Do you think it's okay to fight?

@bnsp09 (258)
United States
December 20, 2011 6:53pm CST
I know many couples who do a lot of fighting in their relationship but they love each other more then anything. Do you think it's okay to fight? My man & I have fights and we would never dream of living without each other but when we get on each other's nerves we are going to let each other know. What do you think?
1 person likes this
17 responses
@ShyBear88 (59282)
• Sterling, Virginia
21 Dec 11
I think it's normal for two people to fight it's part of who we are all good couples fight one time or another. Me and my husband some ones fight but we still love each other and want to be together even when we bug each other onces it's out we feel a lot better we never fight around our daughter.
1 person likes this
@ShyBear88 (59282)
• Sterling, Virginia
23 Dec 11
Me and my husband are good about holding it in till we are alone.
@tiina05 (2317)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
hello, I think it is really normal to fight with your mate because it means that you really care to each other and there is a reason why you are doing that. Well, it is okay because that is the reaction of one person if he sees something he dont really like especially if that was made by his girlfriend. right? Just try to calm in situation and I know you will find out what is the cause of the war between both of you. good luck
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@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
22 Dec 11
Thanks! We always make up. We never go to bed angry & there's nothing like cheating or anything crazy we are fighting over. Mainly over stupid stuff like not taking out the trash or one of us thinking we were too harsh when punishing our kids. Nothing major & I think it's completely normal.
• Bangladesh
21 Dec 11
I am agree with you. It happens to me also. I use to fight with my love everyday. Its a part of life. But still we have sound relationship and there are lots of love for each other. Actually its become very simple for us to have fight in our daily life.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
22 Dec 11
I agree! That makes perfect sense!
@cearn25 (3456)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
My boyfriend and I are always fighting but I know although we always fight we love each other so much. Maybe there are too much jealousy and insecurity in our hearts that is why fighting happens. In every relationship, fighting is normal. In the end you will still have your boyfriend and you holding on the relationship.
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@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
22 Dec 11
I agree completely! Many of our fights in the beginning were about trust, insecurity and jealousy but we are way over that! Now it's about little stupid stuff most of the time. We are getting married in a little over a year and I think we'll make it for years & years to come!
@stuckonu (726)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
Of course, it is not OK to fight especially with your lover. But it is also inevitable because you are two different persons. Even people who are "perfectly-matched" so to speak, experiences this problem. But of course, if the fight is long and recurring, there may be some serious problems that needs to be addressed or solved immediately.
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@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
22 Dec 11
I do not agree but I'm glad you gave me your opinion. I understand what you are saying but without fighting you don't learn more about each other & grow closer by over coming hard times.
• India
21 Dec 11
I think it is perfectly natural to fight.. However close you are to your man/woman there will always be sometime where you tend to disagree with each other.. Even in my case I tend to fight sometimes with my fiance for some issues.. But the most important thing is we make sure we talk and sort out the differences and not let the fight to escalate.. Talking also helps in reducing the tension between us and I feel in a couple both of them must equally be ready to accept their mistake if they have done something wrong..If this is done, even if there are fights, it would just end quickly and not blow up.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
22 Dec 11
Ours blow up every now & then but we never go to bed angry. We always make sure to resolve the fight & talk about how we feel. But I completely agree that fighting is natural & it will happen. So long as it is not constantly over the same thing & you make up I don't see a problem with it.
• United States
21 Dec 11
Depends on what you are fighting for and who started it? I don't fight unless provoked, and someone has to throw the first punch.
• United States
22 Dec 11
I think that if you are right, and you know in your heart that you are right, then you better stand up for yourself in an argument. I know about physical fights and arguments, and I do my best to stand up for myself in both. I know what it is like to be the scapegoat, and what it is like to be blamed for something that I didn't do, and I will never let people do that to me anymore. Always stand up for yourself, and never let anyone use you as a doormat. I am worth more than that, and you are worth more than that. Always, ALWAYS stand up for yourself. I refuse to let anyone take me down anymore. I used to let people take me down, but I won't let them do that to me anymore.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
24 Dec 11
I used to do the same thing! I just wanted the fight to stop! And I don't think you can win against a drunk man (as a female) at least not my ex. It wasn't worth trying! I'd just let him get his anger out & pray he'd pass out somewhere soon. But never will I allow someone to treat me like that again! I couldn't do that for me but especially not for my kids sake!
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@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
22 Dec 11
I didn't mean fighting like punching or hitting. I mean arguing, yelling maybe slam a door but nothing like punching each other! I've never been in that kind of fight. I was a punching bag for my ex and I will never do it again! I feel it's completely normal to argue and to get angry with each other from time to time. Do you?
