Rant ;-;

Tweet

I feel upset. Like ever since december things have felt distany between me and my love. now i had met him online 3 years ago. we had been the best of friends. than a year ago we got together and moved closer to eachother and stuff and soon after got engaged. His parents don't really like me and kinda went on about how he isnt allowed to talk to me and we cant see eachother so he was forced to break up but the same night we secretly got back together. i just couldnt do it. i felt this clenching suffocating feeling as soon as that had happened. but on top of that i was pregnant. we are both finacial able for this mind you but i was forced to abort. i didnt wanna do it i really didnt. im still dwelling on that. and we keep waiting for july because july he is supposed to move out and move in with me. but its hard @.@ like i know its only a few more months but it seems so far away. and i dont think hes handling it very well yesterday he kept his phone off all day. h had finally tunred it on to apologize and tell me he was feeling down but when i asked why he said "reasons x.x" and he wouldnt tell me but the only thing i could think that would be the issue is the wait for july as its normally his reason. ive been having horrible gut feelings and stuff and its making me sad because i think he may be thinking bout breaking it off cuz hes having trouble with the wait. and all day today i had tried to call him. we were supposed to see eachother today but his phone has been off. ive been so upsetover this im scared i dont want to lose him. i dont know what to do. but i have the dreaded feeling thats whats to come o