Do you give second chances?

@xien2xien (1382)
Philippines
December 19, 2011 6:11am CST
For my personal point of view i don't believe in second chances, i always thought that if they can do it before they can be able to do it again and again. To all my past relationship i don't give 2nd chances, i'm always telling them that i'm only giving a chance in a lifetime to prove their love and faith in me. But honestly there were times that i wanted to break my own rules but everytime i'm about to say the words of second chance i always back out and ended up to still end the relationship... eventhough i can forgive them, i can still offer them my friendship too but that's all i can give still no more second chance.... what about in your point of view? will you consider second chances or even third and so forth
3 people like this
30 responses
• Slovenia
21 Dec 11
I would like to, but I tend to think all the things through twice before jumping to any decisions, so sometimes I would slip and 'forgive' something, but never forget, but it's very rare, cause when a person in whatever relationship we are breaks my trust, its never gonna be the same agaian. at least not for me. even though I may forgive them I never forget and there's always this feeling then like what, if it will all repeat..etc. so I try not to give second chances and I don't want to either, but often my own goodness is the one that clashes with my mind and makes me do it. however, if I can as much as I try I don't and will not give a second chance for sure when it comes to lets say romantic relationships, usually this trust is broken with cheating or lies or combination of both and more, so, no, if a guy cheats on me that means he never really loved me as much that he could sustain his desire in the moment of heat and he never deserved me and I, if I respect myself ebnough will foresee that and let hig go as soon as possible, cause you know how people tend to be when we make mistakes we always say we will never do it again, or some even say I'd never to that TO YOU, but reality and circumstances are those that we can't affest, so its better to rather not to promise or say anything, or just say instead I will try not to hurt you, but I can't promise you that for sure. So second chances actuually ware from person to person, but I zthink in general they're not worth it as people find our weakness in that and most of time we get played of this 'goodness' we possess.
• Slovenia
22 Dec 11
yes, you're very right. sometimes people even when others hurt them always have this tiny bit of nontrust towards you because of how people hurt them before and it's not fair, but its hard forgetting old wounds and letting someone close to you again only to get burned again. betrayal in any way always hurts more than anything else.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
22 Dec 11
sometimes in life trust is really the hardest thing to gain from someone
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
22 Dec 11
i agree, it's a lot bit easier to forgive than to forget, usually traumatizing things are not easily forgetful even after a long time, plus the damage it cause us will somehow change our outlook even perspectives in life, unlike forgiving someone we can forgive out of just to have peace of mine
@brownny (66)
• China
20 Dec 11
for me i can give a second chance to see if the person will change even the third once i will be fedup i can't give anymore i will just take my distance
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
thanks for the comment and continue to give second chances to those who deserves it you have a very kind heart
• China
21 Dec 11
thanks
• United States
20 Dec 11
For me it all depends on what was done. If they didn't listen to me and did the complete opposite of what I wanted . I wouldn't forgive because they didn't listen to me. But if they did a minor thing And asked for forgiveness straight away, I would forgive them.
• United States
21 Dec 11
I agree.Actions will Have to speak louder than words in those cases. And Even then They may never be completely forgiven!
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
if the case is minor, its always easy to forgive in an instant but in case of cheating and lying... i don't think so that a simple asking of forgiveness or saying a simple sorry is enough i still think it will take some times thanks for the comment
1 person likes this
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
21 Dec 11
What about you? Have you ever been in a position where you might need a second chance?
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
this is a very interesting question... but i'll answer this anyway... when i said second chances it means that one relationship is being broken and your asking it to get back,,, i've never really done that because for me, when i say it's ove then it should really be over, on the other part in which i never experience i guess if someone else said that they wated to break up with me then i've got no choice... but in some matters i've already asked for forgiveness especially when i've done something wrong
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
You know friend you are right sometimes because I experience being cheated and give another chance the person I love so much but what she did is cheated me again...I don't want to say all but there are people something like that. Those people are selfish and nothing to think but their own happiness not consider the feelings of other... Chances are given only to those dedicated person that really want to change their life. Those people who really think themselves must be put to shame so that they may know how pain they created...right?
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
it,s in their nature and its hard for them to change, though i'm not saying all, but very few have the guts and discipline if they really wanted to change but i may say it still takes a lot of effort for them... at least you've learned your lesson before
@jricky1 (6800)
• China
21 Dec 11
Honestly,i would consider a second chance and i think this maybe good for my personal development.If you really determined to do and nothing could beat you.This is really good for ourself,isn't it?lol,i'm not sure i have confidence in third and even forth chances.Good luck.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
thanks for the comment and i hope the one that you'll consider to give second chaces are worth you're effort and worth for the opportunity you'll give them
@derek_a (10874)
20 Dec 11
I will always give someone the benefit of the doubt and give them a second change, but not a third chance. I can accept that somebody can make a mistake, and be strong and honest enough not to repeat that mistake, but if after committing themselves to not do something bad again, they do it, then yes, I will agree that they are not strong enough and have little self-control or willpower. I think though that even after one indiscretion, it will take a long time to build up trust in somebody again. _Derek
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
in my point of view... everybody deserves your trust, but once you've lost it i really don't know if you can be able to gain it back... thanks for the comment
@jdyrj777 (6530)
• United States
20 Dec 11
Im about to adopt this for myself too. Ive always been a forgiving person but some males you just are always forgiving because they keep messing up. im talking about cheaters. Once they cheat they always will.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
i am very agree to this... it's in their nature to cheat so its very hard for them to stop it and do the other way around... thanks for the comment
@TheCatLady (4691)
• Israel
20 Dec 11
Great question little green kitty. Second chances are part of life and relationships. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. What is important is that the person wants to do better and is making a true effort to do the right thing. Of course some things, like violence, are so bad that the person doesn't deserve a second chance.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
just like the past comments regarding this discussion it always depends upon the situation and the act of why does somebody asking second chances and why will someone gives a second chance... thanks for the comment white cat with blue clothe
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
20 Dec 11
I definitely do believe in giving second chances because I know that there have been times in my own life where I've needed a second chance. However, I also feel that there are times that people wait too long to ask for their second chances. With that said, I know that my husband is on his second chance with me right now because he has hit me once in the past and it it is to ever happen again, I will be out the door quicker than he would ever realize what had happened.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
it's good that you are able to forgive and gives another chance to your husband, i think in marriage life there's a little bit difference unli in some little relationship, in marriage there's a family to think of or consider in giving another chance for a relationship, maybe there's kids to consider also..
