Cheating
@AlexJordan1231 (48)
United States
January 2, 2012 1:52am CST
I know that cheating is not condoned but at the same time I can understand why people do it. I cheated on my husband because someone that I work with gave me everything I was missing my my marriage at the right time. I fell deeply in love with this person and felt that he felt the same way since he told me "i love you" first and told me his deepest darkest secrets and about his strong feelings for me everyday. We dated for a while and for a while I kept it secret. He listened to me and understood me.I had plans to leave my husband when he showed me the ring that he wanted to get for me. But...he broke up with me shortly after that to start dating this girl he had known 8 years ago that he was in love with. He moved in with her and didnt seem to take what i was feeling into consideration at all. I was devastated but at the same time a little relieved because I no longer would be cheating on my husband and have a guilty conscience overload. The guy from work is with this new woman now but continues to tell me that he misses me and that he loves me and how hard it is to see me at work. I didnt make the choices he did. but he tells me one thing and tells others different things. for example : he'll tell me he loves me and that hes not happy with her and then he'll tell other coworkers that he is "growing his hair out for the wedding" I am confused and my friends think i should " hate him" and not talk to him at all anymore. I remain friends with this man and I guess part of me still holds on to a glimmer of hope for us although I know it can never be. This is the first time I had ever experienced real love but although he said he felt the same I think i just got played. Please dont judge me if you have never been in this situation before and dont know all the details. if you have any advice or comments you would like to ad however, feel free to do so...but BE NICE.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@seemared (771)
•
3 Jan 12
I haven't cheated my husband yet but there have been circumstances that I felt so.with my husband knowledge I do share my bed with his one friend.it was his idea of sharing our bed with him and he is quite good at bed.and I do call him if my husband goes out town for work and comes back after weeks or months.
it started when I started feeling lonely at home when my husband left for work out towmn and said wouldn't coming for months..and he advised me to stay with his friend who quite likes me a lot and has got a crush on me..
m husband was fine telling me to do that and so I did..it was a bit embarrassing at first but soon I found it enjoying and the fact to know that I have 2 partners..while he came back I stopped and came back to my home..while my second partner wanted me more and I said no as I am having my husband back..he became devasted and talked to my husband that he would like some more time and my husband said to attend him once more and so I did..I couldn't say no as he is quite good at bed and I didn't want to miss that..
things worked at my life so and still does and it does so because my hubby is open minded to it and agrees on open relationship..
@AlexJordan1231 (48)
• United States
3 Jan 12
I have offered that to my husband and for a while he was looking for another "partner" then he said that it didnt feel right because he felt that if i got mad at him, i would hold it over his head although he cheated on me behind my back before all this. I think open relationships are great because you get things from another partner that you wouldnt get from the one you are married too. Good luck and I hope that it doesnt cause any problems for you. :)
1 person likes this
@angemac23 (2003)
• Canada
2 Jan 12
First of all, there is NEVER any excuse to cheat on your spouse, even if there is something "missing"...if you are not happy with your spouse, you should talk to him, come up with a resolution and if there is no resolution, get a divorce - not cheat behind his back. Secondly, you would not want your husband cheating on you so take this into consideration when dealing with what has happened. In order for you to move forward, you need to come clean with your husband about what has happened and what you want to happen. You can't keep something like this from him, it is not fair....you will not be able to move on past this if you do not talk to your husband first. After you speak with him, one of tho things will happen: 1. he will forgive you and start giving you the things that were lacking in the relationship that resulted in your cheating or 2. he will leave you and you will know the truth of it all and have a clean slate with which to work with and start over and take a better, happier path in life.......good luck!
@AlexJordan1231 (48)
• United States
3 Jan 12
i didnt say i condoned it...there are circumstances that i did not add, we have a son together and he told me i would be sorry if i divorced him and took his son away from him, also, he isnt mr. innocent, he cheated on me as well and i stayed with him as he assured me it wasnt happening anymore. you can say what you would do but until someone is actually in the same situation, they dont know what they would do.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
2 Jan 12
I am sorry about the feeling you must have right now. But for the sake of your family, please do live right and bring back the love you have for your husband. You are lucky to have a husband that is there for you - nobody is perfect but would you rather be with someone like this person who would continue to lie to you and not be true to you and openly chooses another person and tell you things like this that he loves you still and misses you but acts differently with others! I mean he is so ashamed of you and your relationship, i would say that you deserve more than this kind of person - be with the man who chose you - he may have flaws, and i think you too have your flaws as you have even cheated on your husband.
It is not too late I tell you, please make your family whole again. Forget this guy and if you have to, leave work so you would move on and forget this person. I pity the woman he is going to marry because he is such a loser... he wanst both of you in his life... he would probably make you his mistress after he marries this woman... and do not do more harm than you already have, please.
@bonbon664 (3466)
• Canada
2 Jan 12
I think this guy wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants to string you along because it's good for his ego. I don't think it sounds like a good situation for you, I think you would end up getting hurt in the end.
As far as your marriage goes, you should assess whether or not you still want to be with your husband. He's clearly not giving you what is going to make you happy. You may then have a chance to experience real love again in your life.
@AlexJordan1231 (48)
• United States
2 Jan 12
i looked in FAQ and i must not be looking in the right place b/c i dont see an option for deleting a discussion that you wrote...I just figured I dont want the wrong people reading that post about cheating and I wanted to delete it but I cant figure out how..can you help me?
@ajagogo (153)
• Philippines
2 Jan 12
I do understand what you are feeling but you should weigh things out. For my point of you on what you told, these guy is not worth your love. Don't leave your husband for these guy who will surely will give you heartache. If you can do quit your job, the better, so that you have no longer communication with him. The interaction with him will make it harder for you to move on and forget him.
@AlexJordan1231 (48)
• United States
3 Jan 12
that is exactly what my friends have told me. Thank you for your input. :)
