It's hard to tame the tongue

Philippines
January 17, 2012 6:20pm CST
Do you find yourself hurting others because of your tongue? I mean, the tongue is a small part of the body and it's always hidden because it's inside the mouth but it's always the one which is used in hurting others' feelings or even ourselves. It is difficult to control it. There are times when we carelessly say a word that it's going to be spread around by another tongue (in the form of gossiping)until things would be misunderstood by other people and have done so much damage. It is like a fire that started only as a little flame but it will suddenly spread and become a big fire - it burns and destroys. It could also be full of deadly poison if it is not tamed. There's a chapter in the Bible (James 3) that says "Out of the mouth proceeds blessing and cursing." For me, there are times that I find it hard to restrain myself from saying the wrong words, especially when I'm tensed/stressed and not in the mood, and I very much regret when I have spoken words that would hurt someone and it would already be too late to stop. As an adult now, I've learned that speaking the right or wrong words have great impact on someone's life. What do you do to tame your tongue? Do you always think and choose the right words to say before speaking? Thanks and may we all have a good time today!
3 people like this
11 responses
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
19 Jan 12
hi nelia_lyn! somehow i know that there are instances in my life that i have hurt others whenever i react with anger during my younger years. however, this only happens rarely because whenever i am angry i usually walk out. now that i am older, i have learned to control my anger and think so many times before i let words come out of my mouth. i usually calm my nerves first before i let myself talk. sometimes, i really want to lash out and hurt people who have hurt me and still are hurting me, but i always thought that nothing good will ever come out of it and hurting them will just make me feel guilty. the best way for me to do is just ignore those people who have tongues like two-edged sword, besides i usually think of these people as unhappy and insecure. i just pray for them that they may lose their voice (haha..just kidding!) take care and have a nice day! lovelots..faith210
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
21 Jan 12
yes that is very true...realizing the mistakes that we make and learn from them.
• Philippines
20 Jan 12
I'm sure all of us have, in some ways, hurt other people because of wrong choices of words, but should be able to realize our mistakes and learn from them. Thank you, faith, for the helpful input. Take care, too!
1 person likes this
@taheraa (1545)
• Giza, Egypt
20 Jan 12
We may hurt others, when we do not choose what might come out of our tongue. So, we need to think more than one before we take to anyone, and pass the words through your mind before the word out. But sometime we take with our friends just for advice, at that case, He will accept your words Even if it had been painful. Anyway all, We need to learn and practice the ethics, to improve our dealings with others.
• Philippines
20 Jan 12
I agree, taheraa. Think not once, but twice, thrice, or more Thanks for the response. Have a nice time!
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
19 Jan 12
i completely agree with you... our tongue is a very dangerous thing... it might be small and unseen from the outside... but it can be a very lethal weapon to hurt somebody without we even realising it... that's why i try my very best to be really careful to what i say to other people and control myself... take care and have a nice day...
• Philippines
20 Jan 12
Being lethal, yes, it could be. And I also agree with you that we have to be really careful what to say to others. Thanks, lingli, for the response. take care, too.
@lynnemg (4529)
• United States
18 Jan 12
I am not a gossipy person, but there are many times when I say hurtful things to those I love the most..esepcially when I am feeling hurt or frustrated. I try to think before I speak, as I try to teach my children to do, but inevitably, there are times when my emotions take centrol, and I just don't think. I always end up feeling bad when I say things that are hurtful to others, and I try to genuinely apologize when this happens. However, we all know that hurtful words can stick with a person for a long time, and it takes a lot to really show that one is truly sorry.
• Philippines
20 Jan 12
I share your sentiments. I believe that when you feel that way, you are facing problems or difficulties causing you to bend your frustrations to someone. People get hurt when emotions take control and this nasty little tongue begins lashing out Yes, sometimes sorry is not enough to heal someone we hurt because of hurtful words used. Thanks for sharing, lynnemg. Cheers!
@Rick1950 (1575)
• Lima, Peru
19 Jan 12
Yeah, to tame the tongue is tough. I myself have commited a lot of carelessness and still I do it. I read the passages of the Bible which you mean. I think the apostle is right. Also I watched on a movie, that Gandhi frequently made fasts of silence. I think we shouldn't be too prompt to say something, we should more hear to the others.