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@MandaLee (3756)
• United States
22 Dec 11
Hello, You can disagree respectfully. However, abuse is never okay.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
22 Dec 11
I completely agree! We never hit each other or anything like that maybe yelling at each other but nothing crazy!
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
A fight in every relationship is inevitable. A fight in every relationship helps your relationship grows a lot. The more you fight, The more you get stronger. But make sure that the kind of fight that you have is like a childish fight, not the fight that involves violence.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
22 Dec 11
no violence just arguing kind of fights
@mohkanari (1957)
• India
21 Dec 11
My friend and his wife love each other very well, but they quarrel on simple issues occasionally. Both confess on it after sometimes. My friend says the moments after solving the issues of quarrels are extremely joyful, and that may be his wife brings issues to quarrel occasionally.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
22 Dec 11
Totally agree! It makes more time for love after the fight. It also is healthy I think!
• China
21 Dec 11
Well,it often depends on the chracters of the couple whether they would have a fight But fighting is harmful for the couple both mentally and physically,and it should be avoided whenever we can.Except in some extreme cases where the situation is almost out of control,it's best to deal with the matters without violence.
• China
23 Dec 11
Oh,I'm sorry to have misunderstood you.It's actually normal to have some arguments in the family life,and sometimes it often brings a better relationship in the couple by enabling them let their emotions off.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
22 Dec 11
not punching I was talking about yelling or arguing!
@Nebel23 (46)
• Chile
21 Dec 11
I agree, a couple without fights doesn't work. Maybe there are exceptions, but when you fight with your partner you can see other sides of him, besides when he is loving a caring.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
22 Dec 11
Completely agreed. I feel you need to fight to learn more about each other & to grow as a couple.
• China
21 Dec 11
i do not like fighting even though i know it is very common.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
22 Dec 11
Thanks for responding Some people don't and that's ok
@coco275 (45)
• United States
21 Dec 11
If you are in a relationship were you are in a physical fight that is not okay. This is called "Domestic Abuse" and you need to leave immediately. On the other hand if you are referring fighting to arguing then that's different. Every relationship have arguements, you just have to come to a neutral place where you both agree to disagree.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
22 Dec 11
HAHAHA!!! A lot of people think I mean abuse of some kind. I totally meant arguing. I was in an abusive marriage for five years & I would never let that happen again! I agree it's normal & okay so long as you make up at the end of the day.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Dec 11
hi only up to a certain point. If you c an be civil and talk it ou t wi thout screaming and yelling and hitting yes. but if your relationship is mostly fights then you need some help some guidance. we made a ru ld to talk things out and not raise out voices and above all settle our argument before going to bed, no going to bed furious and getting up still angry.over our 33 years of marriage we had maybe ten fights at most and they were never vicious as netither one of us were confrontational people. we did settle our fights and learned we still loved each other. You need to settle your fights in a way that both of you are satisfied. there are better ways to not get on each o thers nerves. but first did you two really know each other before I suppose living together? that wou ld help as no one is perfect
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
22 Dec 11
It was more of a general question but.... We did really know each other before moving in together. I've been married before & know that going to bed angry is a big no no in my book. We are getting married in a year and we do fight (never hitting) yelling yes but it happens. I don't think that there's anything wrong with it (it's not an everyday thing) I think it's healthy to fight sometimes. I think it helps you to grow as a couple & I have no doubt that we are going to be married for many years because we are so in love & we've made it through a lot of hard times!
• India
21 Dec 11
All i can say is fighting is a part of love until when you come together after a big worst fight. We have heard of worst divorce and breaking of long relationship. It doesn't take much time to break up with the love but takes lot of time in building a relationship. Its the same logic as the reputation once the reputation is lost you have to struggle making a good reputation in the market otherwise its all gone. Coming to the point of discussion i think its ok to fight with your love there is no couple in the world that has lived happily without fights this is only possible in heaven not on this deadly earth. While making things worst make sure that you do not extend the limits of your fights that are uncontrollable to handle the situation. So all i can suggest you is fight when things get out of nerve but at the same time see to that you are on the track to love him back cause iam sure you don't want to lose your precious love which god has given you. God bless you.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
22 Dec 11
I agree! We never let it go further then arguing he'd never lay his hands on me & the same for me. We love each other and we would not let a simple fight tear us apart.
@early3 (60)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
Don't worry, its okay to fight as long as you do not reach to a point where you will hit each other because this may probably lead to separation. Couples and any other relationships fight and it is normal. In the end everything will turn out alright and your relationship will even become more solid.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
22 Dec 11
That's how I feel. I was in an abusive marriage for 5 yrs and I would never be with someone who ever even tried to lay a hand on me in the wrong way again. We do grow stronger by arguing & getting over disagreements!