Some men caught red-handed with cheating but still denies it to death...
By davaome
@davaome (1826)
Philippines
December 20, 2011 11:40am CST
There is a very popular quote for seafarers that "every port report, and every place replace", and many of the seafarers(not all), actually have this kind of motto. and some seafarers have relationships with many women of different places because of the constant traveling. And their is really no doubt that some have a family back home. and because of easy access to communication now,(internet,phones) it is easy to keep in touch to all of their women.
I have heard many stories from fellow seafarers about their experiences about women. and it is a common thing to us, and one story is my basis for my discussion.
His family lives in the province, and because the office of their manning agency is at the capital city, he would travel by plane to go to the city to report to the agency, and his papers will be processed and he will just wait for his official date to travel again to the location of his ship. Then during the waiting process(usually takes 1 month or less) he met a girl, and they started to have an affair. it lasted for a very long time. everytime he would be in the capital city he would always tend to his mistress. he even bought a house for his mistress, his wife knew about the house but all the while she only knew that it was a place for his husband to stay in manila, and a place to stay for the family when they are at the capital. Then his wife got suspicious of him and decided to come visit his husband, and she caught his husband together with this girl. Obviously what happened was like world war 3! in rage of course his wife and he got into a big fight. Even though he was obviously cheating on his wife, he said he still denied it, it came to the point that her wife applied for divorced but it didn't push through, they said it wouldn't be good for there children. So they sorted things out and they are already ok. But he never stopped denying the fact that he cheated, well to his wife yes, but to fellow seafarers that's another story.
(please be informed that I put the word "some" on seafarers, to say that not all seafarers are like this, but it is a fact that others do this kind of things)
So, myLotters, have you denied that cheating on your partner even though you were caught red handed? and how did it take place?
3 people like this
10 responses
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
At last a good topic that might give me a clear answer too.
I've been asking same WHY and question in mind for a long time.
Why does men are too firm when it comes to lie/lying-cheating and duh!- even caught in the act - hahaaha-funny! (again duh!)
Well,in my case I never caught him red-handed, but saw the photos and talk with the girl on the phone.
I have it confirmed from their office and etc- witnesses who actually gave me the info (officemates in particular)
Yet, he still deny it.
Okay fine he deny it- but I kicked him out of my life.
So what if we have kids- I rather have my kids with me than living with him under one roof in hypocrisy and pretending.
I hope any guy/men will come out in the open to tell the reason WHY- they still lied even caught naked in bed 
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
My kids do asks question/s -as expected.
They are grown up now (young teens) and they can understand fully what happened.
I am not saying that they they prefer this is the best solution.
They are affected,yes, in any ways.
Yet, they also respect my feelings.
1 person likes this
@davaome (1826)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
That's good that they feel that way about your situation and not being a rebel about it because many teens tend to be rebellious about there parents seperation..
I grew up on a broken family as well when I was 11 years old but, I made sure that it didn't let this situation bother me that much. I just respected my parents decisions, and moved on with my life.
Best wishes to your kids and to you aswell :)
@davaome (1826)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
I really have no answer yet to WHY some men do this jaiho, but hopefully someone will react.
for me what you did is the right thing to do, clearly he was cheating on you, and you have witnesses, photos, clear evidence of what is happening under your nose and evidently he still will deny it.
Hope your kids don't get affected in the recent events in your life.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
20 Dec 11
Other than for having kids, and not wanting to see them every other weekend or something.. or for financial reasons.. I don't know why the scoundrels just don't tell the truth. Just say yes he or she cheated... we aren't stupid. If he looks like a cheater, he's most likely a cheater... just like like if it looks like a duck it's most likely a duck.
I've never cheated on my former husband... but he cheated for 2 years before I found out.. and he also cheated before and the only reason I found out was because the woman was saying she was pregnant and he was the father... that never went anywhere... but at least I found out... and I told him if he ever did it again he was gone. Well he was very sneaky and I trusted him.. come to find out he was cheating right under my nose. He would tell me an excuse... and I believed him. I asked him once if he was cheating, and he said "If you are going to accuse me, I'll go ahead and do it!"... I never accused him.. I asked. That should have told me right there that he was. Finally when he had been eaten up with guilt, he told me he was in love with another woman.. and I invited him to leave my home... came to be that the woman didn't want him after he was no longer with me. She only wanted to play with him with no strings. He was broken hearted and said he felt thrown away like an old shoe. I just told him.."It doesn't feel good, does it?"
He's been history now for about 19 years now... he tried to get back with me once, and I told him no way... If I couldn't do better than that, I'd just go without. I deserve better than a cheating husband. At least he did have the guts to admit it finally.
1 person likes this
@davaome (1826)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
Well it took him a very long time just to admit it...
atleast he got what he deservesd.
In a relationship, in my opinion, is that if your partner was cheating on you for the first time, the trust that you have for your partner is lost forever. then when you still plan to stay together, there will always be that doubt in your mind that "this person has cheated on me once, there is a very big possibility that he can do it again" and most of the time, they do cheat again, and again, and again, a never ending story.
So I believe what you did was the right thing to do. You deserve someone better
1 person likes this
@junmae (1586)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
Hi Pointlessquestions, I admire you for being a nice wife despite of what your husband had done with you. You stayed calm despite of the cheating. Some women are weak enough to accept those things and they would be the one to beg for the man to stay despite of knowing that he has another woman. It's been a long time now and I believe that your ex-husband learned his lesson. Thanks for sharing.