• Philippines
20 Jan 12
Right. We should be careful in whatever we have to say cause it could affect a person's life. Words that come our of our mouth could build or destroy someone. Thanks, Rick, for the wise input
@nfrenciz (99)
• Philippines
18 Jan 12
Yes indeed it's really very hard to tame our tongue. This is one of weakness really that I'm trying hard to change. Yes indeed our tongue is just a small part in our body but when it hurts, it'll hurt like a double edged sword. I remember during my high school days that I lost and never can gain friends for I'm not really thinking what will I'm going to say, I'm not sensible enough to understand other persons feeling. It's hard really to change, but thanks God I'm not that worst now compared than before.:)
• Philippines
20 Jan 12
We do need to learn some lessons the hard way :) but it's not too late to change for the better. I think it's always the tongue that puts us into difficult situations If it's just easy to cut it and be safe! Thanks for sharing your opinion on this.
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
18 Jan 12
I've always been one that 'calls it as I see it'! Matter of fact, I have almost ended up at the emergency room, several times, in the past few days.........for 'biting' my tongue! lol Okay, not actually, but ya know the sayin...bite your tongue! It is hard to control in many instances, and most that know me well, know that when I speak the truth, they might not like what they hear, but it will be the truth. And many times friends ask me questions because they know that about me. I do not however, just say things to be hurtful, that is a whole different issue. And many times people do say hurtful things without meaning too, it's really not too late to apologize or take it back, if the apology is sincere.
• Philippines
18 Jan 12
It's not your fault that people get hurt when you tell them the truth - the truth sets you free - but sometimes we do need to bite our tongue. It's another story if you are telling people lies and making up stories just to spite other people, or if you are the kind that easily blurt out hurtful words not minding if the person you are talking to is being hurt by what you said. Thank you for sharing and for the wise input :)
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
18 Jan 12
Yes, our tongue is just a small, small part of our body but it can cause big fire if we don't control it. We really need to do something to control it so that we can't make problems, can't make enemies and can't destroy relationship either. It is a hard task to tame the tongue but by God's grace we can always do. To avoid this it is better to think first before we talk. When we think first we have to take into consideration who would hear and who would we might hurt when we deliver any word. Also when we are angry it is better to keep silent first because when we are angry we utter unimaginable words we don't really want to say. In my case I always pray to God to give me the grace to be more careful of the things I say. I don't want to be hurt by others so I might as well learn to avoid hurting others too. Praying can do wonders. If you regularly ask God to help you tame your tongue and He knows how sincere you are, He will surely grant your prayers.
• Philippines
18 Jan 12
Yes, asking God regularly to help us tame our tongue is important. I agree with all that you've said. Thank you for sharing a very valuable and helpful input.
@beamer88 (4259)
• Philippines
18 Jan 12
We should always think through things we want to say. Yet, even when we use the right words, we still could be misunderstood. I agree that an uncontrolled tongue can really get us into trouble. But an uncontrolled ear would likewise do the same :)
• Philippines
18 Jan 12
You are right, beamer. Things will get worse when an uncontrolled tongue says the wrong words and they fall on an uncontrolled ear. Thanks for the response :)
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
18 Jan 12
When one is very angry, it is inevitable that hurting words will come out from one's mouth. We say them in order to hurt the person who initially have hurt you. But in a natural situation, we are to restrain what we are to say. We should choose the right words and the right time to say it, so it won't hurt people. Most of all, think it over, before you say the words you have to say, to avoid hurts and anger.
• Philippines
18 Jan 12
Anger is a very dangerous emotion if not controlled and because of it, people say hurtful words. You are right, we need to choose the right words and the right time to say what we have to say. Thank you for the wise input :)
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
18 Jan 12
I agree with you we should try to choose the right words but you know sometimes there will be people who will find fault on the words we use. Sometimes we don't know we have offended anyone when all we say are truthful words. Sometimes I even think I should not speak nor say any word. It is better to be silent sometimes and give no comments.
• Philippines
18 Jan 12
You're right. It is much better to keep silent and just speak when necessary, but it is so hard to do it And sometimes, it is also better not to listen when all people got to say are non-sense or gossips. Thanks for sharing, enelym, appreciate it.