in the second trimester that's fine with me.
13 Dec 11
No, it's not dumb to say that. Everyone should be proud of it at all time, a baby is the best gift a woman can have. At one time in my life, i am too, announce my pregnancy at only 1 week, everyone was shock because my husband just arrive from his trip, and he was only 1 week here, but i am really pregnant and it was his child and i'm very, very happy for this. why should we deny it? if it will make us happy. Some woman really was scared to tell, they are pregnant because for them it was a problem, but for us mothers, a baby is a miracle. :-)
@ShyBear88 (59263)
• Sterling, Virginia
13 Dec 11
To me every women will tell I there own time when they are pregnant I say it right of the bat because there isn't anythin to hide. I'm not scared of the risks since I've been through it before. Someone wem are superstitions.