Can You Still Smile and Pretend All is Okay Even if your Heart is Broken?

Davao, Philippines
December 25, 2011 9:47pm CST
There is a saying which I still remember from teenage days,"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry...and you cry alone..." Nowadays, we see a lot of men and women with a look of pain in their faces, look of deep frustration and disappointment in life. Yeah, if only we can just open their hearts, I'm sure we'll see the broken pieces...bleeding with pain, yet beating still for life, holding on to a slim thread of hope. Sometimes, I become also one of these sad majority people of the world today. I want to hide what I feel...by masking it with a smile. But I don't know how effective I am in convincing my friends and those close to me that all is okay with me, even if my heart is broken. How about you, Can you still smile and pretend all is okay even if your heart is broken?
2 people like this
19 responses
• Philippines
26 Dec 11
I was once in that position, actually even up to now i was in that kind of position, I smile even my heart is in pain and broken, because i don't want my love ones to know how hurt i am and how sad i am. I know i'm not the only one who pretend with my smile because they know what i feel they just also pretend that everything will be ok with me. I don't regret having or making smile even there is lot of problem and pain inside of me, because in that way i can be much stronger and don't let my friends and family to worry about me. And smile and laughters is a way of being of positive attitude of life.
• Philippines
27 Dec 11
Yes.. i believe also that i am such a strong person, someone told me also if you dont want other person to know what is inside of you, you can show your smile, in that way you leave an impression with a positive vibes and to be good person as well..
• Davao, Philippines
26 Dec 11
Mikaela, I believe you are such a strong woman as displayed in the way you deal with your pain and hurt inside your heart. I like what you said you don't regret having or making smile even if there is lots of problems and pain inside you, because in that way you can show you are a strong person...
@vanessa (90)
26 Dec 11
No one is perfect in this world. All of us experience failures and fallbacks in life. And in nature, we respond to it by means od sadness. It just depend on you if you will let that negative feeling in your system. i've experienced a big failure in my life, im in despair that time and cried. But then i realized that if i let that feeling within me for a long time then it will constantly make me down. What I did was i used the defense mechanism to boost my ego and diversion activities so that i wont keep on thinking of my failure. I stood up and start a new monent in my life. Now, Im happy that i overcome those negative feelings with the help of my family and friends. There is always a chance for everything and it just depends on you how to handle your failures. Smile and let it go. Start a brand new life and learn from the past mistakes and heartbreaks that you've been through.
• Davao, Philippines
26 Dec 11
Vanessa, you're right. We all go through sad experiences in life brought about by failures and broken relationships. What I like is what you mentioned about "Defense Mechanism"...Yeah, we need it to put up a strong cover-up, not only that but also to boost our ego and cope up with the present situation...Indeed smiling and laughing are best defense mechanism I can think of at the moment...
26 Dec 11
thank you mercedes for the compliment. Yeah, we really need to use defense or coping mechanisms in order for us to overcome the failures we had been experiencing. life is short to live in despair. if we dont use defense mechanism then it would lead us to depression, then worst insanity. and im sure no one wants to be insane. So all we need is to be positive that in every situation, there's
@jpso138 (7851)
• Philippines
26 Dec 11
I really find it hard to smile even if my heart is broken or when I am feeling sad. I usually am very emotional and it is really hard to hide how I feel and what I feel. I usually need an outlet when I am feeling sad. But there are times that I really need to hide how I am feeling so often, I lock myself in my room and cry my heart out just to have an outlet for the pain.
• Davao, Philippines
26 Dec 11
Like you jpso138, I'm also a very emotional and sensitive woman...and eyes that easily swell in tears out of hurt feelings deep inside my heart. I felt embbarassed one time when I wasn't able to hold back those tears, then people seeing you, especially those close to you will come near you and began asking why...So I said to myself never would I shed tears again in front of inquisitive minds...
• Philippines
26 Dec 11
I am not convinced that smiling alone can be a reason to think the person is happy. The speaking amount is noticed and the less one talks the person is said to be sad although he or she smiles. It's not that easy to fool people into believing that you are happy by a smile alone.
• Davao, Philippines
27 Dec 11
A person can smile even if his heart is popping out swollen with gross abuse of pain...but that wouldn't be a genuine smile...some may call it a "Dog's smile", but sometimes a dog's smile can be credited more heavy in substantial meaning, than a smile of a person whose heart is crushed in grief...
@Woody7189 (247)
• United States
26 Dec 11
It can be difficult to conceal your feelings when you are hurting inside, but I can do it most of the time. Most people that I see don't know the suffering that I go through each day because I try very hard to keep it from showing. I don't want to have people feel bad for me, that somehow makes it all worse for me. That being said, it is inevitable that at some point all them feelings will come to the surface and when it happens it is everything all at once.
• Davao, Philippines
26 Dec 11
Yeah, you're right there, Woody.It's hard to conceal what we are really feeling deep in our hearts, especially when it is hurting...But most often we try to hide our hurt feelings in order to maintain our composure needed to preserve a dignified impression about us in the minds of those around us...
• Philippines
26 Dec 11
You can't be happy and pretend all is well with yourself. It would be better to show your feelings or tell what you feel about because in that sense you can easily recover from being heart broken.It is really painful but you have to accept the FACT , the TRUTH itself. It is not good to hide or pretend that your okay.
• Davao, Philippines
26 Dec 11
There are times when you just can't anymore hide the hurt feelings deep in your heart...but better still we might as well look for a private secluded place to let flow our tears if we really need to cry...I also agree with you, that in order for us to move on and recover from the pain, we have to face and accept realities in life...