@junmae (1586)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
My father had the same job but I never saw him and my mother fighting because of third party. My father has been very faithful with my mother and we all saw that. Maybe i just cannot accept the fact that my father will get involve and possibly leave us for other woman. I am very lucky to be in this kind of family. We cannot blame men for having an affair with other women while they are away from their family. It is because they also needed something.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
21 Dec 11
I guess there are just some people who can not take any responsibility for their own actions. Even when they are founds guilty of a deed, they will deny it with all of their might. i guess they believe that if they believe it strongly enough then everyone else will too whether or not it the truth or not. @cowboyofhell (3063)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
I don't have a partner but I just cannot miss the idea that if partners are not cheating they are accused as cheaters and when they are not accused that's the time they cheat. There is a bend in logic here and it goes like a cycle. What is disappointing the wives accuse even baseless and then the karma return if the husband cheated.
1 person likes this
@davaome (1826)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
You have a point, and i think it is true in some ways. Partners accused of being a cheater, have been branded so even though they have changed over the years they're partner thinks otherwise, then for those not being accused of cheating, because they hide all to well, or they just started cheating.
in my opinion on the situation, the wives that accuse with no proof to their husbands,
i guess, it happens because the wife herself is giving her husband a reason to cheat. Continuous accusations will become annoying at some time, and the accuser that his wife is, the husband will want to fight back so that she will feel hurt.
I am not justifying that it is good to cheat or it is ok to cheat, but it feels good to get back at somebody who constantly talks bad about you. Hopefully you get my point.
And this is just my opinion on situation, happy myLotting
@fsuma86 (364)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
Hello there!
My dad is a seaman for so many years. He was a sea captain. I don't know the things that he does when he is on board so that's why I cannot judge him that way. I can only say things about my cousins. One story of my cousins is that they like that their vessel will dock in China because according to them there are a lot of girls their for rent. They do it twice a day. When they told me things like that they are still single. I just don't know now because they are married and they are not sharing stories anymore.
So there! Good luck on you voyage davaome!
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
i have a couple of friends whose husbands are abroad and they would even tell their wives that there are a lot of temptations out there...women who would readily give up them selves for money to those men hungry for.... toot. Okay i guess this is with the men, depends on how they will be able to control their urges while they are away with their wives or girlfriends.
@davaome (1826)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
Hi fsuma, Don't worry, like I said, not all do these stuff apply to all seaman :)
There are still good one around
hahahaha 
I really had a good laugh on your response chiyosan It is true that some people on board, can't really control themselves specially when they haven't seen any women for a very long time, but there are some, are very good in controlling their urges.
hahahaha I really had a good laugh on your response chiyosan It is true that some people on board, can't really control themselves specially when they haven't seen any women for a very long time, but there are some, are very good in controlling their urges.@fsuma86 (364)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
Hi there!
That is so true. I also heard a story from m cousin that in China even if you will only give the girl a soap you can do something to here. I guess they also really need to survive but then again as you said it depends on the husbands on how they can control their urges. Even if couples are together, temptations are everywhere so I guess it is very important that you put trust and take care of the relationship.
So there!
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
I think i would understand it when people are caught and they would still deny it. It is of course easier to deny than to explain what happened. I think many have been in such a situation where they were caught lying and just to make the story short, or just to avoid unpleasant conversation, they would just lie to their partners, this applies not only to cheating.
My brother would even tell me that he is quite sure that no men would admit to cheating! and those who does are... well.. stupid! and I asked him even if they were caught red handed.. will they still deny it? He said well yes.. they should! :P
@davaome (1826)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
This made it more easier to realize on why some men really do it. and I believe you on this, some men really don't want the unpleasant conversation, and the time that they have to beg is the irritating part for them because it will hurt their pride the most.
@shskumbla (3338)
• India
21 Dec 11
I also saw some men, who deny some lies even though they said it.At that time, I think of tape recorder-just like placing radar in some city to know the over speed of vehicles
@cearn25 (3456)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
It is good thing you didn't generalize the notion about seafarers. This is true but not all are doing this. For those who are really caught by their wives and didn't admit the bad things they have done, they would definitely not admit the fact that they have committed cheating. They will not self-incriminated their selves because they don't want to lose both.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
That's true not all seafarers and people who works abroad cheats. Some don't find it necessary as they're contented and happy having their family. And some thinks it's not good wasting money over women. My dad's a seaman too and he told my mom about many of his colleagues who did somewhat the same thing. Some even sent money to ladies. But I have heard of stories from my dad too, that there were even some who got cheated by their wife.
My relatives husband who works abroad has been caught not red-handed but with photos of his mistress. Until now he keeps denying it. His kids don't believe him anymore coz when he was in the country he was with his kids only for 2 days and then gone again. But he still says he was not cheating, just doing something important
@davaome (1826)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
Hahaha lies and some more lies
with those kinds of acts no wonder he was caught, he is too obvious, and I guess the wives have this intuition that they KNOW if there husband is cheating on them.
and for me, the worst scenario would be that, while the OFW is working abroad, and his/her partner is having an affair back home. that would be a disaster
with those kinds of acts no wonder he was caught, he is too obvious, and I guess the wives have this intuition that they KNOW if there husband is cheating on them.
and for me, the worst scenario would be that, while the OFW is working abroad, and his/her partner is having an affair back home. that would be a disaster