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
hello there xien2xien, i am the type of person who always considers second chances but it purely depends on the situation. hence, i do not want to deprive the person in such things so i am giving them second chances if applicable. however, as i have said, it depends on the situation. so if the situation is not tolerable and i cannot bear what wrong they have done, i am not giving this second chance anymore. nevertheless, they are really deserve to be awarded with this reward. thus, i am just giving a second chance to those qualified ones. after all, everybody deserves to have a second chance. as everybody is prone to do a sin that sometimes it is unavoidable.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
everybody makes mistakes, but i think forgivable sins are those mistakes that have been taken unwantedly or accidentaly, but there were some sins committed out of choices, like choice to cheat and lie... choice to flirt with others eventhough they knew they were taken that kind of sins are very hard to forgive even like as you've said that everybody is prone to sin,,, but there were also sins that has been committed accidentally, like just forgetting your especial dates or been late just because of traffics we can really not call it a sin but sometimes we got angry to simple matters like being late or forgotten to great you in your anniversary but these things are completely forgivable since these are unwanted sins
@fantabulus (4000)
• India
20 Dec 11
Yes I will give second chance if my husband is telling me and promise me they will not repeat the mistake. But still I not get such chance because my husband is understanding men.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
hat's nice to know and that's good for you and for your relationship... keep your marriend life strong.... thanks for the comment by the way
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
For me, it will just depend on the situation. If in my point of view, the person as well as the situation are worthy of a second chance, then I'm giving a second chance.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
1st of what kind of situation are you willing to give a second chance can you give some examples.... then second, how will you know if a person deserves a second chance?
• Australia
20 Dec 11
There is really no right or wrong way to answer this, some people think that one chance is all that is deserved for someone to prove thier worth, others think it is alot more. Perosnally, it really depends on the situtation, its been said that cheating is a deal breaker for some. but it may not be for others, you never know. For your standard domestics, plenty of chances are the way to go. As for the more serious things like cheating, stealing etc. One chance is all you will ever get from me.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
im really sorry i really didn't get much of your point or your side in this... but anyways thanks for the comment or if ever can you please try to explain this further... thanks
@djbtol (5493)
• United States
19 Dec 11
I would not want to have a strict rule about second chances. I think sometimes there is much to be gained by working through the issues to a new level of understanding one another. This can make the relationship much stronger. When one partner fails, it does not necessarily mean that some of the guilt is not shared between both people. Also, sometimes our forgiveness may require that we not cast off the person. No hard and fast rules - it can be a very difficult process to survive, yet alone work through.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
its hard to survive in a relationship without the power of forgiveness but sometimes there are inconsiderable things that may come up in one relationship that it will take to break the relationship and can cause on not giving second chance for someone... one of the major hard to forgive cases are cheating and lying it's very hard when loyalty and faithfullness has been damage it's hard to gain back one's trust
@dodo19 (47307)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
19 Dec 11
I will try to give second chances, but I have a difficult time going pass that. i have a difficult time giving a third chance, and such.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
19 Dec 11
i find it very hard to give second chance but i can consider it maybe some other time depending on cases,,, but i agree third chance is the hardest thing to give
@Andyvil (793)
• Philippines
19 Dec 11
I do give second chances to people who deserve them but their is a limit when I should give second chances. If its in a relationship, the moment she sleeps with another guy that will be my limit. I can never forgive someone who cheated on me and slept with another guy.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
19 Dec 11
what if not totally sleep with another guy, what if in some cases she just flirt or have fling or she just lied can you still give her a second chance?
@sjlskl (3382)
• Singapore
19 Dec 11
It depends on the "crime" and how much it affects me. Something might be forgiven while not others. It really depends.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
yes, it still depends on the situation... anyways thanks for the comment
@mohkanari (1957)
• India
19 Dec 11
Life is full of drama. At a critical stage, I may decide such a strong decision of no attachment at all in life time to a person, but as time pass by some strange incidents again force us to connect again. The same mind of me would force me to forgive, saying it is greatness to forgive to one who is changed.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
19 Dec 11
if and only if they proved that they already changed but that will takes some time to prove again theirselves... but in some cases like in my friend's case she use to tell me that when you love someone you will be able to give and give chances until your too tired to even give another
@ardieboi (195)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
It depends on what we're talking about. IF we're talking about love, then there's no such such as a second chance. True love happens only once in a lifetime. It doesn't come twice.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
i totally beleive in this saying.... i've always thought that great things only happens once so give your best shot.... i'm not really a fan of "love is sweeter the second time around" ...