I'm almost on the brink of suicide!!!!

China
December 17, 2011 8:58am CST
Hello, everyone in Mylot. I'm in tremendous trouble, which I mean that I have gotten a weird mental illness whose symptom profile is that I frightened when looking directly at the face of my friends. Actually, I don't know whether the psychological state is fear, but more or less I'm feared, which results in the embarassed facial expression and also affect the good relationship. You know, when in this state, I can't smile natually. It seems that my heart is closed, I am not friendly in other's eyes. Meanwhile, I am more afraid of seeing their repulsive eyes, which will make me more in the frightened state. It's just like a vicious cycle, which dramatically influences my lives and the relations with my friends. I really want to show a friendly and brilliant smile, but I just can't do it. I guess it's the social phobia or other mental illness. I don't have much clue about what I'm fearing for, but I think many factors lead to the illness: lack of confidence, being face-saving and so forth. I really want to cure it. You know, I escape talking with my firend even some the bests. I'm going to get mad if the thing keep on. How can I do? How to solve the problem? I'm willing to answer all your questions if you can help me. Hope to receive your replies. I really need your help.
2 people like this
3 responses
@Bluedoll (16876)
• Canada
18 Dec 11
In reference only to the facial aspect. I am confused because at one point you said you see in your friends face ‘repulsive eyes.’ I will assume those are looks of disapproval. The question is what are they disapproving of? The fact that you are saying you want to show a smiling face is complimentary and an encouraging thought to have but we can not always do it. Perhaps if you are like me, if I have serious thoughts on my mind or not very happy I am not able to express the opposite. Some people are good at poker faces or displaying a positive image even if they are dying inside but I am lousy at that. I have to be totally honest all the time but I know everyone is different. Though it is true that subtle changes do occur I am confused too with the “problem” because I am wondering what is going on with the more obvious things.
• China
18 Dec 11
I think I should go to see psychological doctors.
@Bluedoll (16876)
• Canada
18 Dec 11
When you feel the need to see a doctor this is the best thing to do. Perhaps it is good to mention about what you can do which can help in a positive way, such as other people to talk with or even being online how this might effect you - plus and minus. I would like to see you do well as an internet friend and always willing to communicate if you think it helps in some small way. Best wishes.
• Philippines
18 Dec 11
http://www.mindpub.com/art546.htm http://www.dosomethingfearless.com/becoming-fearless/ I think the above webpages will do their share of helping you cure your problems. What I see is you are pessimistic and anxious so I thought reading will give you the answers you needed.
• United States
17 Dec 11
First of all I commend you on reaching out and trying to get advice with this situation. I have never hear of this so I might not be too much help. But I will try because my heart goes out to you. It must be very hard having this condition. My advice to you is to tell your close friends what you are going through so they can try to help you or at least understand. You don't have to tell everyone but if have at least one or two people supporting you it will make a difference. Good luck! With the help of your dr, friends and family you will get better.