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
31 Dec 11
like the song says First cut is the deepest some 20 yrs ago my first love, I couldn't smile, eat and so on but after a few more disappointment, lovers or friends I stopped thinking friendship or love ever lasts. as soon as I convince myself about this convincing other people goes naturally I learned to enjoy love/friendship while it lasts and when it's over, I would move on change phone number, email, address, learn new things, make new friends and have fun, meet new people, keep my mind and body active I notice that after every heart break I always find someone better better as in smarter, better looking, wiser, more mature, more fun than the previous. so it's true the saying 'what/who we lose, we don't need' :)
@coffeebreak (17798)
• United States
27 Dec 11
If you can...please let me know how. I really would like to learn!
@hgwyneth (120)
• Philippines
28 Dec 11
Sometimes, it's better to pretend and hide our true feelings especially for those people who don't care about what we feel. But for those people who really care about us, it's ok to share what we feel. It will help ease the pain. Knowing that someone listens make the day brighter. Broken heart is just part of existing. It happens to everybody. Just don't dip yourself too much on sadness and the only way to do that is to share it to someone whom you can trust. Live, laugh, love!
@areskya (398)
• Indonesia
27 Dec 11
Yes, I can. I also ever faced the same condition as you becoming one of those majority sad person. I feel so hard to smile on those bad days, so I tend to stay on peace place for expressing my sadness alone. I think it is okay and needed to do cos we need time to be alone and think about this case in order to find the right way to solve it. Then, I'll socialize with my community ( we can't just go away if we have problems, right? We still have some responsibilities to do). By gathering with many different person, it will make us think many things so it will decrease our focus in the sadness. The best medicine for losing the sadness is seeing the children face, children is so pure, has big hope on their eyes and their smile could melt any sadness. So, just enjoying this life cos there are many sorrow people outside there.
@indi15 (888)
• India
27 Dec 11
This is something one needs to do some times When you are in a situation that you can not reveal what is in your heart and you need to conceal things. Although you are crying at heart but you need to be happy in front of others because you do not have any other option.
• United States
28 Dec 11
yes im very good at that pretending that everything ok i use to do it alot was i was a teenager i use to always be sad and depress i just didn't like my life i thought no one love me or cared for me that just how i felt but when i'm around people i was act like i'm the happiest person in the world lol even tho i am sad inside
• India
26 Dec 11
The title suits more for women than men. In most of the cases men cannot hide there feelings with a smile. It will be very evident on there face. But most of the women are not like that. Even with tears in her eyes she still manages to say "I'm OK" with a smile.Sadly even I do mask my feelings with a smile.
• Davao, Philippines
26 Dec 11
Yeah, you're right there icyrose,because they say women have softer hearts, and more melodramatic and sensitive in nature. We are the ones who get easily hurt and sometimes has no complete control with our tears. Yeah, even with tears in our eyes, we still manage to smile...
@pshykid (45)
• India
27 Dec 11
I am a type of guy who pretends All is Okay Even if my Heart is Broken,First when failures happened to me in my life I didnt take it sportive,I took it in the wrong path and made my face ful of unhappiness and sometimes I might also look as If i have lost something. But,nowadays I take everything in a very challenging way by taking everything happens in life as sportive.Confidence is very important to all human beings they should not live without confidence in this world. At this point of time I would like to share my favourite quote:: ''WHEN LIFE SHOWS YOU 100 REASONS TO CRY,SHOW BACK THAT YOU GOT 200 REASONS TO LAUGH'' thats what I follow in my life,and I want everybody to follow this too...
@aprilsong (1884)
• China
26 Dec 11
The saying makes sense, of course, but sometimes i find it is very hard to show smile while there is pain in my heart. In fact, if we force ourselves to smile while we don't want to smile at all, i think, is not good for our health. Though sometimes our bad mood can influence our friends and colleagues, which is not good at all. But i think it is better to use the ways of yours to spend the sad moments: talking with friend; just be alone; or go out to have a travel.
@yanzalong (18988)
• Indonesia
26 Dec 11
For me, personally, I can not hide my feeling. I may try to smile but people will know that I have a problem. Eyes can not cheat, you see. Lips can cheat people. So no matter how clever you are to hide your true feeling, your eyes will never lie.
@pCartoon (27)
• Malaysia
26 Dec 11
Hi mercedes2053, From my experience, at first, I really couldn't hide it . People could easily tell that I wasn't okay . It was the time when I still don't know about how to deal with the pain, frustration, disappointment and even my problems . no matter what, I still can't avoid it until now . But, after years my heart has been broken, It was just started to bore me . I already used to it . Surprisingly, I could even sense about the oncoming news which cause my heart broken . Yeah, my experience taught something . I can hide that, pretending that everything is alright . I can even smile when it comes to me . this just doesn't bother me anymore . I'm just sick of tired of being broke .
@jricky1 (6800)
• China
26 Dec 11
It's really hard and sad when i'm sad but i still need to pretend that i'm ok.But anyway,i have my family who around me and also i have my friends love and support me.Cry out if you really wanna cry cause you may feel relaxed when you are doing this.Anyway,don't be upset,new life is just around us and we all full with happiness.
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
26 Dec 11
I agree that there are a lot of people who feel like this at times. Many of us have been affected by so many negative things that happen in our life. That it really does break our heart. But it's important that we strive to maintain a happy attitude and endure what comes our way. This way we can find enjoyment in the things and people we love.